Well, dear readers, I think we've beaten this Manilow Variant thing into the ground just about as far as we possibly can here at the Thunderstruck Makers Cinematic Universe, so it's now time to get back to what we do best around here (AND why we get paid the BIG bucks in virtual perpetuity).
You know, the tailgating season has already started and we, for some damn reason, have not bastardized an AC/DC song in a long, long time. Of course, the dangerous Manilow Variant has been keeping us unnecessarily occupied for quite some time, but let us not forget that these songs, as brilliant yet disturbing as they are,
are extremely effective in trying to shamelessly shame AC/DC in to a Live Intro and West Lot appearance. I think our past success in these endeavors has proven that fact beyond a shadow of a doubt for all of you.
Therefore, we go off the grid a bit in choosing our next AC/DC song bastardization - a song that is so clearly one of their classics to hardcore fans, yet largely unknown to our young tailgating mush skulls, having never appeared on one of AC/DC full studio albums released in the United States (it was released in Austrailia on 'Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap' but not the US version of that album - the sneaky effers!). And, we might add, with Bon Scott at the helm, this is just about as far from that dastardly Barry Manilow as one can possible get. Win - Win - Win for all of us. Will 2021 be the year for our Aussie Boys? How can they resist stuff like this?! Damn near impossible, we think!
Tailgate .................................................. .
Knew a girl who'd never been West Lotting
Asked her, "What the hell is wrong?!"
Said, "I'm the sad, bitter wife of UND low-life.
"Well hell, girl! Bring him along!"
Oh, she had a great time once she got there
Treated wonderfully by all and more
Despite her UND dink who couldn't handle his drink
Amid the hockey jersey that he wore
Brought her to a Taaailgate
Oh we've seen HIS kind before
Brought her to a Tailgate
Damn Girl! Just two drinks and he's out on the floor!
But it was all in the name of liberty
Sometimes you take the oppressed and you set them free!
And that guy was NASTY!
Taaaaaailgate .......... Got an intervention here on my hands
Taaaaaailgate .......... A poor hostage from sad, foreign lands
Taaaaaailgate .......... I think we can get this dude to stand!
Taaaaaailgate ......... Umm, yeah, not really
Dad finally took his young kids to the West Lot
Said, "Never tell what you see or hear."
'Cuz if Mom gets word, that's the end of my Herd
And the beginning of a long 40 years
So when Mom asked where they were going?
He said, "Off to 'church', dear, I cannot lie."
"Kids must pray at the alter, where God's team don't falter,
and His Thunder doth light up the sky!"
They're ..... Going to a Taaailgate
Truth was twisted but he did not lie!
Going to a Tailgate
"Hurry up, kids, my throat is dry!"
Now go fetch your dear Dad another Bud Lite please
And then go save me a spot at the port-a-potties!
Taaaaaailgate .......... Hell, I should've had kids years ago!
Taaaaaailgate .......... No, they're not too young to set up in the snow.
Taaaaaailgate .......... Besides I'll pay them when it's time to go.
Taaaaaailgate .......... Umm, yeah, not really
There was a friend of mine went maskless once
Such a selfish prick was he
That King Fauci found him guilty
Gave him six months quarantine
He said, "but, Bison Football's starting, man."
And I ain't missin' no game
Ain't sittin' at home while the Covid roams
I'll go underground and change my name
Cuz I'm ..........
Going to a Taaailgate
I don't care what those comrades say
Going to a Tailgate
Petty tryants will not have their way
'Cause, it's all in the name of liberty
Well, there's THAT and Loaf finally invited me
And I'm symptom free!
Taaaaaailgate .......... Let me in, boys, if you dare
Taaaaaailgate .......... I'm double vaxxed now if anyone cares
Taaaaaailgate .......... I promise my drinks I will not share
Taaaaaailgate .......... Umm, yeah, not really