AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

[Bison Loofa]

I believe that Bison Loofa and Bison Loaf might be the same person. There is something strangely similar in the way they write.

Yes, I am that smart. You are welcome.

Oh, we've got a "smarty pants" around here. Surprise, surprise.

Obviously another troll from that nutjob former regime that we just recently and mercifully put out of it's misery. So from now on at Manilow Makers, we're going to refer to you as Smarty Pants Nutjob Troll Person. Congratulations, you've just crazy'd yourself into the bigtime online tailgating world.

So, SPNTP, besides setting yourself up for a MONSTER (It IS Halloween, you know ) defamation of character lawsuit, did it ever occur to you, even for one eentsy-weensty nutjob second, that I might possibly be parroting that other person's writing style in order to mock the dumbass into oblivion? I mean, we're battling for the hearts and minds of Bison tailgaters all across the world here. It's a nasty business!

So think about it, but keep the answer to yourself. And don't ever defame me again, and never, and I mean NEVER EVER, try to call us here at Manilow Makers!

[TransAmBison]

I picture Loaf "waking up" out of his Loofa phase...disoriented, not quite sure where he's at or how he got there, and why he isn't wearing a dress.*





*Will only be worse when he sees himself in the mirror and realizes he was out and about without his makeup on.

[Bison Loofa]

I picture Loaf "waking up" out of his Loofa phase...disoriented, not quite sure where he's at or how he got there, and why he isn't wearing a dress.*





*Will only be worse when he sees himself in the mirror and realizes he was out and about without his makeup on.

Can't speak for that other dumbass, but, for your information, we actually encourage dresses here at Manilow Makers for ALL of the multitude of different human species at our very welcoming and genderless tailgates. We also encourage leisure suits, and random skipping, and eating salads for no reason at all. It's a whole new world out there, Bub, just drop a needle on a Manilow record and embrace it!

The only thing we don't encourage is stretch pants, body suits, or speedos for general admission tailgaters. That would just be cruel and inhumane.

[Bison Loaf]

London Calling all Thunderstruck Maker Freedom Fighters. Stand-By For Important Battle Instructions From Your Fearless Leader ......................

Good Morning Troops,

While the enemy argues about who wears the nicest panties ........ here is, as promised, your secret encrypted message. Lots to unpack here, and both I and AC/DC are not getting any younger, so time is of the essence.

Good Luck and God Speed!

Generalissimo Loaf



Misbehavin' ...... Nevermore! (A Halloween Horror Story)

Once upon a tailgate dreary, while I hungover, weak and bleary,
From the effects of an overindulgence the night before —
In the tailgate line-up, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
A tapping, dammit, upon my parked rig's door.
“’Go to Hell!”, I quickly muttered, “Let me rest", my hoarse voice guttered —
"Or someone's out for blood and guts and gore!"

Lo, I recall the numbing horror of how it was that late October;
After the chill of an early conference loss to a rival team of whores.
What followed next, a tale of caution, dare not told just once so often
Lest one finds themselves an actor in this horrible tale of lore.
For winning breeds us too complacent, but another life there lurks, adjacent—
A beast that must be vanquished evermore.

Thus, heedless of that sudden tapping, I fell back to drunken napping
The awful stench that filled that rig 'twas never smelt before;
So much so that I felt protected, of all who entered thus affected
In such a way they'd likely drop right dead upon the floor.
But this is where the tale gets ugly, I don't mind saying, rather smugly—
The beast had chosen me amidst my snore.

'Twas then my locked door burst wide open, first thing I thought was 'Man, I'm dopin',
That nasty, sleezy, queazy feeling one simply can't ignore; (not that I would know, of course )
Came the rude and sudden halt of napping, along with sounds of my bones snapping,
When a loathsome creature grabbed my neck and yanked me out the door,
I can't recall 'twas then I thinking—doubtless vows of no more drinking—
There passed out cold, recalling nothing more.

In time, I stirred, the cobwebs clearing, and long I stood there wondering, fearing,
"What hell did someone slip within my drink the night before?!"
But there he stood, the beast repugnant, warts on face, his breath malignant,
Growling, said, "Come here, poor schmuck, your fears must be explored."
Oh, I've seen ugly rotten creatures, self-inflicted booze-born screechers—
But THIS was something different all the more.

"So you think you're smart, you cocky bastard, the Bison win and you get plastered",
"Wash and rinse, repeat", said he, "....... for ever and ever more?"
“Well, duh,” said I, “why wouldn't I think it? It's FCS and it does stinketh".
"The titles, they keep coming, and it's become a raging bore."
"The grass, you know, is always greener, the drinks somewhere, are always keener"—
"There's got to be a little something more"!

[Bison Loaf]

Misbehavin' ....... Nevermore! (Part 2)

He smiled so vile, the bugs there creeping, did all I could to keep from shreeking,
His dead black eyes thus paring me like fish guts washed to shore;
He brought his face within mere inches, fingers dug like dull syringes;
He cocked his head and squinted mean, let loose a jagged roar.
It stopped my heart, l must be honest, no more doobies, vowed and promised—
If somehow I came through this day in store.

An eery mist then did configure, to take us whence, I dared not venture,
This rocky ride induced a barfing upon thy garment worn (dammit!),
The beast flew crazy, like he on crack, naught a single movie or in-flight snack,
And the thought of asking for money back, seemed risky to be sure—
So I screamed my dear Lord's name in vain, "Somebody get me off this thing!”
Such pleas the beast did gleefully ignore.

Thank God we stopped, a second round, might fetch back up what I kept down,
But with eyes now focused properly, a stadium came to fore;
Fans were there, but not that many, a midweek game as sure as any
In Bison green and yellow, outdoors, frozen to the core!
"What bunk is this?!", I did so proffer, beast just shrugged, "Took the first conference offer."
Then I dropped and cried for hours upon the floor.

"Take me home, you ghoulish freakshow! You've cracked my bones and bruised my ego."
My tantrum now complete, I screamed, which was not any easy chore. (throwing a good tantrum, that is)
But he brushed me off and began to snicker, then licked my ear as he drew hither,
"When enough you've had, I'll let you know, and not one bit before!"—
My hair he pulled and there I swung, off to the next stop we did run.
That glue, you know? That I'd been sniffing? I vow it ........ Nevermore!

Well there we stood, a well-known spot, "Alas!", I cried, "My dear West Lot!"
But a chill crept up my jellied spine as I viewed this hell's eyesore.
I saw mullets and keychains and cowboy boots, a gathering place for GA brutes
With that twangy music blaring loud, quite impossible to ignore
"Dear Lord, how these poor folks have fallen! Forgotten now, their lost souls calling,
From a place they can't return to, or restore!"

"There's more!", said beast, "You're gonna love it", sarcasm least among his talents,
We slunk on to the East Lot now, approaching what wait in store.
I saw salads and skipping and leisure suits, the thought of which made me want to puke (again!)
There was Manilow blasting in stereo, people actually asking for more!!
"Clearly", I said, "I must now be dead". If not, then rather I should be instead,
Than ever a tailgate happen this way, I swore!

[Bison Loaf]

Misbehavin' ....... Nevermore! (Part 3)

Empty now, all was lost, so screw it; I was ready to quit and the beast surely knew it
There is only so much a Herd fan can take and the beast burned it down to the core;
Yes, he showed me the rest, so much rollicking fun (now THAT's sarcasm, beast!), no titles, no playoffs, no fine power runs.
Even games where we pass more than run , and don't even score!
Then .. the beast dropped a needle down onto some vinyl, AC/DC playing disco, his victory now final,
And he gave me a gun, in mercy, to end my rancor!

But gathering up strength, I tried happy thoughts: At least there'll be two lines into the West Lot?
And better Dippin' Dot spoons won't spill on my shirt any more?
Those Wednesday game pee lines will be rather short, heck a few more called pass plays I could maybe support?
And I guess there are some country songs that are not all bad at their core?
Aah, who the hell was I trying to kid! These things all sucked, and God forbid,
That the Big-12 would ever come knocking upon our door!

So, sniffing and sobbing, a puddle I was, you would think I was going through male menopause
Take the easy way out, I told myself, there is no shame where-to-fore.
Feeling like I was caught on a railroad track, the loco was coming with no turning back (doesn't this sound familiar?)
My mind started racing, didn't know what to do, but race about all the more.
This is it, I thought, nothing more I can do, and there was no help for me, that much I knew
My descent into madness increasing ever the more.

Then with Hope at it's lowest, there came a loud crack, a lightning bolt struck the beast's hanging sac
And the balls that I'd been lacking, so to speak, were back in hand once more
An axe out of nowhere, a Gretsch I think, with a wicked tone and a backing sync
Slayed the beast with a riff so rockin' and killer, a new ass on the creature it bore
Then the dark clouds cleared as the Thunder Struck, and the next thing I knew I was back in my truck
Just awaking upon a dream-filled slumber snore.

Hell's Bells, I noted, that was quite a trip, the sweat pouring off my blue, trembling lips
Never been through a bender quite so intense before.
I glanced to my side and I looked in the back, then I checked all my bones, and they seemed well intact,
Still, that game at midweek and the Manilow tunes seem so scary and real, I swore!
Maybe lessons were learned, could I dare even think it? Indeed, likely so, though FCS still do stinketh,
But enjoy it, my friend, it all runs it's due course hence-to-fore!

Now, once upon a tailgate cheery, while still hungover, all those vows just theory,
From the effects of an overindulgence the night before —
In the tailgate line-up, awake and yapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
A tapping, wrapped in green and gold, upon my parked rig's door.
“Let's go Herd!", said he, like a happy child, “Great day for a game!", I replied with a smile —
'Cuz there was nothing I took for granted anymore!


HAPPY HALLOWEEN, THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS!

[Professor Chaos]

Anyone else notice how Bison football is a pedestrian 4-2 since Manilow Makers became a thing.... coincidence???

[Bison Loofa]

Anyone else notice how Bison football is a pedestrian 4-2 since Manilow Makers became a thing.... coincidence???

Okay. Professor Boomer! This might be the most General-Admission-Tailgating-phobic thing I've ever heard in my life! Shame on you.

If I weren't so damn busy with all the cybersecurity issues that have reared their ugly head after this morning's unprovoked and malicious foreign hacking attack of this channel, I'd be more than happy to berate you further, but I've still got a few hundred IT people yet to fire.

[TransAmBison]

Okay. Professor Boomer! This might be the most General-Admission-Tailgating-phobic thing I've ever heard in my life! Shame on you.

If I weren't so damn busy with all the cybersecurity issues that have reared their ugly head after this morning's unprovoked and malicious foreign hacking attack of this channel, I'd be more than happy to berate you further, but I've still got a few hundred IT people yet to fire.

The IT dept must be very confused with the Fight Club dual personality thing.

[Bison Loofa]

The IT dept must be very confused with the Fight Club dual personality thing.

I think a lot of people are confused over dual personalities, and our IT department has no personality at all ............... so what's your point again?

And if your Fight Club reference is because you don't care for men with large breasts, then I, for one, beg to differ.

Now, please, let me get back to the critical work of saving the world online tailgating community from the hellfires and damnation of rock and roll!