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Thread: Hagerott has Resigned

  1. #1
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    Default Hagerott has Resigned

    ---Breaking---

    NDUS Chancellor Mark Hagerott is resigning effective 5 PM today, Friday, July 22nd.

    "After fully reviewing the NDUS, I have realized that being paid nearly $400,000 a year as chancellor is a scam being perpetrated on the North Dakota taxpayer," said Hagerott.

    "Literally anyone can do my job. It doesn't make sense for me to be paid such a large amount to do it," remarked the Chancellor who has been in the position a little over a year.

    He went on to add, "I'm all but convinced that given the strength of the organization and its 11 universities, anyone, and I mean anyone, can do this job."

    Hagerott shared a list of three individuals he hopes to apply for the job: Kathy Neset, current chair of the State Board of Higher Education; Bob Skarphol legislator, and higher education critic and micromanager extraordinaire; and Larry (last name omitted), afternoon and weeknight attendent, Gold Coin Carwash.

    The only one of the three available for comment was Larry who stated that he Hadn't really thought about it. "Not sure I'm interested, I'd like a bit of a challenge if I take a new job. From my what I've heard, you're basically cog. With carwashing there is always something new - a tough stain, a bunch of ground in mosquitoes on the grill. Keeps me on my toes."

    While he wants to keep his options open, Hagerott stated that he looks forward to starting a book on US military sayings that has the working title "You Got to Be in It to Win It: How to Mask Your Inadequate Leadership Abilities by Using Military Sayings and Annoyingly Referencing your Service in Uniform."

    The position may be difficult to fill given North Dakota's traditionally low unemployment.

    Another barrier is open records laws that makes all applicant names public. "What!?!," said Larry upon learning of the law. "No way I'm upsetting Mr. Sampson (Gold Coin Afternoon Assistant Manager). He's pretty sensitive about commitment and has spent a lot of time teaching me how to do this right. He treats me well and is actually a very good leader."

    "He lets me do my job and is flexible with my schedule as I finish my Master's degree. He's never gone on ragging about chickenshit like I heard they now do over in the University System." Larry explained that chickenshit is a term used to describe focusing on petty insignificant issues, a definition he during his two tours in Iraq with the North Dakota National Guard.



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    Last edited by Bison bison; 07-22-2016 at 08:47 PM.
    Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."
    Scrooge-"Are there no prisons?". "Plenty of prisons..."
    Scrooge-"And the Union workhouses." . "Are they still in operation?". "Both very busy, sir..."
    "Those who are badly off must go there."
    "Many can't go there; and many would rather die."
    Scrooge- "If they would rather die," "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    Some quotes on chickenshit:

    http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/chickenshit


    “Chickenshit is so called - instead of horse- or bull- or elephant shit - because it is small-minded and ignoble and takes the trivial seriously.”
    Stephen E. Ambrose, Band of Brothers: E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne from Normandy to Hitler's Eagle's Nest

    tags: chickenshit, petty, small-mindedness
    10 likes


    Like


    “Chickenshit can be recognized instantly because it never has anything to do with winning the war.”
    Paul Fussell, Wartime: Understanding and Behavior in the Second World War

    tags: chickenshit, military, pettiness, war
    4 likes


    Like


    “Chickenshit refers to behavior that makes military life worse than it need be: petty harassment of the weak by the strong; open scrimmage for power and authority and prestige; sadism thinly disguised as necessary discipline; a constant 'paying off of old scores'; and insistence on the letter rather than the spirit of ordinances.”
    Paul Fussell, Wartime: Understanding and Behavior in the Second World War

    tags: chickenshit, letter-of-law, military-philosophy, petty-mind-mocks
    3 likes


    Like




    “Chickenshit is so called - instead of horse- or bull- or elephant shit - because it is small-minded and ignoble and takes the trivial seriously.”
    Stephen E. Ambrose, Band of Brothers: E Company, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne from Normandy to Hitler's Eagle's Nest

    tags: chickenshit, petty, small-mindedness
    10 likes


    Like


    “Chickenshit can be recognized instantly because it never has anything to do with winning the war.”
    Paul Fussell, Wartime: Understanding and Behavior in the Second World War

    tags: chickenshit, military, pettiness, war
    4 likes


    Like


    “Chickenshit refers to behavior that makes military life worse than it need be: petty harassment of the weak by the strong; open scrimmage for power and authority and prestige; sadism thinly disguised as necessary discipline; a constant 'paying off of old scores'; and insistence on the letter rather than the spirit of ordinances.”
    Paul Fussell, Wartime: Understanding and Behavior in the Second World War

    tags: chickenshit, letter-of-law, military-philosophy, petty-mind-mocks
    3 likes


    Like


    Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir."
    Scrooge-"Are there no prisons?". "Plenty of prisons..."
    Scrooge-"And the Union workhouses." . "Are they still in operation?". "Both very busy, sir..."
    "Those who are badly off must go there."
    "Many can't go there; and many would rather die."
    Scrooge- "If they would rather die," "they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    Who can fire Hagerott?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    Quote Originally Posted by Son of a Bison View Post
    Who can fire Hagerott?
    Joe Chapman?

    533 In a row

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    dangit some clickbait ya got the ndb2
    NDSU TO FBS. HAVEN'T WE WON ENOUGH?

  6. #6
    NDSUBowler's Avatar
    NDSUBowler is online now Senior Member Gets their mail at the West Parking Lot
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    I've never been more disappointed after opening a thread that I was after opening this.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    First the Turf. Now this isnt real.
    I cried.
    I like to surround myself with people who share in my inappropriate comments, sarcasm, and random shenanigans

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    I laughed.....that Larry.
    Hail the BISON!!!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    NDSU is awarded a $325,571 grant, so according to SBoHE we need to work with UN_ on stuff. So how much to they get???? Better be F'ing nothing.
    "Sometimes a concept is baffling not because it is profound but because it is wrong" E. O. Wilson

    "I'm not crazy my mother had me tested". Sheldon Cooper

    My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick, mainly because his name is Steven.

  10. #10
    BisonBacker is offline Senior Member Gets their mail at the West Parking Lot
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    Default Re: Hagerott has Resigned

    That worthless milktoast was at the Game as a guest of Brescani. God that has to be tough for Brescani to have to sit there with that idiot and make nice to him. Buffoon does nothing for Brescani and NDSU but comes to the games as a guest of the president he and his cronies have continually hung an axe over. Brescani ought to get an award for having to host that jackass in the suite at the playoff games.

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