AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

[Rock]

Another incredible parody Mr. Supreme Head Honcho Loaf Sir!

“The Stig” has been burned!

You complete my Bison fandom. Let them rabbits Loose their Joose when they see the Mighty Ones and hear the THUNDAR!

They can be accounting on it. Very taxing on their psyche.

[Bison Loaf]

Dear Thunderstruck Makers,

Well this is really embarrassing, BUT ........... if we ever hope to rebuild Thunderstruck Makers into the glorious online tailgating dynasty that it once was ........ we have to start with trust, transparency, and contrition.

When I was suffering greatly under the terrible mental and musical conditions deep inside the Manilow Makers lair after my unfortunate abduction, one in which I almost died, dammit (so keep that in mind for future reference here), my crack legal team ...... prematurely thinking that I was a sure gonner ..... did a complete search of all of ThM's various hideouts, bunkers, and ex-girlfriend's places around the world.

It appears as though they found a number of illegal bootleg recordings in some of these places, deep within the hidden files of whomever the ThM leader was at the time at those places (what an idiot! ), and promptly reported the illicit findings back to the hazardous materials wing of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, as certainly they should. I fully and completely support their transparent actions in this matter, but only wish I had a chance to sweet talk them out of it all, before they actually handed the shit over.

Yes, this news is tough to take, so close your ears if you are squeamish of nature, but some of the recordings were ........ oh dear lord ......... country ... AND western songs. Still others were ....... and this is just what I'm hearing secondhand ...... loud incoherent rap music, and ........... oh man, I think I'm gonna hurl .......... Broadway Musicals.

Maybe most concerning of all, however, was the apparent finding of an old Saturday Night Fever disco album ...... please lord, not disco ......... that was somehow found hiding within a stack of 1970's gay porn magazines sitting next to my ....... yes, unfortunately, MY ............ 1975 Dodge Dart that was parked in a semi-locked rental garage. All of this circumstantial, no doubt, but a distraction never-the-less.

Still, after this embarrassment, it's time for me to come clean and start fresh, so I'm selling the '75 Dart.

Now ...... let's get back to rebuilding this great organization to it's past glory.

Loaf

[CyPanth]

I won't say that I was inspired by your parodies, but I certainly was encouraged by them. This one is timely for the NFL 49ers game.

"The Brocksology"

Praise Brock from who our passes flow
Praise him all bleachers below
Praise him above ye studio host
Praise Kittle, Kyle, and Nick Bos … a-men.

[Bison Loaf]

Dear Thunderstruck Makers Strategic Stakeholders,

As we work diligently behind the scenes on our massive effort to rebuild the late, great Thunderstruck Makers organization into the faux online tailgating dynasty that it once was, me and my precious few remaining lackies, flunkies, and toadies have managed to put together a list of skills and talents that we believe are sorely need around here.

So, with this timely and strategic roadmap as our guide, we have gone out to the Worldwide Online Tailgating Transfer Portal and are now openly recruiting, pressuring, threatening, bribing, and cajoling our way back to the Mountain Top (Amen) from this Dark Abyss. Hot damn, I feel alive again!

Remember, however, that your donations are crucial to us in the successful completion of this endeavor, as we simply cannot embarrass ourselves by offering boatloads of cash to these talented people ................ without, in fact, having boatloads of cash.


Our Greatest Needs in the Portal

1. A Cleaning Lady/Maid. Preferably hard-working, well-proportioned, tan, French, and adventurous. Not necessarily in that order.
2. A Top-Notch Marketing Executive and Fundraiser. Preferably an experienced, smooth-talking, go-getting, dirty lying bastard, who will say or do anything to promote ThM activities honestly and effectively with fingers crossed behind their back. Must have fingers.
3. A Crackerjack Number Cruncher. Preferably an experienced, fast-calculating, go-getting, dirty lying bastard that will hide or rationalize anything to record ThM activities honestly and effectively with a straight face. Must have fat fingers. Beady eyes are a plus.
4. A New Executive Head Honcho-type person. Must be willing to listen to employees, stakeholders, or to anyone else really - anyone at all. Fresh undergarments and breath mints required daily. Dammit!! Who put THIS on the list?!!
5. A Experienced Pom-Pom Technician. Must be discreet, with supple hands and no callouses, able to perk up, plump up, and, at times, prop up, big sagging pom-poms when necessary. No allergies to silicone, please.
6. A Short Order Cook. Willing to whip up something tasty at all hours of the day, especially after wild, smoke-hazed all-nighters, Dude. Uses Puffy Cheetos in everything (not the crunchy ones), but we also require strictly American cuisine and recipes only, like pizza and tacos. God Bless the USA!
7. A Limousine Driver. Must have a tuxedo, preferably with oriental-type discipline and a belt degree in Wax On/Wax Off. Probably won't drive an actual limo in our working conditions, but must LOOK like they do, especially standing in the waiting rooms of gigantic ThM donors.
8. A Parody Lyric Writer. Must know the lyrics to all AC/DC songs and be willing to desecrate those sacred words while putting the Head Honcho's name on all of your own proprietary work for his personal benefit, especially the good stuff.
9. An IT Security Professional. Must know how to effectively operate servers housed in damp basement bunkers and quickly recover abandoned laptops. Uses the ban-hammer liberally with stupid effing online posters. Not offended by porn on management computers.
10. A Bouncer and Background Checker. Ability to sniff out, then throw out, General Admission tailgaters, Manilow Maker sleeper cells, country music mullet heads, vegans and vegetarians, low donators, and disco progenitors. Methods used will not be questioned.

With a list like this, I feel confident that it won't be long before Thunderstruck Makers makes a miraculous comeback!

Loaf

[CyPanth]

Where do I apply for #4 and #8?

[Bison Loaf]

Dear Thunderstruck Makers,

As we continue our massive effort to rebuild Thunderstruck Makers into the once-great organization that it once was, and as I attempt to repair all of my severe psychological damage sustained at the hands of Manilow Makers by watching feel-good Hallmark movies all day and all night (doctor's orders) ........ it occurred to me that these Hallmark schmucks have NOTHING over Thunderstruck Maker's schmucks when it comes to making a quick, sleazy buck or two.

So ......... just in time for Valentine's Day we bring you The ThM Valentine Card Collection for the low, low price of $89.95 each! (does not include envelope or postage)

Believe me, these babies will get things poppin' between you and your missus, you and your girl, you and your date, or even you and yourself all by yourself. And remember our unconditional guarantee: If you don't like what happened after you gave her one of OUR cards, then we 100%, ironclad, won't-charge-you-anything-at-all, to guarantee you that it was all your own damn fault ..... dork.

Always Lucky at Love,
Loafy
XOXO


My Recruited Valentine
My Dear, there's nothing in this whole wide world,
That can make me feel so immortal,
Than the fact that you're still in my life
And haven't entered the transfer portal!


You Call The Next Play, Lover!
Now I lay me down for the night
Your sexy body just off to my right,
For 40 years, you've been my life's little flower
and we STILL, once a month, run A-Gap Power


Ode to Love for Miss Tailgate
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee like a bright sunny tailgating day
Where our love for each other always reaches to the sky
Like the flames of a gas grill foolishly left on high
I even love thee as much as the few times I see
A very short line there over at the Porta-Potty.
I surely love you enough to share all that is mine
Unless the booze that remains is in frightful decline.
I tell everyone I see that I think you're just great!
While we drink and we watch you tear down our tailgate.
You're even there with me in the damn cold and the yuck
Setting up all the heaters while I sit in our truck
A woman like you, Dear, I forever will choose
Until the day you are bad luck and the Herd starts to lose!


Don't Ever Question My Love
Do I love you as much as a West Lot Tailgate?
Do I love you as much as an Ice Cold Beer?
Do I love you as much as a Bison Ass-Kicking?
It's possible, Babe, but don't get TOO crazy here.

Do I love you as much as "Hurry Up Power"?
Do I love you as much a Grilled Slab of Meat?
Do I love you as much a Power-5 Road Trip?
These questions, My Dear, all go down to defeat!

Do I love you as much as the Delta Formation?
Do I love you as much as a Travis Beck fight?
Do I love you as much as the Thunderstruck Intro?!? (what the hell?!!)
Damn, you're drunk, My Love, go sleep it off for the night!


You're The Best Damn Woman
You are a fast machine
You keep your motor clean
You are the best damn women that I've ever seen!
I love the look in your eyes
When I'm spewing forth lies
As I tell you, dear girl, there's nothing wrong with your thighs!

A little wide in the rear
But gives me no great fear
Cause you still eat like a lineman and can shotgun a beer
And when your poms start shaking, my loins start waking
And my smile ain't faking, both out there for the taking
Cause you ..... shook them all game long
Yeah, you ...... shook them all game long
Didn't see a single play
Cause you ..... shook them all game long
You pulled them out ... and you ... shook them all game long!
And the Bison won because YOU .... shook them all game long!
Yeah you shook them, couldn't stop looking, oh you shook them
ALL GAME LONG!

[Rock]

Mr. Supreme Super Head Honcho Loaf Sir!

May I have permission to speak freely on this private forum?

[Bison Loaf]

Mr. Supreme Super Head Honcho Loaf Sir!

May I have permission to speak freely on this private forum?

I am afraid, Sargent River, that you have caught me at my most emotionally vulnerable time with this question. The old, masculine, sexy, hard-ass Loaf (literally my glutes were once hard as diamonds) would have said, "Hell NO, dammit! You only speak when spoken too!" And I would have shadow-banned you faster than you can tweet "There's a missing ThM laptop".

But that was before the Manilow Sleeper Cell did a real number on me, and now the new vulnerable, emotional, woken Loaf will tell you to do whatever the hell your heart desires to do (as long as it's completely related to ThM business, and has nothing to do with removing me from ThM office.)

I know the new, softer, more feminine me is hard for some of you to take sometimes, but Thunderstruck Makers is a shambles of what it once was, and the rebuilding of our once-proud, sarcastic, give-a-shit culture is going to take a buttload (I'm still remembering those glutes) of time to repair, especially with a veg like me at the helm. As such, we need EVERYBODY in the boat for now, no matter how freakishly different or grotesque they are (except General Admission tailgaters, dammit, we gotta draw the line somewhere!) or how terrible their musical tastes may be. We can always kick these people out later, once we get our act back together (and collect their money).

In the meantime, where did it all go wrong for us? Was it the failure to recognize the presence of a Manilow-like culture creeping into our gnarly AC/DC lifestyle? Perhaps.

But it may even go so far back as when some stupid IDIOT (and I don't recall who's idea it was now, so I forbid anyone to go back and place any blame ) convinced me to kneel for the damn Thunderstruck Intro! Can you believe it?! And even though that was totally not my fault (you can read about the ugliness here .................... http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...65#post1234665) , it appears, surprisingly, that there are unintended consequences to even MY actions.


Anyway, do what you want. I'm off to therapy.

[Rock]

::PrivateComm::

Boss. That is exactly what I wanted to discuss. For my response I suggest you listen to this really tits megadeth list while reading. New album is good stuff.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6C...T2eL2ojoIkZCiA

Been thinking a lot since you decommissioned me 6 months ago. I understand why we had to do it. Sometimes I question the how. People have become disenchanted with the dream aspect of FBS and been reduced to a feeling of purgatory. Think of AC/DC little, and see creeping Manilow as a joke. I pray that the once strong spirit of the Bison returns here but his pride is hurt.

Things seem dark. But consider what we have accomplished together? Little that would be observable here, but our battles with lakes across the parallels of the multiverse??

Trimming the simulation here to bring Bison Miracles home to fans time after time? Bringing upon the “let’s go Bison” chant? And it required you kneeling…. So be it. But yes we should all know Jesus was PISSED at you about that one.

You seducing all of those women to advance the mission which like you said- helped me maintain my purity. You never even suggested I’d have to take one for the team. Helping me quit drinking which had the added benefit of a sober driver for you. That is just good thinking. Good leadership.

Regardless of the current look of things ThunderStruck Makers tm is moving the ball. Fighting cross dimensional battles that some will never know about.

But there is evidence…. BYU robots? A certain “chubs gone crazy fighting artificial intelligence” , inexplicably arguing about pon or pom poms to mess with early iterations of chatgpt.

You are still hard as a rock. But let’s only kneel before one.

#freeLakes

[TransAmBison]

::PrivateComm::

Boss. That is exactly what I wanted to discuss. For my response I suggest you listen to this really tits megadeth list while reading. New album is good stuff.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6C...T2eL2ojoIkZCiA

Been thinking a lot since you decommissioned me 6 months ago. I understand why we had to do it. Sometimes I question the how. People have become disenchanted with the dream aspect of FBS and been reduced to a feeling of purgatory. Think of AC/DC little, and see creeping Manilow as a joke. I pray that the once strong spirit of the Bison returns here but his pride is hurt.

Things seem dark. But consider what we have accomplished together? Little that would be observable here, but our battles with lakes across the parallels of the multiverse??

Trimming the simulation here to bring Bison Miracles home to fans time after time? Bringing upon the “let’s go Bison” chant? And it required you kneeling…. So be it. But yes we should all know Jesus was PISSED at you about that one.

You seducing all of those women to advance the mission which like you said- helped me maintain my purity. You never even suggested I’d have to take one for the team. Helping me quit drinking which had the added benefit of a sober driver for you. That is just good thinking. Good leadership.

Regardless of the current look of things ThunderStruck Makers tm is moving the ball. Fighting cross dimensional battles that some will never know about.

But there is evidence…. BYU robots? A certain “chubs gone crazy fighting artificial intelligence” , inexplicably arguing about pon or pom poms to mess with early iterations of chatgpt.

You are still hard as a rock. But let’s only kneel before one.

#freeLakes

This has to be one of the best posts on bv in a while.*






*The bar is low.