“On the Epic Companies hotline, it’s John in West Fargo!, welcome back on John, have a question that you could simply look up yourself but would rather call in and ask 5 of the same question in a row?”
“Yeah, Andy, you look dapper as ever! Man, would I like to get a piece of that! So I actually have 7 questions. First, how long have the Bison played at NDSU? Two, did they always spell it with an “S”, or was there actually a “Z” at one point?, Thirdly, why is it called “gold” and not “maize” for our colors? Four, the Gold Star Marching Band, have they always played football games or were they ever a volleyball band as well? I’m making soup tonight, I call it “knoephla”, but my wife’s coworker calls it “dumpling”, I’d be curious from your fantastic expertise which you call it? 6th is have you ever had to spell knoephla in a spelling bee? And last question I have is more of a statement than a question, but man your undies smell great! Would you ever mind sending me a dirty pair? Thanks for letting me on for the 3rd time today, I’ll hang up listen, until I call you back shortly.”
“Hey thanks John! THE CHECK IS IN THE MAIL! Have we used that enough yet? Get it? Cuz John called in, complimented us, I’ll explain the joke here then respond. So yes, I think those are incredibly intuitive questions, and it just goes to show you how beyond intelligent this fanbase is. And speaking of intelligent, I recently gave our co host some insight on how football is played cuz I know better than most. Now, let’s move to our next segment where I give you my opinion on fantasy basketball.”