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Thread: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

  1. #401
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Dammit! This isn't even Thunderstruck, and there's nothing even titillating about it, and the season is almost upon us, and the expectations are sky high, and I don't have time for this crap, and I think I'm actually falling for that girl with the flute, and YES the dog needed to be kicked a few times this week, and NO as-a-matter-of-fact the Axl Rose "thing" is NOT helping one damn bit, and THE HELL if I'm going to be laying down on that leather "nut job" couch over there Mister!!! ................

    ....................but, what IS it with me and certain women holding delicate instruments of pleasure in their hands?! Add a few openly flauntatious pom-poms to this act and I'll be a complete veg by week's end!

    I guess we all have our demons, don't we.



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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by Bison Loaf View Post
    Dammit! This isn't even Thunderstruck, and there's nothing even titillating about it,

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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by Bison Loaf View Post
    Dammit! This isn't even Thunderstruck, and there's nothing even titillating about it, and the season is almost upon us, and the expectations are sky high, and I don't have time for this crap, and I think I'm actually falling for that girl with the flute, and YES the dog needed to be kicked a few times this week, and NO as-a-matter-of-fact the Axl Rose "thing" is NOT helping one damn bit, and THE HELL if I'm going to be laying down on that leather "nut job" couch over there Mister!!! ................

    ....................but, what IS it with me and certain women holding delicate instruments of pleasure in their hands?! Add a few openly flauntatious pom-poms to this act and I'll be a complete veg by week's end!

    I guess we all have our demons, don't we.


    Has she been to band camp?
    Rock

    "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria." --- Benjamin Franklin


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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueBisonRock View Post
    Has she been to band camp?
    You're too late as usual, Rock............she's mine.

    And it feels like the real thing this time. What we have is lovely and special, built on a solid and lasting foundation of iconic AC/DC music and face-melting, ear-shredding band/orchestral instrumentation............ and dammit, a love like this might even take me through the rest of a long, lonely and title-less (need to make sure I've got the spelling right on that ) Bison Football off-season! Don't we ALL deserve at least that much?!

    So take your libidinous intentions and hit the road, bud!



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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Kin dere be any doubt dat vee luff our Poikaz and Valtzez upt ere in da Nort Countree, der den you bet! (Yes, among my many talents, I also speak Norveejan.)

    Thank goodness then we've already got a great Polka act lined up on our outstanding list of emergency backup plans (that most certainly will never be needed) in case AC/DC doesn't show up again. (See the Polka here ............ http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...07#post1166507)

    ....................and now, just before the season starts, and after much consternation, soul-searching and self-doubt (Ha! Just kidding on the self-doubt thing! I don't even know what that is?!) we've got our long lost Waltz act!

    Maybe THIS will get all those tightwad Scandinavians to pony up more of their precious damn kroner, so that we can get to the big time faster! Overall, however, we're less than 3 weeks out and things are starting to fall into place very nicely around here!

    AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long" set to be covered as a waltz.................................... http://ultimateclassicrock.com/mike-...ll-night-long/




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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Dear Thunderstruckers:

    It's getting very close to another great season of Bison tailgating, and, like all timeless and legendary organizations, we here at Thunderstruck Makers make it our daily business to leave nothing that we do, to chance. When we've got a great event "in the works"......... and aren't they all ....... we make sure we've got everything scripted out, right down to the gnat's ass, so that our game day personnel can ensure a anxiety-free, memory-making, donation-inducing experience for all of you under-appreciated and overly-tolerated ThM constituents. And that starts with our valued "Inner Circle" stakeholders right down to our infinitely less important "Outer Square" pud lumpers!

    But, because there STILL seems to be a couple of small & inconsequential, not-to-be-taken-seriously rumblings out THERE, about whether or not we in HERE are actually getting anything done AT ALL for you , ThM has just been itching for a time and a place to rub your snotty little noses in one particular game day event script (see post below) that is all "locked and loaded" for your upcoming tailgating pleasure. We just hope and pray that ....... due to any unforeseen circumstances completely out of our control, and that rightly will have no effect upon our lifetime positions, aggregious salaries, or copay-free benefits........ that we get a chance to use the damn thing!

    Peace,
    Loaf

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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Game Day Tailgating Script - AC/DC style!

    5:00 am - It's finally here! The day we've all been waiting for! Have Bubba the Chauffer pick up "Our Boys" at the airport in the shiny green and gold, bullet-proof helmut car. And make sure he's not late! You'll probably find him over at the NDSU trophy case with a disturbing amount of drool coming out of his mouth.

    6:00 am - In the first of many surprises for beloved ThM constituants (whose accounts, of course, are paid current AND have somehow managed not to annoy the hell out of us this off-season), Angus is scheduled to personally shake the hand of every poor slob in the 5-mile long general admission line............. except TSCF, who, unfortunately, will likely be too busy taking pictures of the impending GA disaster out there. (Ha! Just a little early morning levity for all you hard-working ThM minions today!)

    7:00 am - AC/DC is due at the downtown ESPN Gameday location for sound check. Make sure Samantha Ponder is fully dressed and no where in sight, or NOTHING will ever get done this morning.

    8:00 am - The Band opens up the broadcast of ESPN's Gameday. Controversy is likely to ensue if, after getting a glimpse of the very fetching Ms. Ponder..................all because you guys didn't do your damn job!.............. our boys accidently cut into "What Do You Do For Money Honey" instead of the approved GameDay intro. Dammit people! As awesome as that would be, we can't let this happen! I don't want 'Big and Rich' calling to say "I told you so!".

    9:00 am - Back to the Thunder Tundra tailgating lots for the early morning, pre-performance Meet 'N Greet for reserved entry lottery applicants. (See the application here............http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...33#post1209833) Make sure there is plenty of Thunderstruck Tequila in the staging area, and that our most impressive, eye-popping pom-poms are within emergency viewing and shaking distance of the band.

    9:05 am - Expect an appearance (by cutting in line, of course ) by those milk-drinking eyesores TAB and RTO, thinking they've somehow been "magically" cleared for reserved entry! If not handled correctly, this could get ugly!

    9:10 am - Which reminds me, instruct and verify that our jackboot security vendor is ready and willing to use all force available (and then some) on all unapproved interlopers. Some of these basement-dwelling internet trolls, party-crashing Fawker fans, anybody seen wearing a "Manilow" or "Beiber" T-Shirt, or even our own damn ThM members with delinquent account balances................ are going to be drinking their liquor through a straw faster than you can say "police brutality"!

    9:15 am - Be prepared for an appearance by Dom & Jeff with their FCC lawyers in tow, but DO NOT allow them in, no matter how many times Jeff screams at you that "you are no bleepity-bleepin' Culhane!". Remind them that Bisonville has purchased the exclusive rights to AC/DC press activities (wait, did Tony actually ever step up with the damn checkbook, or did he only promise to?) and then just nod your head politely and sympathetically when Dom starts ranting about being the hardest working man in sports rock "journalism".

    9:30 am - Send a trusted minion to the bank with the first of many illicit graft deposits that were quickly (but politely) strong-armed from the initial batch of reserved entry participants.

    10:00 am - Surprise #2 for ThM paid-in-full Inner Circle Members: for a "small" additional donation to ThM, Angus will give private duckwalk lessons and a few expert mooning tips!

    10:30 am - It's time for the AC/DC Karaoke contest. Be aware that Axl Rose is likely to become upset when he sees the sign.......... "AC/DC Lead Singer Tryouts Today" ........ that we put up instead. (as a joke, of course ) We hear that this "Sweet Child" of ours has NO sense of humor!

    11:00 am - It's time for the ThM-sponsored community tailgate luncheon. In honor of our Aussie guests, everyone is grilling alligator today! (Alligator, Crocodile.....what the hell's the difference!) In fact, we ordered so much alligator that the "alligator guys" that normally cook it in their tailgate........couldn't find any, and are having burgers instead! (.......the boring bastards!)

    11:05 am - Surprise #3 from Angus. Instead of a blessing before we eat (face it, we're ALL heathens on game day), everybody will strap on AC/DC-approved Bison/Devil Horns and Angus will raise a toast to ThM tailgaters while the band does a short rendition of the West Lot (now Thunder Tundra) National Anthem..... "Have a Drink on Me"! Commemorative ThM shot glasses of this historic event will be available for a mere $89.95 plus fees and gratuity.

    11:15 am - Someone needs to make another bank run with illicit graft deposit #2, the amount of which had better damn well be getting larger as these fans get more liquored up! Man, I LOVE these people!!

    11:30 am - This is Gene Taylor's scheduled secret arrival time to meet with Mr. Loaf and beg him to come to Kansas State. It is imperative that membership NOT find out about this! Their despondency could easily become a full-on tragedy with all the sharp knifes unsheathed out there cutting hot alligator.

    12:00 pm - Make sure the small thunderstorm we ordered for this event is in place out in the lot, and ready to crack out an awesome bolt of lighting EXACTLY when Angus cuts into the opening riff of Thunderstruck Perfomance #1! Then..... stand back and protect yourself as these fans go bat-shit crazy!!! Congratulations, my friend! Not only did you just recently get bumped up to 70% of minimum wage, but NOW you work for the most legendary organization in the rockin' free world!

    12:15 pm - Kick all those fun-loving drunks out of the Meet 'n Greet area to prepare for the more exclusive, nose-in-the-air, whine & cheese after-performance Meet 'n Greet that is based on our confusing, yet highly abusing priority point system for moneyed members. Make sure to refill the Thunderstruck Tequila supply. You're gonna need it when you have to hang around these uppity bastards!

    12:30 pm - Praise the Lord! Our good friend TSCF has finally scratched and clawed his way into the lots from the general admission reserved line-up! Congratulate him with a toast of something cheap, but do NOT let him in to see AC/DC without the proper monetary repentance for his prior BV insolence, nor without destroying the incriminating pictures he surely took of this morning's GA line-up disaster. (OMG, I crack myself up sometimes!)

    12:45 pm - Mr. Loaf finishes his secret K-State discussions with Gene Taylor and will now make an appearance in the lots, much to the giddy school-girl excitement of the now uber-hyper and largely inebriated crowd. Expect Axl to get extremely jealous over the ThM Head Honcho's jaw-dropping adulation, and then threaten to quit on the spot. Don't worry, however! When Mr. Loaf himself begins strapping on a guitar and reaching for the microphone, Axl will quickly get his sorry ass back to work!

    1:00 pm - Another graft deposit is likely to be necessary at this time. Mr. Loaf may want to deliver this one "to the bank" himself. When he leaves, you may give him a crisp salute and a small but manly-looking hug, but don't EVER tell him that the bank is in the opposite direction that he now appears to be heading.

    1:45 pm - Make sure AC/DC makes it into the Dome for the Live Game Intro. (That's right - Thunderstruck Performance #2!!) But not before a final ThM surprise from Angus! He will bid a tearful goodbye to ThM tailgaters with a heartfelt and acoustic love-ballad version of Thunder Tundra Struck (see the words here..............http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...52#post1141852). Have plenty of tissues handy, because there won't be a dry eye in the house when the crowd breaks into the "Thank-you Angus (Sioux Suck)" chant!

    2:15 pm - AC/DC rips into a live version of the Thunderstruck Intro while our beloved Bison race onto the field!!! OMG, it's happening!!! It's really happening!! Remember, it's ok to cry, and maybe even wet your pants a little, but dammit, try not to spill a drop of the overflowing flask that you've just successfully snuck into the Dome! That just wouldn't be professional.

    2:30 pm - Yes, AC/DC will do the National Anthem today.....and NEVER has the greatly offending "Home of the BISON" been shouted out so damn LOUD.......nor sounded so damn GOOD!! OMG! We're actually desecrating anthem decorum with an old & decrepit (but mondo-rockin') Australian Band! If that's not America, I don't know what is!

    3:00 pm - Where the hell is Bubba?! "Leave No Doubt", my ass! He can look at those trophies some more later, dammit! Have him quickly warm up the bullet-proof helmut car to get the boys back to the airport for departure. The Bison have put this game away early, as usual, and after long hugs and goodbyes, Angus will almost certainly promise to come back again next year. (Oh dear, here we go again!! )

  8. #408
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Hell's Bells! I've just come up with, quite possibly, my most brilliant idea yet! (although really, how do you truly pick the best out of a bunch of delicious, over-ripe fruit?) So ............ I'm having this really intense dream last night (in color I might add ), and all of a sudden, BOOM, it hits me .......................... we need towels to wave around at tailgating and at games! (Never mind the particulars on just how a "towel" happened to be the main idea that came out of this dream!)

    I tell ya, I almost can't believe someone hasn't thought of this before, but it IS brilliant! It'll make us millions! And it will probably triple our fan base!

    You see, on one side we'll have Bison Football stuff, and on the other we'll have the ThM logo and a catchy saying. Probably one side will be gold with green lettering and the other will be green with gold lettering (but we've got to have a cost study first, and look for endowment funding on that, before I can promise it). Oh sure, a ThM logo and catchy saying is somewhat, in a vague sort of way, similar to our recent T-Shirt contest, I guess (see it here.............. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...10#post1210610), but .......... here's the kicker, people ................ these are towels! Can you dig it?! Towels!! I mean, how can you not see the difference - and the potential - here?!

    Depending on the catchy saying we come up with, and because this is so novel and new of an idea ................... we should be able to sell these bad boys for $100 or so, a pop! Factor in franchising fees and trademarking percentages from NFL stadium sales, College Football and NCAA sales, WWE Super Slam events, PBA Bowling tournaments, and Woman's Pro Beach Volleyball (the lucky towels!) ................... we'll have a bonafide Big-12 stadium, Big-12 invite and AC/DC tailgating appearance in no time at all! (uh....not that the last one isn't damn near consummated anyway).

    Here's where you all come in. I can't do this all by myself (well.......I most certainly could, but why should I, dammit), so we need your help. Put a committee together to come up with the catchy saying that is going to make us millions! If your committee has the eventual chosen catch phrase, you will get a $10 gift certificate to Dippin' Dots (that's $10 big ones to share among your committee, not $10 each -JFC!), and the undying gratitude of a fan base that is long overdue for FBS/P5 membership! No pressure on you at all (but the lost revenue meter IS running)!

    Here are a few purposely BAD examples that we just thought of, to get your minds heading in the exact opposite direction.

    1. The Terrible Towel (just turrible)
    2. The Homer Hanky (pretty hokey)
    3. The Rally Towel (really?)
    4. The 12th Man Towel (pffft)
    5. The Fighting HawkerChief (don't go all hostile and abusive on us now!)


    And a few great ones we've thought of (already!) that may NOT be used (sorry) without the express written permission of our overly-litigious and expensive ThM legal team.

    1. The Thunder Struckus Ruckus Rag
    2. The Drinking Since Dawn Doily
    3. The Bite Me Bubba Blanky
    4. The ThM Tequila Touchdown Toga
    5. The GA 5-Mile Line Blues Blotter
    6. The Snorty Snot-Kickin' Swabby
    7. The Dome Decibel Earbuster Duster
    8. The Loafy Luscious Loincloth & Loofa
    9. The Sucking Sideline Stiginator
    10. The ThM Piss, Moan & Gripe Ass Wipe
    11. The Herd Us All Night Hand Towel
    12. The Third and Long Voodoo Volley
    13. The Gotcha GameDay Grabber
    14. The Pelini Pouting Poultice
    15. The Butt Chili at Tailgating Aroma-Eraser


    Good Luck! (And have a fun and exciting Bison Football and Tailgating Season!!!)

  9. #409
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    ThM Mailbag.........................ThM Mailbag

    In an effort to keep all vital communications between us, here at ThM, and you, our beloved and valued members, as distant and arms-length as possible, we sometimes go to the mailbag to receive and publish your unsolicited and ill-advised feedback. Before we do that, however, we have one of our unpaid interns go through the mail with a metal detector and a bomb-sniffing dog, and sort the good from the bad. Then we mostly concentrate on the "good" bag (well, it's more like a small pouch, really). And even though we are hearing some rumblings about our recently instituted and expanded reserved entry application program for the AC/DC Meet 'n Greet, we think you'll find that the vast majority of what we prod ourselves into reading from you people, is actually heart-warmingly positive! Take a look!


    "Dammit, you bastards at ThM really think you're hot shit! Who are YOU to give and take priority points so freely and uncaringly, like you're some kind of all-powerful deity? I only mentioned ONE TIME that "AC/DC wasn't what they used to be, haven't had a real rocking hit in years, and that maybe Axl Rose will infuse some inspiration and life into their act." And for that I get docked 200 effin' priority points?!! Let me tell you jerks something. I WILL get those priority points back, and I WILL see AC/DC at the Meet 'n Greet! Even if it's the last thing I do in my life as an unincarcerated man, I WILL get my revenge! Hey, how about a request for this song, smart asses - "If You Want Blood, You've Got It"! You guys are gonna bleed.... real soon. I promise."

    T.A.B.
    Fargo, ND


    Whoops, this one belongs in the other pile. It's tough to find good (and fearless) interns these days! And this letter is certainly NOT representative of the other couple of thousand letters in the "bad" pile. On to the GOOD pile, we go!


    "I don't know how you guys do it. You are so darn popular, and people really seem to like you. And you don't even care if they do. I mean, you ream people upside down and inside out, day after day - even adding stupid crap like "twss" to a sentence like this - and they just keep coming back for more! And yet, I too am abusive to my people, and sarcastic, and satirical, and really, really freaking humorous in my own unique and creepy sort of way .............. but they just up and leave on me. In droves. Any advice?"

    Mark F.
    Cedar Falls , IA


    Thanks for the kind words, Mark, but we're going to pass on giving out advice to you. The fact is, we just don't like you very much, and are put off by the way you have artificially pumped yourself up (twss). Have a Great Day!


    "Thank-you so much for coming up with your expanded AC/DC Meet ' Greet reserved entry program! I think it is brilliant! Just brilliant! Unfortunately, it did relegate me and my family to the 5-mile long, 3-day advance general admission line ............ but that's my own damn fault for not getting onboard the AC/DC train forty, or even thirty, short years ago. I'm just fortunate now that you allow me to even step foot in the GA line at all. I'll try to do better with my wasted life going forward. God bless you, ThM!"

    A Teacher's Friend
    Sioux Falls, SD


    Now that's the kind of attitude and self flagellation that we need more of around here! You, sir, are well on the way to correcting your once pitiful and worthless existence. How anyone can NOT be a lifelong AC/DC fan, is beyond our powers of comprehension. We suggest you get an emergency copy of "Powerage" and listen to it for the next 48 hours straight, or until your ears bleed - whichever comes first. And make your Bieber-loving family listen to it until they hurl chunks. In the meantime, we'd like to reward your commendable self-improvement initiative with a couple of hard-to-get reserved tailgating passes for Homecoming .............................oh, wait........... sorry, we just gave those away to somebody that sucked up to us a little better than you just did. Tough break, buddy. Best of luck to you!


    "I'm not sure how anyone could EVER complain about the great work you do at Thunderstruck Makers, but those doing so certainly need to STFU! The simple fact is, we have never been so close to finally getting AC/DC in here to perform a live intro, not to mention the imminent Big-12 invite, and the P5 stadium you've got "in the works". The Meet 'n Greet reserved entry system and expansion was great for me, because I AM a true AC/DC connoisseur, as well as a very good-looking female groupie who likes romantic walks in the park, margarita's at sunset, and pillow fights in the morning. But enough about me. This is all about you and your great compassion and humanity for us fans! Even though I was granted my reserved spot already, it sure would have been nice to get myself closer to the stage. Oh well. Thanks for trying.

    Oh, by the way, do you know where I might purchase skimpy ThM-logoed intimate garments, size DD? This picture may help you in guiding me to the right place. Thanks!"

    Jill B.
    Mounds View, MN


    No really, thank YOU. Unfortunately, we haven't trademarked a ThM "Intimates Collection" as of yet (dammit!), but we'd love to hear more about this and your other great ideas for ThM projects in the future. Here are a couple of hard-to-get reserved tailgating passes for Homecoming, and our double secret "Thunder Phone" phone number that we instruct people, other than yourself, to never call us on.


    "We've got the greatest tailgating atmosphere in all of FCS, and one of the best in all of college football. And you guys are the reason why. At the same time that I am working my ass off trying to limit access, tamp down alcohol usage, screw with the blue collar fan, do the bidding of the powers-that-be, silence any attempt at loud enjoyable music, institute "big brother" type security, and keep the port-a-potty lines at the maximum level people can stand to dance through ............................................. you guys barely lift a little finger, and everything just keeps getting better and better. A lot of the "boys" downtown hate you guys for it, but I must pay my begrudging respects. Impressive, Impressive, Impressive."

    Pat S.
    Lots E, F, G
    North Fargo, ND


    Thanks, Pat. Remember, Super Hero's like ThM, are only as good as their most hated foil. For the sake of this organization, stay strong ....... and stay evil.

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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    You forgot to include Jill B. Pics?


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