Ask an AI of your choice what is the worst that could happen if you let a PE firm take over running your kid's lemonade stand.

In the end, the one thing that all the AI's should agree on is that you end up losing your house and all the equity you put in it, but only after a long, painful series of events that involves useless, be-vested twats milling around in your front yard screeching at each other about how successful they are like the spawn of a peacock demon and a Real Housewife, a mountain of rotting lemon peels and industrial waste appearing in your front yard, Lemmonadeᵀᴹ-related poisonings somehow getting pinned on you, and your kid disappearing one day to be replaced by a knockoff Yamasaki HP50-20-NX100 manufactured in North Korea out of washing machine parts that Russian soldiers looted from the Chernobyl site.

And that's one of the better case scenarios.

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