After much deliberation and consternation I am EXCITED to inform you of the NEWDIRECTIONS (say that one phonetically) THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS TM AND FURTHER subs AND ANCILLARY PROPERTIES have taken.
Some creative process has lead to an considered decision to INTENTIONALLY SPLIT THE TIMELINE!
Allowing our supreme leader to be and do exactly as he had always wanted. A servant leader who NEVER enjoyed AC/DC and their DEVIL MUSIC…. But he loves the Bison. And he knew he needed your support. And his role…. He was a man of war. Denied entrance to the promised land. Denied opportunity to see the temple built. But his leadership has been UNQUESTIONED by some with faith.
All of this of course being a ruse. A ruse for the TRUE AGENDAS. It will be my honor to fulfill my duties and I will NEVER claim to fully accomplish or even fit the role of what used to be called “supreme honcho…. Et. Al.”
Guessing you see where this is going.
New AGENDA:
1. Prove Jesus loves BISON FOOTBALL (and everyone else)
2. INDEPENDANT FBS BISON
-[REDACTED] those conference bitches. We are the mighty BISON. Who the [REDACTED] do they think they are dealing with? Jesus…. Not happy here.
3. Avenged Sevenfold’s HAIL TO THE KING will be the BISON intro song…. To the FBS. As it is written, it shall be done.
4. ThunderStruck Makers Tequila TM sponsored rehab centers in bison populations of 10,000 or greater.
-we needed the spirits on that booze to get here. But time to tame the demons gang. We are getting old for this shit. That gal pissing on the wall pushed Jesus over the edge here.
5. Dippin’ Dot Spoons.
Thank you that is all for now.
-Guy speaking with authority granted by JESUS…. Maybe we can finally get you guys off your asses that way…