Originally Posted by
Bison Loaf
By the Supreme Executive Lifetime Super Honcho and All-Around Swell Guy of Thunderstruck Makers
A Proclamation.
Hear ye, hear ye. This tailgating season that is drawing towards its close, has once again been filled with the blessings of fruitful liquors, bountiful grills, and curb-stomping victories. To these great bounties, of which most of you damn ingrates are prone to forget the source from which they are naturally provided (Thunderstruck Makers), other perks have been added, which are of so extraordinary in nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the hardened hearts which are habitually insensible to the ever watchful eye (and future retribution there of) of ThM's vengeful management. But I digress.
In the midst of a lot of bitching and sniping of unequalled magnitude and severity, which seems nonsensical to those that wish they could have what you have (Thunderstruck Makers), priority point peace has been mostly preserved, Rock and Roll order has been strictly maintained without the use of deadly force (although we came close one time when a Barry Manilow/Justin Bieber mashup was once heard out in the general admission lot, the filthy animals), tailgating laws that have been so egregiously handed down by The-Powers-That-Be have been reasonably tolerated and tokenly obeyed, and harmony has generally prevailed everywhere within our voluminous membership ranks, except in the theatres of conflict for FBS change, AC/DC Meet 'n Greet access, Minimum Donation standards, and unsolicited Axl Rose opinions.
While these theatres of confilct have been greatly advanced by the unwarranted revolutionary activities of idiotic opinion purveyors within a small sample of fringe membership inside of this great and proud organization, we have steadfastly continued to provide needful diversions of sophomoric humor, moronic and disgusting thought patterns, unceasing levels of disturbing parody, and laser-like adherance to uncompromising principles of power tailgating and power rock. All of this has served to enhance your small little lives in great abundance; even if AC/DC (technically) has not showed their damn faces upon this place in many a long over-due and over-promised time period.
Ye, those of sound mind and right thinking in this organization, rejoicing in the fact that we have not yet succumbed to the pressures of an Axl Rose appearance, are permitted to expect the continuance of these tailgating freedoms, mind-shredding Australian guitar riffs, and reasonably short port-a-potty lines going forward (don't hold us to that last one though). No other human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things for you. They are the gracious gifts of Thunderstruck Makers and Thunderstruck Makers alone, period, exclamation point, facepalm and hashtag. Oh sure, we get so angry with you sometimes that we'd honestly like to slap you silly, kick you in the nut sack, and beat you senseless most days, but that doesn't mean that we don't love you damn people OR love your sporadic monetary gifts that help keep us reasonably inebriated and working hard at looking like we're working hard on your behalf.
I do therefore invite and require all fellow Thunderstruckers in every part of the United Reserved Lots of Thunder Tundra, and also those of our bretheren who we haven't seen in quite some time while they have been engaged in fighting the good fight in terribly long foreign porta-potty lines, and, yes, even those poor souls who have been in the 5-day in advance, 3-mile long general admission tailgating line right here in River City since well before Labor Day; To set apart and observe the last Thursday of every November henceforth, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise for AC/DC (damn, I hope they see this and are impressed by it) and to our beneficent Thunderstruck Makers leaders who dwelleth among us largely against their own free will.
And I recommend to you that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to these great men for such singular deliverances and blessings, that we also ask for humble forgiveness for the collective perverseness and disobedience of those that currently lead you into the dark abyss. Amen.
In testimony whereof, and with certain apologies to one A. Lincoln, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of Thunderstruck Makers to be thus affixed.
Done at the Thunderstruck Makers bunker, City of Fargo, this 19th day of November, in the year of our Loaf two thousand and eighteen, and of the Bison football championship the fifteenth, and seven of the last eight.
By the Supreme Lifetime Super Honcho: Bison Loaf XOXOXO
Delivered and read this day by: I Miss Chubs,
Sargent at Arms
Briefly scanned for legal errors by: Runtheoption, Esq.
of Dubious Counsel
Lunch, booze & entertainment while I was writing this proclamation: TransAmBison,
Court Jester
The first person I noticed cracking a cold one while I was writing this historic document: Roadwarrior,
Keeper of the Cooler
The first person I noticed not doing a damn thing while this was being written: Vet70,
Keeper of the Thunder and Tester of the Spinach Dip
From All Of Us Here At Thunderstruck Makers ..................... We Wish You A Safe, Thankful and Rockin' AC/DC Thanksgiving!!