AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

[CyPanth]

My Dearest Thunderstruck Makers,

While we are waiting for Emperor Fauci to tell us when it might be safe enough for us to take off our masks, and likewise while we're waiting for the State Board of Higher Tailgating to let us know when it becomes safe to finally bring AC/DC in here for the Live intro and Meet 'n Greet (spoiler alert: neither are anytime soon), I have some bad news to report to all of you. (Why the hell do I always have to be the one to report bad news around here?! That's not part of my leadership package!)

It is with my deepest regret, but at the same time clearly not my fault, that due to lack of funds over this whole Covid-thing-a-ma-jiggy and the decrease in donations over our kneeling protest during the Thunderstruck Intro awhile back (JFC, we said we're sorry already!), Thunderstruck Makers will not be able to include the very popular drink umbrellas as a free perk in your dues package this upcoming West Lot season.

However, if you'll just put down the castration knives for a second, I can also announce these items WILL be made available to you for a very small additional fee of $49.95 for a box of 20. Not only are we offering these beloved items at this amazingly low price, but they will also now come in 4 great colors and have 20 different sayings on them for the first time ever!

Hurry while supplies last! You don't want to be the one idiot standing there without a ThM Drink Umbrella when Angus and The Boys finally show up!

Still Obviously Working Hard For You,
Loaf


Thunderstruck Makers 2021 Drink Umbrellas

• ThM ..... Keeping the sun off your drinks since 2016!
• "Let your smile be your drink umbrella, and you'll end up a milk drinker in Section 20"
• Warning: Do Not Eat
• In case of Covid, break stick and use canopy as a mask
• ThM ..... Keeping the flies off your drinks since 2016!
• Here lies your ThM donations hard at work. Get over it.
• Warning: If you can read this, your lips aren't on the cup
• I was once a lowly GA Tailgater. But look at me standing alone in this corner NOW!
• In case of Disco music outbreak, break stick and use canopy to plug ears
• Drink Umbrella In! Pinky Finger Up! Gameday Face On! #Uppityreservedbastard
• Warning: If umbrella gets frozen in drink during playoffs, put more booze in, dipshit!
• We didn't invent fun, we just put it under a drink umbrella. ThM 2021.
• "Prayer is hoping for a drink, while true faith is carrying around a ThM Drink Umbrella"
• ThM ..... Keeping GA Tailgater mullets out of your drinks since 2016!
• Disclaimer: This device not meant to shed rain or prevent from being Thunder Struck!
• "Love me. Love my ThM Drink Umbrella!"
• In case of porta-potty use, break stick and use canopy as a gas mask
• Warning: If umbrella starts to melt, your drink is mixed properly
• "Touch umbrella, might forgive. Touch my drink, might not live."
• ThM ...... Keeping your lips where the sun won't shine since 2016!

Oh, Supreme Headhoncho In-charge of Tailgating!

[Bison Loaf]

Oh, Supreme Headhoncho In-charge of Tailgating!

Correction: Supreme Head Honcho in charge of Everything!

And what, pray tell are you buttering me up for NOW?!! (TWSS) Last time it was Slipknot at your tailgate. Who is it this time? Naked Lita Ford in just a guitar and a couple of well-placed straps??

Is that what you and your new best friend Roadwarrior came up with while you were out galivanting across the damn Iowa countryside last weekend?? (Hell no, I'm not jealous! - sob, sniffle - It's allergy season!) What am I, Santa Loaf?!!

And for crissakes, Lita's gotta be 80 years old by now! Some of you guys need to grow up around here!

[TransAmBison]

I hate to spread rumors...but I got a text. Seems Loaf has been holding us back. The NDSU tailgate received an offer to join a FBS tailgate conference...and Loaf turned them down. Let's face it folks...Loaf is small-time. He lacks vision. I think he might have even traveled to Hoople once.

[Rock]

I hate to spread rumors...but I got a text. Seems Loaf has been holding us back. The NDSU tailgate received an offer to join a FBS tailgate conference...and Loaf turned them down. Let's face it folks...Loaf is small-time. He lacks vision. I think he might have even traveled to Hoople once.

[Bison Loaf]

I hate to spread rumors...but I got a text. Seems Loaf has been holding us back. The NDSU tailgate received an offer to join a FBS tailgate conference...and Loaf turned them down. Let's face it folks...Loaf is small-time. He lacks vision. I think he might have even traveled to Hoople once.

OMG, the more you flap your gums, the more you don't know!

Okay, YES, YES Dammit, we were offered free and immediate membership in an FBS tailgate conference .......................... but the offer, Mr. Know-It-All, did NOT include Bison Loaf coming along as our enormously high-paid supreme leader, or, frankly, include him coming along AT ALL.

So .............. as anyone can plainly see, it was not a serious offer in the first place.

[Bison Loaf]

I think he might have even traveled to Hoople once.

And as for Hoople, I spent a week in a 24-hour holding cell there once - confused, naked, and afraid (so really not that much different than normal). But those good people were kind enough to spread my cheeks and hose me down with their lone firehose every afternoon, and a lovely old lady named Miss Sophie would bring me day-old donuts and Metamucil every darn morning, just like clockwork. I grew to love that place and I'm pretty sure they grew to love me too!

[Rock]

OMG, the more you flap your gums, the more you don't know!

Okay, YES, YES Dammit, we were offered free and immediate membership in an FBS tailgate conference .......................... but the offer, Mr. Know-It-All, did NOT include Bison Loaf coming along as our enormously high-paid supreme leader, or, frankly, include him coming along AT ALL.

So .............. as anyone can plainly see, it was not a serious offer in the first place.

Supreme Super Head Honcho Loaf Sir! I KNEW if you were exposed for having lied to us, it would be for our own good.

Thank you for protecting us sir!

[Bison Loaf]

Supreme Super Head Honcho Loaf Sir! I KNEW if you were exposed for having lied to us, it would be for our own good.

Thank you for protecting us sir!

You are welcome, Chubs. I learned this important skill from my great-grandfather, Augustus Alexander Fauci Loaf.

[CyPanth]

Correction: Supreme Head Honcho in charge of Everything!

And what, pray tell are you buttering me up for NOW?!! (TWSS) Last time it was Slipknot at your tailgate. Who is it this time? Naked Lita Ford in just a guitar and a couple of well-placed straps??

Is that what you and your new best friend Roadwarrior came up with while you were out galivanting across the damn Iowa countryside last weekend?? (Hell no, I'm not jealous! - sob, sniffle - It's allergy season!) What am I, Santa Loaf?!!

And for crissakes, Lita's gotta be 80 years old by now! Some of you guys need to grow up around here!

You will always be "Supreme Headhoncho In-charge of Tailgating (S.H.I.T.)" to me.

[Bison Loaf]

You will always be "Supreme Headhoncho In-charge of Tailgating (S.H.I.T.)" to me.

You see, this is why you are a Thunderstruck Maker through and through, in spite of your foreign-national status. Seriously Irreverent. Dutifully Sassy. Respectfully Insubordinate. Lawfully Anti-Authoritarian.

You've got all the tools, man, and NOW you've just irresponsibly let the cat out of the bag regarding Phase 4 of the Thunderstruck Makers Cinematic Universe! It's maddening as hell, but respectfully well-played!


Thunderstruck Makers Cinematic Universe

Phase I - 2016-2017: Meet Our Super Heroes
Loaf: God Of Thunderstruck And His Iron Men Of Fermentation

Phase II - 2018-2019: Trouble On The Horizon
The Dark Age Of Do-Gooders, Knitters, And Milkdrinkers

Phase III - 2020-2021: The Blip
ThM And AC/DC Join Up To Fight The Covid Infinity War

Phase IV - 2021-20??: Re-Shaping A World Without Tailgating
The Agents Of S.H.I.T (Supreme Headhoncho In-charge of Tailgating)