We're sorry to have to announce this
(thanks for forcing our hand, FargoDome! ) and it certainly is a sign of the times that we live in, but unfortunately, and beginning immediately,
Thunderstruck Makers will be implementing security search procedures for access into our mondo popular Tailgaiting Hospitality Tent (& Mobile Massage Parlor), and for ALL of the great ThM sponsored activities that we so graciously host out in the Thunder Tundra Tailgating Lots each season, including the "sure-to-be-coming-soon-this-time, dammit" AC/DC Meet 'n Greet Extravaganza.
Here are the new rules for security entry ........... so no whining, no bitching, no exceptions, and especially, no calling us ever about how totally unfair this bastard is!
Security Level 1: Well-heeled Reserved Tailgaters that are fully paid-up ThM Members and have over 500 ThM priority points ............... will be allowed to pass through all jack-boot security thugs, the high-voltage metal detection systems and the degrading full body cavity searches with no questions asked what-so-ever. They will also be supplied with a free starter cocktail (including a custom ThM drink umbrella) and a full length, luxurious satin robe (underpants are totally optional at this point) complete with concealed and sequined Thunderstruck Tequila bottle holster (bottle purchases must be made from ThM, however).
Security Level 2: Reserved Tailgaters that are ThM Members and at least semi-caught up with their overly aggregious dues payments, and who also have more than zero ThM Priority Points but less than 500 points ................. will need to go through the high voltage metal detectors (but we'll provide the rubber-lined helmets to protect their brains), suffer a slight but potentially exhilerating full-body pat down (and CAN choose their own fantasy male or female patter-downer), sing a quick stanza of AC/DC's "Love At First Feel", and sign a liability waiver vouching to their own mental stability when exposed to huge classic rock stars like AC/DC (and, for that matter, popular ThM Honchos themselves) while under the influence of large quantities of alcohol.
Security Level 3: Reserved Tailgaters that are ThM Members and have zero or negative Priority Points, or other Reserved Tailgaters that are not ThM Members at all (WTF!) ................. will need to fill out a 10-page security clearance application, be prodded under duress through the high-voltage metal detectors in their underwear (but at least we'll have AC/DC's classic song "High Voltage" cranked up and playing as they do so), receive a lengthy full-body groping search from a homely and irritated member of the same sex that will likely leave marks for a few weeks, and, if they're still around after all that, pay tribute to us for their prior bad behavior by offering up a $200 entrance fee and an unopened bottle of booze to the nearest ThM Honcho.
Security Level 4: General Admission Tailgaters .................. if they successfully make it through the 5-mile-long, 3-day-in-advance vehicle line-up, they will now need to queue up in the 1,200-foot-long, 2-hour-in-advance single-file entrance line and submit a 20-page security clearance application (with 3 personal references), hand over a $500 non-refundable security deposit, take a buck-naked trip through the high-voltage metal detectors both backward AND forward, endure a nasty 30-minute full body cavity search and water hosing from recently parolled felons, make a quick trip to our on-site barber shop to cut off their icky damn mullets, and sign a notarized promise to never again fail to take advantage of a reserved tailgating opportunity or ThM membership offer if such are ever presented to them in the future.