I don't think the civil disobedience started by TAB and CyPanth last week is quite over yet. This note was just slipped under the door of the Thunderstruck Makers bunker.
It looks like we've got a lot of work to do before tailgating season starts this fall. I'm not sure that we'll be able to finalize the AC/DC appearance with all this going on.
The Peaceful Demands of General Admission (GA) Tailgaters in Fargo
1. That so-called "big shot" sexy Thunderstruck Makers Head Honcho Bison Loaf publicly call for the arrests of all those individuals responsible for implementing a Reserved Tailgating Priority System that has proven to dash the hopes and dreams of all General Admission tailgaters everywhere ... .... or we burn Thunderstruck Makers to the ground.
2. The creation of a ThM Tailgating Oversight Board with a majority of GA tailgaters and NO ThM lackies, flunkies or toadies on that board ................. or we burn the newly created Board to the ground.
3. The unfettered and unlimited ability of GA Tailgaters to get 50-yard line football tickets and primo pre-game tailgating spots out in the West Lot at anytime they so choose ................... or we burn the West Lot to the ground.
4. The immediate reduction of the 5-mile long, 3-day in advance general admission tailgating lineup into a smaller, more welcoming and non-hostile line-up of peace and love ....................... or all cars waiting in that line get burned to the ground.
5. The immediate addition of 500 more port-a-potties that are specifically designated for GA tailgaters and not to be used by Reserved tailgaters ever ............................ or we burn ALL port-a-potties to the ground.
6. That there be free and unlimited supplies of Thunderstruck Tequila, ThM drink cups, and ThM drink umbrellas for GA Tailgaters ............... or we burn all cases and quantities of booze, including our own, to the ground.
7. That twangy country music, icky mullets, ridiculously long key chains, and oversized back-pocket billfolds are allowed to be used in the reserved tailgating lots .................... or we burn our wallets, and all the cash in them, to the ground.
8. That GA Tailgaters be allowed to stop at any reserved tailgating spot without being frisked for firearms or having to wait to be positively indentified .................... or we burn our guns and ID's to the ground.
9. That all GA Tailgaters are allowed to be in the reserved lot without bras, even the disgusting low hangers .......................... or we burn our bras to the ground.
10. That firepits be immediately implemented in the West Lot (we do like fires) stocked with ample wood, and, of course, graham crackers, chocolate, marshmellows and hot dogs .............. or we burn the firepits to the ground.
Those are are our very reasonable and peaceful demands. You have 30 days to reply or we start burning random stuff to the ground.
Signed,
The "Committee"
Dunno but, burning the West Lot to the ground seems like a bit of an empty threat to me. Maybe thats just me though.
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Don't believe everything you think.
This ^^^^^ is exactly why I'm paid the big bucks around here.
That concrete has become worn and porous over time, with alot . and I do mean ALOT .. of highly-flammable and now-vaporized liquor spilled and soaked into it over the years. (Indeed, an alarmingly high percentage of that very spillage is roadwarrior's alone!)
So, it would not surprise me in the least if that thing eventually went up in flames like dried kindling. Hell, the very thought of it has kept me up at night even BEFORE these GA demands!
Well thats just tragic. Perhaps not ALL of the liquor so callously treated over the years has in fact evaporated. Perhaps some has infused the concrete. What special terroir might be imparted with that interaction. A reclamation might be warranted. What is the aging timeframe for alcohol/concrete?
Youre right! Burning that to the ground is no empty threat! This cannot stand. Carry on Supreme Loaf Sir!
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Don't believe everything you think.
I pledge to you that if "The Committee" manages to burn the West Lot to the ground, then ……... as God is my witness ……….. we'll get Nickelback in here the very next tailgate to sing "Burn It To The Ground"!!
Why, you ask, would you do that? Because. We. Can. We're Thunderstruck Makers! We Don't Eff Around With Tailgating!TM
In the meantime, while we're on the subject of Nickelback, we have heard your concerns, GA tailgaters, and in the spirit of dιtente we offer this little ode to you, symbolizing peace in our time.
Herd Fan ………………………………………….
I'm through with standing in line
To tailgate this year
It's like they make up these rules
Just to drink a damn beer
No I ain't got no priority
And that just how it's gonna be
(Tell me what you want)
I want a four car spot
where I just pay a sawbuck
For a tent and a grill and to park my truck
And enough damn booze to last
all day for you and me
(So what do you need)
I'll need a big bar tab that's got no limit
And a will call packet with some tickets in it
And some big juicy steaks that sizzle
as their singing to me
(been there, done that)
I want a new wrapped bus full of Bison stickers
That sits in the middle of some heavy hitters
Somewhere between Loaf and TAB
will be just fine for me
(So how you gonna do it)
I'm gonna kiss some butt till my lips are chapped
I'd even get a tattoo on my big fat ass .................
(Chorus - altogether now! One....two...three..... four..)
Cause we all just wanna be big Herd Fans
Live out in the West Lot just outside those stands
While we wait for the win that's about to be
And we'll all stay happy as we drink and eat
And we'll hang out there with the coolest friends
While this run of titles seems to never end
Every gap-toothed faker's gonna wind up there
Every Brookings Bunny gonna say it ain't fair
Hey, hey ... I wanna be a Herd Fan
Hey, hey ... I wanna be a Herd Fan
I wanna come in Friday without all the hassles
We'll police ourselves and kick out the assholes
Drink a "couple" cold ones
and chill out and relax till three
(I'll have an Old Mill, ha, ha)
Then we'll get up early still a little pickled
Dressed in Green and Golds
That are slightly wrinkled
Gonna down a Bloody Mary
And then I'll be all ready, you'll see
We're gonna fire things up, wave a Bison flag
Leave our best girl home if she's gonna nag
Don't make a bit of difference
If it's warm or less than zero degrees
(been there, done that)
We'll get a pony keg that we be tappin'
It against the rules, but dude let it happen
I mean, what the hell's the difference
Keg beer's still just beer to me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna kiss some butt till my lips are chapped
I'd even get a tattoo on my big fat ass .......................
(Here we go .............. big finish now)
Cause we all just wanna be big Herd Fans
Live out in the West Lot just outside those stands
While we wait for the win that's about to be
And we'll all stay happy as we drink and eat
And we'll hang out there with the coolest friends
While this run of titles seems to never end
Every gap-toothed faker's gonna wind up there
Every Brookings Bunny gonna say it ain't fair
And we'll spend all day telling stupid jokes
In a potty line with a lot of nice folks
Who don't give a damn just what color you wear
They'll still shake your hand and be glad you're there
When the day is done and the game is on
We're gonna blow a lung when it comes third down
Every mover and shaker will be on their feet
If you ain't been here you're in for a treat
Cause we all just wanna be big Herd Fans
Live out in the West Lot just outside those stands
While we wait for the win that's about to be
And we'll all stay happy as we drink and eat
And we'll hang out there with the coolest friends
While this run of titles seems to never end
Every gap-toothed faker's gonna wind up there
Every Brookings Bunny gonna say it ain't fair
Hey, hey ... I wanna be a Herd Fan
Hey, HEY ... I wanna be a Herd Fan
Last edited by Bison Loaf; 06-11-2020 at 04:09 PM.
Now you reference Nickleback in an AC/DC thread?!?! Nickleback?!?! You have gone too far now.
Notorious--Bisonville all-time POTY
Proud member of TOHBTC[/B]