Originally Posted by
OrygunBison
Just starting up this discussion again because of a bit of dialog in the Sproles thread. In the opus below, I’m declare without any doubt that the team needs Chapo’s constant nonsense and they need me to wear my goddamn Bison socks during games.
In all seriousness, it is sort of uncanny. My socks, like Chapo's vigilant douchbaggery over matters such as Superman Zeb or Bison to FBS or his calling out "weak" or "uncommitted" players in the Sproles thread, are clearly responsible for the success that Bison Football has had over the years. Before you mock me for suggesting this, please consider the following:
1.) From 1995-2002: I sadly mostly lost track of the program. I wasn't living anywhere near Fargo and at that time, my only way to keep track of the team was to subscribe to the Sunday Forum fishwrap, which wouldn't arrive until 3 or 4 days later. Given the nature of the fishwrap, I'm sure that you can understand my difficulty in really understanding what was going on with the team. I also didn’t yet own Bison socks. Also during this time, el Chapo hadn't yet mastered his craft, focusing instead on his semi-pro baseball career and vacationing in places where bitches be raining.
While not terrible, I consider these years a dark time in Bison Football.
2.) Around 2003, I purchased the socks. After the announcement of the transition to DI, I realized that the only Bison gear that I owned had somehow shrunken really bad and was all super tight. I bought a jersey, a couple of sweatshirts and long T's, and the now important socks. I wasn't aware yet about the power of the socks so I have limited documentation of the games that were lost because of my shortsightedness between 2003 and 2010. I believe it was early in the 2008 season when I lost them right before the Wyoming game. Note that during this time, Chapo - while still full of himself - was primarily focused on the aforementioned raining bitches and reminiscing about his former baseball career. It wasn't until 2007 that we began hearing from him about a translucent (almost clear) young fellow sitting on the bench backing up old Stevie, wearing #18 that was going to transform FCS football as we all knew it. It was during this time that Chapo began to really hone his iniquitous skills.
3.) December 3rd, 2010: Bozeman, Montana. I met an old roommate of mine from Churchill Hall and a variety of notorious houses in Fargo from the late 80’s/early 90’s. To this day, he’s the main guy that I coordinate with when in Fargo and Frisco. We met at a restaurant in the early evening. He had just driven from a worksite that he had in Butte. I had just driven from Portland. We both needed a drink. It was a raucous party atmosphere that night so when he handed me the #16 jersey and the replacement socks I had asked him to bring from Scheels, I didn’t recognize the gravity of the moment. Later that night, I met Chapo for the first time. With confidence and clarity, he told me how shit was going to go down during the game the next day. His faith in a huge day by Jose dropping dimes all over the field was matched only by his hope that Bohl would finally give up on McNorton at running back and feed Voigtlander and Mike Sigers the rock, assuming that they needed to run the ball at all. For me, this is when the Chapo legend began.
4.) December 4th, I wore the socks. They are yellow and have a green bison on the calf. They go to just below my knees. They are warm, which is why I wore them on that particular day.
5.) December 11th, I forgot the socks in Portland and didn’t have them on during the game.
6.) December 12th, 2010 to mid-afternoon on September 3rd, 2011: After the game in Cheney, I ruminated on what had happened. It seemed like luck just wasn’t on our side during that game. The team itself had played well but through seemingly supernatural forces still ended up losing the game in dramatic fashion. After a few nights listening to Bison MBB games over the web, I began to recognize a pattern. When I had the socks on, we had a better chance of winning. It wasn’t in full force yet, mainly because Trayvonn Wright could only vertical jump 5’-2” at the time, not the amount that he eventually would achieve. Unfortunately, (and I’m ashamed to admit) I used that BB season as an experiment of sorts, wearing the socks for some games and not doing so for other games. How else can you explain that a team that had Braun, Coleman, Tveidt, Wright, and Bjorklund went 14-15 on the season? Please accept my humble apologies for that. Anyway, I decided to give the socks a chance, to commit to their power when football season began the following fall. It was also during this off-season that Chapo’s belief that we should find a way for Marcus Williams to play 2 positions simultaneously on every single play of the game began to be a thing.
From that point forward, Bison Football has had unprecedented success. The nonsensical drivel from Lake Chapo has been a constant. Also, I’ve worn the socks with only a few occasional mis-steps:
A) November 12, 2011: I missed the game due to my son’s soccer game. The message from the football gods was clear that day: “Praise Bison Football and fuck soccer.”
B) January 10, 2015: In my morning fog after a long night at The Lodge in Dallas, I forgot to wear the socks to the game. I didn’t even recognize it until one Mr. Roberson made Kyle Emmanuel look a little foolish on a quarterback keeper. Thank goodness for mythology of Legendowski for saving the day from my lack of focus.
C) October 17, 2015: I didn’t even remotely consider this game as a potential loss. The football gods message this day was clear: “Even Bison fans need to remain focused and not look ahead to more challenging games.”
D) February 27, 2021: I’m so sorry.
There have been a few other losses out there but I can only attribute them to either the football gods picking on another Bison fan or Tony’s ban of Lake Chapo.
So, next time you bitch at Lakes for his constant blathering about…whatever... please remember that the team is depending on him to be a dipshit. They need his ridicule of certain players and his blind love of others. The program needs his focus on bigger and better things such as FBS and star system recruiting.
And they need my socks.