The Bisonville Playbook: Saving Roehl's Job and the 2021 Season

[Kevin]

Mr. Roehl,

You probably don't remember me. We met once many years ago in passing but you were always my fourth favorite Bison. We're also eskimo brothers since we both tagged ECEH8HE's mom. On the same weekend, which might actually make us eskimo twins idk how that works. Anyway, I've been a huge supporter since before you were running away over and away from Goopher defenders.

I've also been one of your harsher critics here on the forums. I don't mean to be an ass, it's just that like most of our fans I'm a spoiled/entitled shithead who expects the impossible on a weekly basis. However, I'm not one critique and not offer solutions. As such, I am assembling the brightest minds of Bisonville to fill the playbook with shit other than power left, jet sweep right and quarterback dive for one yard.

Here on Bisonville we have some of the brightest minds in football. We have PL, who played on the 1936 championship team. We have CAS, who may or may not be in Guantanamo Bay currently, that guys got some rings too. We have TAB who... well, he's TAB.

And we have me. Your new secret weapon.

As such, I've designed a few plays to turn this season around. Starting with one I call the War Horse, this is a QP designed missile to destroy the enemy in their base.

It starts here, in the Delta formation:



Here we have QP running the ship. To his right is big boy Hunter Luepke. To his left, The Dominator. Behind him is the shifty as hell Jalen Bussey.

Flanked out wide is Christian Watson. Phoenix Sproles is line up to the right but you can't see him. He's invisible, much like on gameday. But I assure you he's there.




As you see here, the ball has been pitched back to Bussey who has gone down and to the right. The linebackers are on this like lakes on a new recruit because they're thinking "Fucking Roehl, so predictable. We got this." but wait, Christian Watson who was in motion lays the wood to the bitch coming off the edge. Sneakily a few of our badass lineman have pulled left along with... who's that? That's right. QP sneakin' into the flat with them. Bussey being a midget comes in handy here, the defense never sees him throw it back across the field because Hunter is in front of him.




Next we see the culmination of offensive genius. The entire defense bit hard to our right. Except the corner who got straight up fucking murked by our boy Dom. Seriously, after this play they have to get the cart on the field. We all feel bad about it for a bit.

Everyone on the right is confused. Our guys are actually laughing in their faces as the dumb as fuck defense is like my dog when I pump fake with the tennis ball: "Where's the ball? Where's the ball? WHERESTHEBALL???"

Meanwhile QP is lumbering down the field for an easy TD with a lineman escorting him and wondering why he isn't as fast as he seemed in that fucking VT tape.

Boom, six points Mr. Roehl. 8 if you run the 2 point conversion I'll draw up after I make some bank on these UFC fights.

Don't worry, we got this.

[56BISON73]

Mr. Roehl,

You probably don't remember me. We met once many years ago in passing but you were always my fourth favorite Bison. We're also eskimo brothers since we both tagged ECEH8HE's mom. On the same weekend, which might actually make us eskimo twins idk how that works. Anyway, I've been a huge supporter since before you were running away over and away from Goopher defenders.

I've also been one of your harsher critics here on the forums. I don't mean to be an ass, it's just that like most of our fans I'm a spoiled/entitled shithead who expects the impossible on a weekly basis. However, I'm not one critique and not offer solutions. As such, I am assembling the brightest minds of Bisonville to fill the playbook with shit other than power left, jet sweep right and quarterback dive for one yard.

Here on Bisonville we have some of the brightest minds in football. We have PL, who played on the 1936 championship team. We have CAS, who may or may not be in Guantanamo Bay currently, that guys got some rings too. We have TAB who... well, he's TAB.

And we have me. Your new secret weapon.

As such, I've designed a few plays to turn this season around. Starting with one I call the War Horse, this is a QP designed missile to destroy the enemy in their base.

It starts here, in the Delta formation:



Here we have QP running the ship. To his right is big boy Hunter Luepke. To his left, The Dominator. Behind him is the shifty as hell Jalen Bussey.

Flanked out wide is Christian Watson. Phoenix Sproles is line up to the right but you can't see him. He's invisible, much like on gameday. But I assure you he's there.




As you see here, the ball has been pitched back to Bussey who has gone down and to the right. The linebackers are on this like lakes on a new recruit because they're thinking "Fucking Roehl, so predictable. We got this." but wait, Christian Watson who was in motion lays the wood to the bitch coming off the edge. Sneakily a few of our badass lineman have pulled left along with... who's that? That's right. QP sneakin' into the flat with them. Bussey being a midget comes in handy here, the defense never sees him throw it back across the field because Hunter is in front of him.




Next we see the culmination of offensive genius. The entire defense bit hard to our right. Except the corner who got straight up fucking murked by our boy Dom. Seriously, after this play they have to get the cart on the field. We all feel bad about it for a bit.

Everyone on the right is confused. Our guys are actually laughing in their faces as the dumb as fuck defense is like my dog when I pump fake with the tennis ball: "Where's the ball? Where's the ball? WHERESTHEBALL???"

Meanwhile QP is lumbering down the field for an easy TD with a lineman escorting him and wondering why he isn't as fast as he seemed in that fucking VT tape.

Boom, six points Mr. Roehl. 8 if you run the 2 point conversion I'll draw up after I make some bank on these UFC fights.

Don't worry, we got this.

[SafeTeeJ]

Mr. Roehl,

You probably don't remember me. We met once many years ago in passing but you were always my fourth favorite Bison. We're also eskimo brothers since we both tagged ECEH8HE's mom. On the same weekend, which might actually make us eskimo twins idk how that works. Anyway, I've been a huge supporter since before you were running away over and away from Goopher defenders.

I've also been one of your harsher critics here on the forums. I don't mean to be an ass, it's just that like most of our fans I'm a spoiled/entitled shithead who expects the impossible on a weekly basis. However, I'm not one critique and not offer solutions. As such, I am assembling the brightest minds of Bisonville to fill the playbook with shit other than power left, jet sweep right and quarterback dive for one yard.

Here on Bisonville we have some of the brightest minds in football. We have PL, who played on the 1936 championship team. We have CAS, who may or may not be in Guantanamo Bay currently, that guys got some rings too. We have TAB who... well, he's TAB.

And we have me. Your new secret weapon.

As such, I've designed a few plays to turn this season around. Starting with one I call the War Horse, this is a QP designed missile to destroy the enemy in their base.

It starts here, in the Delta formation:



Here we have QP running the ship. To his right is big boy Hunter Luepke. To his left, The Dominator. Behind him is the shifty as hell Jalen Bussey.

Flanked out wide is Christian Watson. Phoenix Sproles is line up to the right but you can't see him. He's invisible, much like on gameday. But I assure you he's there.




As you see here, the ball has been pitched back to Bussey who has gone down and to the right. The linebackers are on this like lakes on a new recruit because they're thinking "Fucking Roehl, so predictable. We got this." but wait, Christian Watson who was in motion lays the wood to the bitch coming off the edge. Sneakily a few of our badass lineman have pulled left along with... who's that? That's right. QP sneakin' into the flat with them. Bussey being a midget comes in handy here, the defense never sees him throw it back across the field because Hunter is in front of him.




Next we see the culmination of offensive genius. The entire defense bit hard to our right. Except the corner who got straight up fucking murked by our boy Dom. Seriously, after this play they have to get the cart on the field. We all feel bad about it for a bit.

Everyone on the right is confused. Our guys are actually laughing in their faces as the dumb as fuck defense is like my dog when I pump fake with the tennis ball: "Where's the ball? Where's the ball? WHERESTHEBALL???"

Meanwhile QP is lumbering down the field for an easy TD with a lineman escorting him and wondering why he isn't as fast as he seemed in that fucking VT tape.

Boom, six points Mr. Roehl. 8 if you run the 2 point conversion I'll draw up after I make some bank on these UFC fights.

Don't worry, we got this.

That Fucks! Well done!

[CAS4127]

That Fucks! Well done!

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

[Kevin]

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

No its a war horse.

[SafeTeeJ]

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

Not the actual play. I’m just mesmerized at the pretty dots and thingys

[Kevin]

Alright bros we got the next installment in our championship playbook.

I was looking over the depth chart and I was shocked to see that we have 29 tight ends on the roster. That's not a type-o, nor an exaggeration. There are twenty nine people in that position room. Crazy.

Anyway I figured how can we get them involved so I was like fuck it, we're gonna run a beef package. I call this play.... Roll Herd:





I know what you're thinking. "Is that.... tight ends tripp'd up on the right and stacked on the left?" Damn straight it is.

That's five of the 29 tight ends on the field at one time. That's 5.8% of them out there together, rolling fools. Look at that piece of shit defense lined up in a 3-4. That's given us fits in the past right? Not anymore. They're about to get herd rolled.

Safeties creepin' up because they're like "Ok they got that hulk of a QB who likes to run just not physically enough for Bisonville... they got roughly 4800 pounds of linemen and tight ends out there.. this has to be a draw."

But it's not.



It's five fucking go routes.

All ending in the same place.

6 more points, Roehl. If you have the balls.

[CAS4127]

Not the actual play. I’m just mesmerized at the pretty dots and thingys

It’s a set up for blocks in the back and hitting what are now called “indefensible players”.

[Kevin]

It’s a set up for blocks in the back and hitting what are now called “indefensible players”.

Listen bro if you want to draw up some plays we're all ears.

Maybe you can use the pro set. Those zoomers will have no idea wtf it is.

[GreenfieldBison]

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

C’mon man, he got it from a Reddit forum.

It was probably drawn up by magic pussy or whatever that guy calls himself.


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