AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

[bisonfanette]

An Important Announcement From Beloved ThM Lifetime Honcho Bison Loaf:


My Dear Fellow Thunderstruck Makers,

It is with heavy heart that I must formally announce ...... that you and I (but mostly you) did not, once again, achieve our lofty goals for this fiscal year.

Although you and I (but mostly I) fought hard and went toe-to-toe with our elusive quarry again this season, it was not to be. With our final home game of the year tomorrow, I can now end the elaborate cover-up, and inform you that AC/DC will NOT be coming in for a Live Intro appearance this season, nor will the Big-12 be offering a football invite to us in 2017. Injuries, of course, were a major factor in someone's utter ineptitude in getting this task done this season (just who is to blame, is not clear at this time), but we do know that your trusty leadership always has us heading in the right direction and the future looks at least as promising as anyone ever thought it might possibly be in the first place.

I know, I know. This announcement is a bit of a shocker to all of you, but I certainly cannot help it if none of you were willing (again!) to step up to the plate to make this happen. We just have to face the fact around here that you and I (but almost entirely you) dropped the damn ball again and must now live in horrifying shame of your colossal and continuing failures. But hey, it happens.

THE GOOD NEWS, however, is that there is STILL one simple task (thank God!) that even WE (both you and I) appear to be exceptionally good at, and it is time to put those skills on glorious display again this Friday Night! So with that, we want to implore Thunderstruck Nation to make us proud (for once ) and join the entirety of BISON Nation in making sure that the Sam Houston State Bearkats have ..................

Herd Us All Night Long!!! ..............(http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...83#post1178183)

Peace and out,

Loaf

Ya know... when our AD announces upcoming projects in the Athletic Dept... we get a formal letter in the mail with his "hand-written signature...
and thinking about this a bit more...
whenever we donate to Bison Excellent/Pride Funds etc. we get a THANK YOU in the MAIL signed by the Head Coach himself.
Perhaps you need to step it up a notch?!!

[Bison Loaf]

Ya know... when our AD announces upcoming projects in the Athletic Dept... we get a formal letter in the mail with his "hand-written signature...
and thinking about this a bit more...
whenever we donate to Bison Excellent/Pride Funds etc. we get a THANK YOU in the MAIL signed by the Head Coach himself.
Perhaps you need to step it up a notch?!!

Dammit Auntie Fanette!! You're embarrassing me! If people find out a high-powered rock-and-roll power broker like I am ............... is actually living in your basement, rent free ................ I'll never forgive you.

[Bison Loaf]

This just in. Undercover and unauthorized footage of Thunderstruck Maker's closed door and secretive annual company Christmas Party last night.

**WARNING: The images contained in this video are both awesome and disturbing. View (and enjoy) at your own risk. **

[HerdBoy]

This just in. Undercover and unauthorized footage of Thunderstruck Maker's closed door and secretive annual company Christmas Party last night.

**WARNING: The images contained in this video are both awesome and disturbing. View (and enjoy) at your own risk. **

Wunderbar!

[Bison Loaf]

Thunderstruck Makers has two (2) reserved game tickets to Frisco for sale at face value (+ fees). Booze, strip club entry, and potential AC/DC Meet 'N Greet while in Frisco is not included.

This is an unbelievably charitable, "no-strings-attached" offer ......... except for the following strings:

1. Must be a well respected BV Poster (that oughta eliminate most of you) and a TRUE Bison fan with no red chicklets or communicable diseases on your record.
2. Must be a member in good standing of Thunderstruck Makers, or at least be able to pretend like you are somewhat interested in the awesome work we do.
3. Must pledge your undying allegiance to Bison Loaf as ThM's Lifetime Executive Honcho.
4. Must consider TAB and RTO your sworn enemies, and pledge to defend, with your life, their advances toward the bloody ThM coup that is destined to play out some time in the future.
5. Must be able to recite every word of every song in AC/DC's impressive catalogue. (Do I really even need to list this one?!)
6. Must NOT be one of those icky general admission tailgaters.
7. Must be able to fill in and lead to victory (even on short notice when asked) ThM's pathetic, last-place and win-less curling league team.
8. Must promise to annoint your first-born (or next) child, grandchild, or great grandchild, with the legal first name of "Loafy".
9. Must be able to grovel, brown-nose and tell me how great I am, more effectively than any other interested parties for these tickets. You don't even have to mean it.

and finally,

10. Must be able to consumate (or arrange to consumate) this cash-for-tickets transaction at a secure location in Fargo, without being followed by federal authorities, Forum Communications, bisonfanette, or the Powers-That-Be.

If interested, you are authorized ........ this ONE TIME only, dammit! .......... to PM me.

Good Luck!

Loaf

[Bison Loaf]

Thunderstruck Makers has two (2) reserved game tickets to Frisco for sale at face value (+ fees). Booze, strip club entry, and potential AC/DC Meet 'N Greet while in Frisco is not included.

This is an unbelievably charitable, "no-strings-attached" offer ......... except for the following strings:

1. Must be a well respected BV Poster (that oughta eliminate most of you) and a TRUE Bison fan with no red chicklets or communicable diseases on your record.
2. Must be a member in good standing of Thunderstruck Makers, or at least be able to pretend like you are somewhat interested in the awesome work we do.
3. Must pledge your undying allegiance to Bison Loaf as ThM's Lifetime Executive Honcho.
4. Must consider TAB and RTO your sworn enemies, and pledge to defend, with your life, their advances toward the bloody ThM coup that is destined to play out some time in the future.
5. Must be able to recite every word of every song in AC/DC's impressive catalogue. (Do I really even need to list this one?!)
6. Must NOT be one of those icky general admission tailgaters.
7. Must be able to fill in and lead to victory (even on short notice when asked) ThM's pathetic, last-place and win-less curling league team.
8. Must promise to annoint your first-born (or next) child, grandchild, or great grandchild, with the legal first name of "Loafy".
9. Must be able to grovel, brown-nose and tell me how great I am, more effectively than any other interested parties for these tickets. You don't even have to mean it.

and finally,

10. Must be able to consumate (or arrange to consumate) this cash-for-tickets transaction at a secure location in Fargo, without being followed by federal authorities, Forum Communications, bisonfanette, or the Powers-That-Be.

If interested, you are authorized ........ this ONE TIME only, dammit! .......... to PM me.

Good Luck!

Loaf

Tickets are sold.

And the buyers did not even meet ONE of the written-in-stone, non-negotiable criteria I laid out. Unlike my AC/DC negotiations, I really got played on this deal! Oh well, I guess I'm just an old softy when it comes to you damn Bison fans!

Go Bison! Bring it back home!

Loaf

[Bison Loaf]

Now that our beloved football team has corrected the cosmos and retaken what is rightfully theirs (and ours!) ................................. it is time to sit back, relax, reflect and re-live all the highlights, lowlights and adversity overcome in 2017 by our OTHER dynastic organization.


The Thunderstruck Makers (ThM) 2017 Year in Review .................... (aka, The Annual Company Line on "Why Stuff Didn't Get Done") .......Part 1

January - A promising year starts out horribly, terribly wrong as the Bison are NOT in the FCS Title Game for the first time in 5 years, and then comes shocking but credible rumors that ThM's irreplaceable Executive Honcho is looking at bolting to a rival organization. (See post #283) As membership attempts to deal with this psychologically crushing bit of news, The State Board of Higher Tailgating (bless their hearts) are somehow able to sweet-talk leadership back into the fold with more bitcoin, booze and bimbos. Crisis averted ...for now.

February - As things settle down over the near-cataclysmic events of January, Thunderstruck Makers manages to get some recruiting work done and announces The 2017 Class of ThM Tailgate Recruits (See post #290), amid very little damn press coverage or fanfare. (Thanks, Dom and Jeff! /p ) Yet, with precious few scholarships available and a ridiculously overdrawn expense account to tap into, ThM recruiters do yeoman's work in getting a few decent prospects to bite on the hot garbage that they were out there trying to sell. National recruiting publications do not rank this year's ThM tailgate recruiting class to be a good one, or even average, but neither were any of our other classes...............and look how well THEY are doing with getting AC/DC in here.

March - In a touching and singular bit of concern for its beloved yet exasperating membership, ThM takes great risks to it's carefully cultivated reputation by issuing it's first and only Constituent Survey. (See post #311) After much internal scrubbing and re-working of some really stupid effing survey responses , the final official results, as expected, are largely fantastic (!), and prove, yet again, that this organization is completely and adoringly planted inside the heads of it's overly trusting membership. Further, the great results tend to light a fire under the soft and flabby rear ends of ThM personnel, until someone very quickly determined that retouched results like these should buy at least 3 more months of party time until we all might actually have to get back to work.

April - There is nothing more disgusting within the hallowed halls of ThM headquarters than snotty damn millennials that don't know how to properly tailgate, act at Bison games, or knock (dammit) when office doors are shut and lustful sounds are emanating from within! Therefore, ThM issues a mandatory education program for the clueless parents of such young mushers (See post #319) and personally sees to it that the next generation of Bison Fans are themselves completely full of whatever it is that ThM is completely "full of", and are ready to take over our timeless tailgating traditions whenever Pat Simmers finally decides to arbitrarily pry our season tickets, our tailgating passes, and our shot glasses from our cold, dead fingers.

May - Dissension rears it ugly head again (success like ours, of course, breeds a lot of jealousy), as ThM spends valuable time tamping down yet another internal membership coup over the seeming lack of visible progress for an AC/DC appearance, or a Big-12 invite. With tensions running extremely high, ThM needed to pull something brilliant out of their collective asses this time, so voila! ...... The Application for Reserved AC/DC Meet 'N Greet Spots is foisted upon an unsuspecting and largely undeserving public. (See post #338).

June - HA! This is a month where the organization soundly silences it plethora of misinformed and dumbass critics, as first, ThM beats Bisonville itself to the punch (Sorry Tony... Not!) by issuing it's first commemorative T-shirt (with multiple T-Shirt saying choices to boot!) for only $79.95 (+ mandatory expedited shipping fees) (See post #341), and then, as if THAT weren't enough to make everybody forget the lack of headway regarding Angus and the boys, ThM sees its way to publish, quite possibly, the greatest living document in the long history of world tailgating - The Declaration of Tailgating Independence. (See post #365)

[Bison Loaf]

The Thunderstruck Makers (ThM) 2017 Year in Review .................... (aka, The Annual Company Line on "Why Stuff Didn't Get Done") ...........Part 2


July - With an AC/DC appearance now pretty much a sure thing after that tear-jerking and highly eloquent Tailgating Declaration thingy-ma-jiggy (See post #365), and with still plenty of time to spare before the season starts, ThM shifts gears to raise some much needed funds by issuing another classic cut off it's multi-platinum album "Back in Smack" entitled "Let There Be Thunder". (See post #372) The tens of dollars that this song raises in royalties almost allows ThM leadership to pay off some very embarrassing gambling debts and a largely punitively alimony payment. Thanks to all that contributed!

August - The season is getting close at hand, and as usual, there is likely no AC/DC progress that membership would ever know about. And indeed, ThM does a wonderful job of deflecting the shame and disappointment of it all, by prematurely publishing the AC/DC Game Day Tailgating Script (or "What An AC/DC Tailgating Appearance Would Look Like If They Ever Got Their Bony Australian Arses In Here!). (See post #407) Everyone agrees that this stunt should be plenty enough to satisfy everybody's already low expectations for results during this year, and congratulatory giggles by ThM staff are had all around.

September - In a moment of head-scratching weakness, ThM opens the fan mailbag (See post #409), at great risk to life and limb of themselves and the bomb-sniffing dogs they rented for the occasion. The organization also, unfortunately, has to pull itself away from all of it's 24-hour, 7-day-a-week AC/DC work, to crisis-manage the mind-numbing fear that it's constituency has over the rumored terrorist plot to bring in Barry Manilow for a performance in The East Lot. (See post #413) Now the whole world learns ... the hard way ... why there are no atheists in foxholes, bomb shelters, or Copacabana's (the hottest spots north of Havana).

October - Another horrendous month of issues and problems doesn't at all help get AC/DC into Fargo, but that's nothing that ThM hasn't dealt with before. A Marketing and Promotions guy is hired (See post #415), but leaves when his first payroll check bounces. Then, ThM reveals that it's headquarters had been searched during a midnight DEA raid, and yielded some very embarrassing and effeminate items. (See post #416) Meanwhile, injuries are deftly blamed for whatever needs scapegoating around here, but the natives are getting smart AND restless, so, against strict NCAA regulations and the norms of common human decency, a confidential injury report is leaked to high-donation, inner-circle members. (See post #419)

November - The great Malcolm Young dies (RIP), the trauma of which causes ThM leadership to start an ill-advised kneeling protest (See post #437) during the Thunderstruck Football Intro - even though the protest could not be seen by everyone else who was already standing, or that Malcolm had actually passed away AFTER the protest was initiated. As a result, donation money dries up even more that it already had over this tone-deaf political debacle, and Executive Honcho Loaf has to make a personal and pathetic mea culpa to big shot donors to continue funding his generous lifetime salary and benefits. Let this be a lesson to all you youngsters out there; Oh how quickly the mighty can fall ......... and just how quickly those, that are not afraid to brown-nose, can pick themselves back up again.

December - Okay, OKAY!! AC/DC doesn't show up again in 2017, but Thunderstruck Makers finds itself with bigger problems amongst its so-called membership types. It is learned that some people don't like cold-weather tailgates and thus - don't even show up for them, and that some are actually missing home Bison Playoff Games altogether (plug your ears right now if you are queasy of stomach) due to children's events like sports games or band concerts (we TOLD you to plug your ears)! As such, ThM dropped everything that it was just getting ready to think about possibly doing, and issued the ThM History Quiz, , the When to Sit And Stand Rules, the Cold-Weather Tailgating Guide, and the When Is It Okay to Miss Bison Games Guide. (See posts #445, #446, #458, and #459) In hindsight then, it probably was a damn GOOD thing that we didn't bring AC/DC in here before these disgusting attitudes could be corrected. You'll thank us for it later!

[Bison Loaf]

My Dear ThM Constituents, Nemeses, and Subordinates,

I hope you all have had a wonderful couple of weeks of rest and relaxation after Thunderstruck Makers was able to deliver back to you (with a little help, I suppose, from our players and coaching staff), the football title that we ALL had to suffer WITHOUT for an agonizingly-long 12 months of unmitigated message board hell.

I myself, ever the hard-working and shameless opportunist, embarked on a completely tasteless, but totally necessary world-wide victory tour (using the last of our hidden emergency funds buried deep in the bowels of our secret flagship bunker) to arrogantly tout and flaunt our re-ascension to the top of the football and tailgating world.

My first stop, of course, was to Australia, where the lingering intoxication of our recent sweet success caused me to attempt, once and for all, to physically confront and browbeat one Mr. Angus "No-Show" Young (who is, after all, only 5 foot 2 wimpy inches and 62 decrepit years old) into the long-promised and long-awaited appearance by AC/DC for a Fargo tailgate and live intro performance. "Strike while the iron is hot!" is my motto! (twss)

Anyway ..... long (but successful) story made short ........ after a day in the hospital for relatively minor, but painful, jaw-setting and skin-stapling procedures, and after being summarily thrown out of Australia and told never to come back again (don't worry, this is how the Aussie's negotiate, I'm pretty sure), I decided to hop on over to Japan during my convalescence, and spend the rest of "our" remaining funds on sake (through a straw), geisha girls, and high-stakes wagering on naked sumo wrestling (believe me, THAT RIGHT THERE is something one cannot UN-see fast enough).

Was it all worth it? I'll let you be the judge of the amazing talent (see below) that was uncovered for our possible entertainment use this season.

Domo Arigatou and Douitashimashite,

Loafy-san

[Bison Loaf]