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Thread: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

  1. #1031
    Join Date
    Sep 2022
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Dear Manilow Makers,

    We've been busy cleaning house around here the last month or so, and I do mean CLEANING HOUSE - not just people. The prior occupants were filthy pigs!

    All of this is really hampering our efforts to bring the Great Manilow in for a West Lot Concert, Meet 'n Greet, and Game Intro. (The loss to Arizona didn't help either. Manilow only likes winners, dammit.)

    You just won't believe some of the crap we've been cleaning up. First and foremost is ....... actual crap. Yes, there was a lot of animal feces lying about, as one might expect .... dog, cat, mice, bird, horse, snake, tarantula, even bison excrement (wasn't Corso missing for a day or two last fall?), but who would ever have expected human feces itself? I mean, how does that even happen, especially with 5 stolen West Lot porta-potties securely anchored in the living room? (No WONDER the lines are so long out there!)

    There was also gum stuck under every piece of furniture in the place, including the greatly stained carpet. Food wrappers, candy wrappers, cigar butts, court summons, parking tickets, crushed beer cans, open beer cans, spilled beer cans, pizza crust, deodorant sticks, flossing sticks, used Kleenex, missing teeth, fake ID's, half-eaten Cheetos under and around everything, and ramen noodles seemingly stuck to every wall in the joint. Oh, and lots of joints too.

    And all the pages of paper stacked around the place was a real fire hazard, I tell you ......... finished AC/DC parody lyrics, unfinished AC/DC parody lyrics, court orders about AC/DC parody lyrics, cease and desist notices, finished and unfinished parody lyrics on other songs from other artists, more cease and desist notices, love letters, dating profiles, "Dear John' letters, P5 Conference job applications, hate letters, letters to the editor, letters to the Governor, letters to the President, letters to Angus Young, letters to TAB, letters to Fanette, letters to Finn the Goldendoodle Stud, letters to CAS, letters to RTO, letters to Milli Vanilli on behalf of RTO, letters to Playboy, letters to Penthouse, letters to Bresciani, letters to Fauci, letters to Samantha Ponder, multiple restraining orders from Samantha Ponder, multiple general restraining orders, ransom notes both to and from, 'handsome" notes both to and from himself, and a boatload of resignation letters to the State Board of Higher Tailgating (SBOHT) - none ever finished, mailed or delivered.

    (Deep Breath - Long Sigh) The fact is, it's going to take more time to get Manilow in here, people, and more donation money to finish this gigantic clean-up effort.

    Yours is Cleanliness,

    Bison Loofa
    Merry Maid of Mayhem
    Manilow Makers, INC.

  2. #1032
    BISONBRI53's Avatar
    BISONBRI53 is offline Senior Member Gets their mail at the West Parking Lot
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    1,287

    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by Bison Loofa View Post
    Dear Manilow Makers,

    We've been busy cleaning house around here the last month or so, and I do mean CLEANING HOUSE - not just people. The prior occupants were filthy pigs!

    All of this is really hampering our efforts to bring the Great Manilow in for a West Lot Concert, Meet 'n Greet, and Game Intro. (The loss to Arizona didn't help either. Manilow only likes winners, dammit.)

    You just won't believe some of the crap we've been cleaning up. First and foremost is ....... actual crap. Yes, there was a lot of animal feces lying about, as one might expect .... dog, cat, mice, bird, horse, snake, tarantula, even bison excrement (wasn't Corso missing for a day or two last fall?), but who would ever have expected human feces itself? I mean, how does that even happen, especially with 5 stolen West Lot porta-potties securely anchored in the living room? (No WONDER the lines are so long out there!)

    There was also gum stuck under every piece of furniture in the place, including the greatly stained carpet. Food wrappers, candy wrappers, cigar butts, court summons, parking tickets, crushed beer cans, open beer cans, spilled beer cans, pizza crust, deodorant sticks, flossing sticks, used Kleenex, missing teeth, fake ID's, half-eaten Cheetos under and around everything, and ramen noodles seemingly stuck to every wall in the joint. Oh, and lots of joints too.

    And all the pages of paper stacked around the place was a real fire hazard, I tell you ......... finished AC/DC parody lyrics, unfinished AC/DC parody lyrics, court orders about AC/DC parody lyrics, cease and desist notices, finished and unfinished parody lyrics on other songs from other artists, more cease and desist notices, love letters, dating profiles, "Dear John' letters, P5 Conference job applications, hate letters, letters to the editor, letters to the Governor, letters to the President, letters to Angus Young, letters to TAB, letters to Fanette, letters to Finn the Goldendoodle Stud, letters to CAS, letters to RTO, letters to Milli Vanilli on behalf of RTO, letters to Playboy, letters to Penthouse, letters to Bresciani, letters to Fauci, letters to Samantha Ponder, multiple restraining orders from Samantha Ponder, multiple general restraining orders, ransom notes both to and from, 'handsome" notes both to and from himself, and a boatload of resignation letters to the State Board of Higher Tailgating (SBOHT) - none ever finished, mailed or delivered.

    (Deep Breath - Long Sigh) The fact is, it's going to take more time to get Manilow in here, people, and more donation money to finish this gigantic clean-up effort.

    Yours is Cleanliness,

    Bison Loofa
    Merry Maid of Mayhem
    Manilow Makers, INC.
    Were all those restraining orders from player's grandma's given to Lakes?
    BISONBRI53 [/FONT]

  3. #1033
    Join Date
    Sep 2022
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    To ALL My Hurting People after the Arizona Loss,

    When we here at Manilow Makers took over this motley operation recently in a horribly violent and bloody online coup, we made a promise to all of you General Admission tailgaters (and other so-called undesirables like country music lovers) that we were going to be an organization of real action for you ..... with real results, and real solutions to real problems in the real world. Really.

    As proof of this commitment, we offer this comforting gift below to all of our beautiful little mullet-heads out there (make no mistake, that is a term of endearment for us) that can't get over the Arizona coach telling us all (and I'm paraphrasing here because we strive to be a G-rated family show) to "go pleasure ourselves with rhythmic pelvic thrusting".

    I'm so glad we could be of service so soon. Let the healing begin.

    Bison Loofa
    Healer, Shaman, and Snowflake Whisperer
    Manilow Makers, Inc.





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