My Dear Thunderstruck Makers,
Well .... damn.
Since we now know that the very promising and recent new fundraising technique of getting a buttload of pledged donations from people on behalf of other unsuspecting people without their knowledge or consent never really did take off for us (damn those Chinese whistleblowers) ........... AND, given the fact that I have no new ideas for the next big, bouncy, and jiggly plot twist for the Thunderstruck Makers Cinematic Universe (ThMCU) here on this thread ........... AND, noting that Rock/River/Chubs will not be back from his ill-advised trip into the tingly nether regions of outer space for a few millennia yet ......... AND still, understanding that we have just a month and a half before the $15 million in appearance fees will be due in order to get those greedy damn Australian bastards in here for a live Game Intro and Tailgate Meet 'n Greet ........
........ it's time to start thinking outside the box around here.
Therefore, I have instructed my lackies, toadies, grunts, and minions to painstakingly search and recover ....... deep in the ThM archives ........ archives that no one, and I mean NO ONE, has the good sense to go back and read for free or for any reason whatsoever (the lazy bastards) ........ that are securely locked in the ThM garage by strict order of the DOJ, FBI and the Geneva Convention ........ inside an unmarked box right next to my dearly beloved 1975 Dodge Dart and someone else's
vintage gay porn magazine collection ........ all for the greater good of mankind in general and the prosperity of all people of the world specifically (except general admission tailgaters) .......... to begin releasing ........ in drips and drops ........ what we like to call (and all employees of ThM are mandated to call) THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS.
I've heard that the money just starts flowing in whenever something goes viral on the interwebs, and you get paid for every hit, view, click, miss, or like from any dumbass unsuspecting dolt out there. Geez, this is what we've been dreaming of for years! So certainly, compared to everything that I see out there ....... and with the tired and old (but new to those smart enough to ignore it the first time around) recycled crap that we're going to be posting again ......... we should make a killing! I figure at 25 cents a view for each of these instant classics, plus the $14.999 million pledge that we hope to somehow weasel out of Sanford Health in the next 45 days ......... it's clear that we are now legitimately on the doorstep of AC/DC tailgating history!
So, in closing, I thank you all for the support (except general admission tailgaters) in allowing me to be this frickin' brilliant all the time. Please view the coming classic posts as many times as possible, and together, we can tell AC/DC to kiss our big American asses while we finally enjoy the greatest damn Rock Band in the world at one of our games and tailgates this fall.
God Bless Me Everyone,
Loaf