"You should host seminars on how to behave on opposing fan forums. Charge a pretty penny toward that Bison tailgating rig. " from Milkman 1/6/2016
Dear Thunderstruck Makers,
Back in town for a very short while in order to take care of a few outstanding parking tickets and a couple of surprise paternity suits, and ....... against my better judgement ...... I wander on over here to see how everything is going in my hard-working absence. And I by no means am proud to say this, people .......... but what I saw literally made me shat in my pants, and the clean-up is hideous and on-going!
There's no news about AC/DC, no bloody civil war for future ThM leadership, no fleecing of membership to donate (of course, alligator arms to the billfold is nothing new to anybody in this crowd), no double entendres, no sticking it to the powers-that-be, no bullying of general admission tailgaters, no booze worship, no mysogynistic opinions, no Manilow-bashing, and NO ...... My God, I think I'm gonna hurl! ........ NO AC/DC music to get you through another meaningless off-season day!
My dear, dear people (of course, I'm talking metaphorically now), you have to somehow move on without me. Yes, it will be tough, damn near impossible really, but the fact is, I am leaving you in my wake and moving on (as it was obviously destined to be) to bigger, greener, more succulent Power-5 pastures. Read my lips ....... It's gonna happen. Just like when I said a Live AC/DC Intro appearance in Fargo was gonna happen, you can take my big-time P5 position to the bank. It's gonna happen. Just need to dot a couple of I's and cross a couple of T's and then I'm outta here. Oh sure, I may pop in from time to time on other threads (we have something called "the internet" now), but for the most part, my work is done here. I know, I know it hurts. But even if I wanted to stay and devote all my time, talents, skills and energy to you wonderful, loyal friends and constituents here on BV (believe me, I don't), I'm afraid I've already caught a glimpse of the full spectacularity of Power-5 pom-poms ...... and there can be no turning back for me now.
"But what happened Loaf? We were so happy together." Well, as it so happens, I met a girl (yes, another one, dammit!) while going through the metal detectors during the semi-final playoff game in December, and she did not want to live in my Mom's basement, so ....... here we are, living the Big-12 dream for as long as it takes for her to catch on to my tired act. I even wrote a song about it, and if there was ever a group of dolts that needed a little off-season shot in the arm of some classic Bon Scott-sung AC/DC music, it's you guys. (see below)
Fare-thee-well, dear Thunderstruck Makers, and live purple always.
Peace and Out,
Loaf
FORMER Thunderstruck Makers Lifetime Super Executive Primo Honcho and All-Around Swell Guy
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll ………
Well, I left my tailgate late again
Tossing back some quick ones with Herd friends
But when I reached the Dome I could not see
How I could make "The Intro" AND go pee
But then a lady screener waived my up
And said "Come on up here sweet buttercup"...... so I cruised by
the line's outcry!
High voltage line loophole
Gotta love when ladies take control
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll
Well she asked me why it took so long
And then she noticed my booze breath smelled strong
And so she asked me for my contraband
"Well do you mean this one last drink in hand?"
And then she wants to frisk me for a flask
"Hey baby, all you gotta do is ask!" ...... cuz I'm so shy
and that's not my thigh!
High voltage booze control
Never know when love is gonna roll
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll
Then she asked me why I like to drink ........... (is that a trick question?)
And then she winked and zapped me as I think
And then she made me stop and drop my pants
Good Lord! My first detector love romance!
And then she asked me what I'm smiling 'bout
"Well babe you're good with wand in hand no doubt ... not gonna lie"!
Still not my thigh!
This high voltage takes it's toll
But my heart, girl, I think you stole
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll
She asked me to be her life's romance
I say "Before the kickoff?! Not a chance!"
So she said, "Meet me here then at the half......"
".... and we'll quick run away and have some laughs."
And with a little twinkle in her eye
I pried her hand's death grip off of my thigh ....... I pried and pried!
Then ran inside!
High voltage sure seems droll
When your hands, girl, I can't control
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll
Didn't leave the game, the Herd you know
Halftime came and went, and I didn't show
So I didn't expect to see her there
With her wand in hand and blue-gray hair
Insisting that she still check for my flask
I said, "Babe, you don't even have to ask!" ..... now say good-bye!
We gotta fly!
High voltage lifts the soul
For whom the wedding bells may toll
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll
So Loaf finally got canned. It is about time. After he didn't deliver on his promise to put up a wall to keep the GA tailgaters out I was done. He could have at least put up a fence...or caution tape...something.
Notorious--Bisonville all-time POTY
Proud member of TOHBTC[/B]