If only we had a dollar for every time someone said this, AC/DC would have been in here by now!
Believe me, my friend, you'll be back.
This thread keeps you coming back like ... 1) a horrible, gruesome vehicle accident that you just can't look away from, 2) a free ticket to a UND football game that leaves no doubt, 3) a green-bean hotdish on the table at Thanksgiving time, 4) a lame and sagging well-used set of pom-poms that you just know were once quite spectacular in their heyday, 5) a bottle of booze that has some yucky backwash in it, but not enough to stop you from going for the remaining mouthful of alcohol, 6) the bearded lady in a roadside carnival, 7) a tailgate porta-potty that was miraculously empty when you got there, and then you realize why it was, once you got in, 8) a 3-yr-old in freshly washed Bison gear headed for a West Lot mud puddle, 9) an industrial-sized thong running for a Black Friday sale at Walmart, 10) the smell that you must go searching for when your dog passes gas.
Oh yes. You'll be back. You'll most definitely be back.
Ah yes. It's that magical time of year when the playoffs start, our fans put down their knitting inside the Dome, and the West Lot has weeded itself of all the fair-weather wannabees at tailgating! The cosmos has aligned itself once again! It's also that time of year in which everyone has come to expect Thunderstruck Makers to quickly and brilliantly whip up another bastardized AC/DC song for your pre-playoff enjoyment and personal fire-up.
Well dammit, we're not going to be your huckleberry this year, Mr. Angus Young! We are sick and tired of giving you and your band all the free publicity that this world-class organization can muster up, while you sit there twiddling your damn thumbs and refusing to get your bony asses into Fargo for a Live Intro and tailgate Meet 'n Greet! (Wow, that escalated quickly.)
Don't be fooled by our normally polite and refined demeanor around here. There are a lot of other great bands we could easily bring in here with our clout, but our constituency expects the best, and if you don't relent, we'll have to somehow try to convince them why you're NOT the best (okay, that's gonna be damn near impossible, but that's beside the point). Oh sure, moving on to another great band will likely bring down the wrath of hell upon us by our spoiled-brat constituents, but JFC, We're Thunderstruck Makers! As long as we're welcome here in my mom's basement bunker We do WHATEVER the hell we want, WHENEVER the hell we want! ("No, I'm not yelling down here, Mom. Go back to bed!')
Okay, Mr. Gene Simmons, it's your lucky day!
Pound The Rock City... ...
Everything's all right on a Friday night
Got my rig in line and the booze is packed up tight
Bison playoff morn, they're gonna wave me on through
To my West Lot spot, then I'll tell you what I'm gonna do ......
Set up!
Hope somebody brought a little heat
Tear down!
Everybody's gonna leave things neat
It's tailgate time in ....... Pound The Rock City
Set up!
Everybody's gonna drink and eat
Tear down!
Time for everyone to find their seat
It's getting late, tailgate's gotta end
Have to pee again, but that line is not my friend
The Intro's up, but I'm not there yet
God I hope its dark, 'cause my pants are slightly wet .........
Step up!
Everybody's lined up down the hall
Zip down!
Everybody aim and hit your stall
It's pre-game time in .........Pound The Rock City!
Zip up!
Everybody don't waste precious time
Calm down!
We'll make the Intro if we move this line
Deferred the toss, defense stopped 'em cold
Then we throw a pass, what the hell that crap gets old
We gotta pound the rock, it's an easy call
It's what we do, it's called "Run The Effin' Ball" ..........
Line Up!
The game is early and you're full of sass
Knock Down!
You can't talk trash when you're laid on your ass
It's go time now in ........ Pound The Rock City
Man up!
Quit'yer bitching, have you had enough
Stand down!
We thought you guys would be a bit more tough
The Herd's up big, knitting's coming out
And we're drinking milk, means we're gonna win no doubt
It feels so good, we ain't the Mountain West
We might be pud, but at least our pud's the best ........
Get up!
Everybody get up on your feet
Sit down!
These Dippin' Dots are sure a messy treat
It's garbage time in ...... Pound The Rock City
Get up!
Everybody knows "The March Is On"
Sit Down!
That was quick, another victim's gone
In Pound The Rock City!
(One .... more ..... time! ........)
Get out!
All the ushers want you out of here
Don't shout!
It takes some time for that damn lot to clear
It's post-game bitch in ........... Pound The Rock City
Drive safe!
Everybody's at their liquored peak
Rest up!
We want you back here at your best next week
Right here again in .......... in Pound The Rock City
Pound The Rock City!
Ok Loaf it is time to get off your arse and get this done. We need them here when we play to go to Frisco this year. You have 3 weeks. If ACDC is not here live pumping us up for the that game I swear I will find your tailgate, rent the spots next to ya and blast Mariah Carey for the full 5 1/2 hours of the tailgate. Empty threat maybe............ maybe not................... You started this quest February of 2016 it is time to crap or get off the pot or we are all going to be in diapers again before we see get to enjoy this!!!!!!!!
So don't give up so easily like you are doing in your previous post!!!!!
You, my friend, are a good guy, prodigious drinker, and top-notch Bison fan .. but a damn small-timey little thinker. Do you realize that thanks to the now instant classic 'Pound The Rock City', we are negotiating from a position of strength with Angus rather than the position of weakness that has been foisted upon us in the past. Don't get me wrong, KISS is a great band - maybe the greatest American rock band ever - but do you think a man with Angus's ego and iconic rock sensibilities wants to be replaced by a bunch of Yanks in women's makeup that are responsible for the syrupy love ballad 'Beth' and the disco-infused "I Was Made for Loving You"???? My guess is he'll be running into our arms in no time flat after this stunt (but probably not this year yet ).
Just let me do all the dirty work around here and collect my massive paycheck ad nauseum, and you go back to enjoying your nice little tailgates and dreaming of a MWC schedule.
While I'm sitting here wallowing in my own self-pity and self-loathing (or is it "self-Loafing"? ) ……... surrounded by empty bottles of Thunderstruck Tequila, used Kleenex tissues (for my crying eyes, dammit, my eyes!), and multiple TV sets tuned into the Hallmark Channel ………………… somehow trying to get over my extremely hurt feelings from Fanatic's & Fanette's totally uncalled-for and malicious burn in this direction last week ("I'll bring the sound system" (to blare Mariah Carey at the Thunderstruck Makers Hospitality Tent in protest of AC/DC not being inked yet) ……….
I have heroically decided that, despite these unprecedented levels of adversity, we here at ThM should STILL try to get something done this week for our playoff tailgating constituents. (God Bless Us, Everyone!) Therefore, we have summoned up our great team of ne'er-do-wells and spent a solid 5 or 10 minutes going back through our extensive BV archives, in order to round up the links to our previously released 'Back In Smack' issues for your pre-tailgate, pre-game preparation.
We know it's hard to (yawn) fire-up a fan base that is so damned bored with winning all the time, but we're reasonably sure you'll be able to find SOMETHING (yawn) in the list below that can somehow muster up your excitement for another week of (yawn) playoff fun.
Back in Smack by ThM (now available for Christmas on 8-Track Tape Cassettes for only $99.95)
1. Thunder Tundra Struck ……. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...52#post1141852
2. Long Way To The Top If You Wanna Be The Herd …….. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...70#post1175570
3. You Herd Us All Night Long ……. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...83#post1178183
4. Let There Be Thunder ……. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...81#post1214181
5. If You Want Blood (and a loss), You've Got It ……. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...81#post1242881
6. (We're Not) The Jacks ……. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...77#post1274477
7. Loud As Hell Dome Nation ............ http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...91#post1285291
8. Win City ................ http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...50#post1291250
9. West Lot Needs, Not Done Cheap ......... http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...29#post1297529
10. Up To Our Ass With You ............ http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...00#post1305800
11. Pound The Rock City ........... http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...15#post1313415
Lot of things happening on the Big 12 front today.
Started my day with a call into Big12 commissioner bowlsbys office leaving a very pointed voicemail regarding my predictions for Oklahoma in the playoff and chances the Big12 will see another invite in the next 3 years after a predictably poor defensive showing and blowout loss, players crying on the field and what not. Let him know they need to freshen the conference with two new teams and a north division designed to be the defensive big brother to the high flying south with a new stud defensive minded team in the north stable.
Shortly after I received an email thanking me for my interest in Big12 athletics from, you guessed it, Bowlsby! Probably sent from his actual assistant.
Later I get a call from USBank letting me know about a new credit card I am qualified for. I tell the person- you get me a new dome in Fargo and I will get that card!!! Waiting on a call back. USBank, call center in Fargo, ever heard of them sponsoring a dome???
Murmurs on the street that the shake up in the ND university system is creating a scenario where some state schools will be asked to drop sports and funding be redirected. Calls have not been returned yet.
Finally- and sorry to bury the lead here BUT I called to cancel my ESPN plus subscription and offered them a strategic opportunity for ESPN to totally hitch their wagon to the Big12 NDSU rocket ship and the ratings/ad revenues the Big12 and Longhorn networks are sure to capture by bringing in new blood. Its all about the benjamins so that is where I go baby.
The lady I spoke with assured me my message was understood and would be passed along/pressure applied to the Big12. She then gave me 3 weeks of free ESPN+ for not cancelling until February. First concession won.
Surprising news on dippin dot spoons to follow in the coming days.
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