Thunderstruck Makers Year in Review 2022
January - It was only a matter of time before the sheer brilliance of ThM would bring Bison Football and West Lot Tailgating back to it's pre-Covid eminence with Title #9 in Frisco. But then, as if THAT wasn't enough for some of you sniveling whiners and complainers, ThM shocks the world by rolling out a new easy peasy, pom pom squeezy online Meet 'n Greet ticketing system that is, in fact, so DAMN easy, even a liquored-up ThM intern can do it. Hyperbole? Sure, because our interns are dolts. But still pretty easy. As promising as the new year and month started, however, it ended on a sad note with the news of iconic rocker Meat Loaf's passing. It was surprisingly revealed that Bison Loaf and Meat Loaf were NOT actually related to each other like everyone thought, but did share a kindred, lyrical spirit between them, which was lovingly-penned into a tribute distributed to the handfuls of paid-up ThM membership. When you see the lyrics, "You got the kind of lips that do more than drink, you got the kind of mind that does less than think!", it's easy to understand the confusion between these two larger-than-life personalities.
February - Valentine's Day comes and goes, but the grief over Loaf's passing (Meat, not Bison) lingers in the air, as Loaf (Bison, not Meat ..... JFC, this is confusing!) writes a melancholy farewell (?) to AC/DC, set to Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" (which is technically Dolly Parton's, but you get the picture, and now forever known as ThM's Ode to AC/DC). Could this be the end of ThM's relentless and borderline illegal pursuit of our Aussie Rockers?!? Maybe. Or maybe it's just all the prior brown-nosing and butt-kissing that has us guessing ......... no, it's probably not the end. (Note from both Loafs and AC/DC: "Hey, Mr. Narrator - just stick to the damn script! Okay?!")
March - March blows in like a lion as ThM finally shrugs off the grief of February (while also, coincidentally, running out of paid bereavement time off) and voices it's great displeasure over the new tailgating transfer portal which is taking away all of ThM's best (and "best" is a VERY subjective term here) Grunts, Lackies, Flunkies, and Brown-Nosers. Things get so bad that Loaf threatens to make his last post ever if he doesn't get his way, and then takes the rest of March off, with full pay, just to show he means business this time.
April - Surprisingly, it takes a whole month before ThM is heard from again (we heard that cheering in the back, dammit!), but then that next post was just in time for the extremely un-woke holiday of Easter. Indeed, Loaf and the boys dare to use Easter quotes themselves to write about The Greatest Story Ever Told: The Birth of The Thunderstruck Makers Cinematic Universe.
May - Nobody knows what in the hell these guys are working on these days, or for that matter, if they are even on the clock at all! But with the tailgating season just a few short months away, the many sceptics in the ThM coterie say that an AC/DC appearance is probably not going to happen again this year - surprise, surprise (dripping with unapproved sarcasm and literary license). It is clear that membership is now starting to become concerned (and we mean more than it's everyday normal concern) over the mental well-being of its noted leader. What, pray tell, other than drinking, carousing, spending money, strip joint hopping, gambling, weed smoking, and cartoon watching, could possibly be taking our boys away from our ever-important AC/DC goals??
June - Well, there's the answer we've all been dreading. As June rears it's ugly head, rumors abound that Loaf has left the organization for a Power-5 online tailgating gig with Jeff Culhane at Florida State and the ACC . In response, A VERY premature, VERY pre-resignation search committee has been convened to find a worthy successor (is that even possible?!) and the committee is now posting on Bisonville in Loaf's name and likeness. But there is something not quite right about this committee. Nobody can quite put their finger on it, but they seem a little off, a little weird, a little creepy, and just a little too damn giddy over Loaf's disappearance, especially considering everybody else's utter despondency over the matter. The only thing that true ThM believers have going for them at a time like this, is that Loaf has tried to pull this kind of crap before, previously leaving for the Big-12 conference with Klieman - before failing miserably (through no fault of his own, of course) and crawling back to Fargo. Very doubtful that he has the balls to try the same tired storyline again. (Hey, is this last line supposed to be read as purple or not?)