Originally Posted by
Bison Loaf
July - After much pissing & moaning, cussing, and tantrum-throwing, ThM begrudgingly hauls their asses back into their stale and stinky bunker offices and immediately produce an Instant Classic for the 4th of July holiday ... "Thunderstruck the Beautiful". Heartfelt weeping can actually be heard across the entire faux tailgating nation over this majestic piece of sh..eet music. BUT, never ones to rest on their laurels until they are actually done resting on their laurels, ThM gets word of a terrifying emergency and goes immediately into action over an ominous viral development ... the Delta Variant of Barry Manilow Music (AKA the Manilow Variant)! Given the severity and danger of this musical variant, it actually turned out to be a good thing that The-Powers-That-Be at the State Board of Higher Tailgating (SBOHT) went to court and forced Thunderstruck Makers back into work this month "over their dead bodies".
August - With just a month left until fall tailgating season begins, ThM pre-emptively mandates two new AC/DC sponsored beers to be drunk exclusively in the West Lot this fall because they are potent elixirs proven (it's science, people) to combat the dreaded Manilow Variant. Of course nobody listens or complies with the mandate anyway as they continue to drink Truly's, White Claws and other dangerous crap that actually attracts Manilow like flies. ThM rightly blames Fauci for the stunning lack of people following good science these days, and promptly counters such insolence by promulgating fear porn in the form of a Church Organ Cover of Thunderstruck. No, Manilow was not singing Thunderstruck this time, but if not for ThM it would only be a matter of time before he tries. C'mon people, pull your head out! Do you STILL think this stuff isn't scary? Dumbasses.
September - A start of a very confusing month as a new chant is heard in the West Lot, probably due to all the heavy-handed beer mandating (which is really fun to do, btw) and the science-based Manilow Variant fear. Small pockets of "F*ck Off Loafy (clap....clap.... clap, clap, clap)" could be heard around the West Lot, and somebody (it might have been Loaf, but there's no proof) readied the ThM nuclear weapons for imminent action. Cooler heads prevailed, however, as NORAD convinced ThM it was just a bunch of drunk college kids doing the chanting, so nothing to be worried about during the next round of ThM elections. On an completely unrelated note, Loaf, in his all beneficence, suddenly ends the mandates for all his free people in the West Lot to go back to adoring him ad hominem (again, this obviously does not include General Admission folks).
October - In order to further smooth some ruffled feathers among a pissed-off Membership group, ThM finally releases another AC/DC parody song - a Bon Scott classic, no less - for everyone to "get the hell over this Manilow scare thing and that stupid damn Loafy chant you're doing!". The new song "Tailgate" becomes another classic in a long line of classics at ThM (all legally actionable, sure, but classic none-the-less) that some say can even be heard in the foreign tailgates of Iowa State and Northern Iowa. (Are those nuclear weapons still armed, just in case?)
November - With the fall tailgate season halfway over, ThM decides to do what it does best during this time of year: deflect from the fact that there is no frickin' AC/DC again in 2021 (through no fault of ThM's, obviously, unless Loaf can find a fallguy within the organization itself - Hey, has anyone seen Chubs lately?) and the organization puts out a striking, thesis-level compendium on how to handle a hostile media, with their next NY Times best-seller: "Thunderstruck Makers Complete Guide of Answers to Stupid Media Questions".
December - Good Lord, the end of the year is here already, and a truly just and righteous person must honestly ask themselves this question: "What the hell HAVEN'T these guys done to make all of my tailgating dreams come true?" The answer, of course, is, "Not a damn thing." But that doesn't sound quite right, does it. It is inevitable, of course, that some people will nitpick the bejeezus out of every little thing that wasn't accomplished again for the umpteenth time (Dippin' Dot Spoons and West Lot Beach Volleyball come to mind immediately), but this has truly been another amazing year for this beloved organization ... the first, last, and only Online Tailgating Dynasty of it's kind. With AC/DC still squarely in Thunderstruck Makers liquor-induced blurry sight for 2022, ThM finishes the year defiant and strong by blowing it out AC/DC's ass with another KISS parody song (that oughta piss BOTH of them off! HA HA!) for the playoffs ... "Ground and Pound All Game".
Is 2022 the year our boys finally get this AC/DC thinga-ma-jiggy done? Better question is .... Do you even need to ask?