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Thread: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

  1. #641
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Uh-oh! This is not good, people. I may be in some really deep do-do this time over this damn "The Face Of Manilow" marketing ploy that we just announced this morning.

    Donations are plummeting, booze contracts are being pulled, the Big-12 nominating committee has asked for an internal investigation of the matter, and UND loved it, asking me to apply for the Presidency of their University and the Head Coach of their football team! I'm not sure things can get any worse!

    The fact is, we are in complete damage-control mode here at ThM headquarters and I have already fired the guys that agreed with me when I told them that, without a doubt, this was one of my best ideas ever! (They were real brown-nosers anyway and, well, I've got plenty more of those around here to sustain me if I ever manage to survive this crisis.) I'm not sure ruining a few lives in the short-term will be enough to save me this time, but it's the least I could do.

    How ironic would it be if Barry Manilow …………… BARRY MANILOW! …………….. was the force that eventually took Thunderstruck Makers down?!?
    Last edited by Bison Loaf; 09-07-2018 at 06:49 PM.

  2. #642
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by TransAmBison View Post
    So Vet70 and I were able to sneak into Loaf's tailgate on Saturday. I have to say I was surprised. Loaf has actually been doing some work behind the scenes (like our athletic dept getting another lot for tailgating) and had a phone sitting on a table. This was listed as the AC/DC direct line...it was to be monitored day and night. That's where the end of my accolades go, though. The phone was ringing and ringing...and nobody was even paying attention. Loaf was talking to two morans that walked in to talk to him. Anyway, somebody finally picked up the phone and it was Brian Johnson calling. He was returning a phone call (honestly, who calls anymore?). Well, when the member of Thunderstruck Makers tried to talk to Brian, he couldn't hear/understand (poor guy) anything and he eventually hung up.

    So Loaf actually did something...but once again dropped the ball by not contacting the band through a means they could communicate through. Seriously...who thinks Brian Johnson could hear somebody on a phone out at tailgate (and not to mention it was an old rotary style phone). Loaf...I will have you removed from office if it is the last thing I do.
    Ohhhhh, so you don't like my communication methods?

    Well what if I were to tell you, in complete confidence of course, that me and my junior honchos were sitting around one night recently, getting completely blitzed to the bejeebers on Thunderstruck Tequila, Bon Scott Bootlegs, and Cheetos Cheese Puffs (the nice big puffy kind, not those worthless little crunchy ones), and we believe that we were actually able to establish contact with the great Malcolm Young via our vintage 1978 Ouija Board (that obviously still had a lot of netherworld zip to it) as it was hooked up to an uninterruptable power supply, a cast iron Bell telephone, AND an old 1980's hair-band guitar amp?!

    I cannot reveal the exciting contents of those ethereal conversations at this time (mostly because none of us drunk bastards thought enough to take notes while it was happening ), and indeed, our perceptions certainly may have been caused by the mind-altering effects of consuming so many damn Cheetos in such a short period of time, but ……….. I gotta tell ya ……. this felt as real as any unicorn, pink elephant or "flagship" football program that I've ever seen!

    The fact is ……… we don't need all your fancy dancy technology bull to get things done! We're Thunderstruck Makers!! We eat thunder and crap orange-colored, cheese flavored excellence!

  3. #643
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    As busy as I am tamping down the severe backlash over our latest juvenile promotional stunt, "The Face of Barry Manilow" Ad Campaign …...... (see it here http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...69#post1293769)

    ………… of which, none of my overpaid junior honcho flunkies ever advised me that this was, without a shadow of a doubt, a really truly awful effin' idea that may or may not have come directly from the top
    ………... (but then again, that never stopped a brilliant, out-of-the-box thinker like me before!)
    ………… I really don't have the time for it, but felt it incumbent upon me, as Supreme Superpower Executive Honcho of this beautiful, wonderful, highly-compensating, yet now under siege ThM organization
    …....… to keep you abreast of the developments with our own classic rock house band, AC/DC
    ………… of which, before all of you prejudiced Manilow-hating bastards attempt to run me out of town on a rail,
    …….…. we need to remind ourselves that NONE of what I outlined below likely happens without our early, steady, creepy and borderline unlawful involvement!


    That legally being said, it looks like our boys ARE getting the band back together - Brian Johnson, Cliff Williams, Phil Rudd, Angus Young, AND the posthumous prior recordings of Malcolm Young's rhythm guitar parts, to record a new album.

    Report: New AC/DC Album To Feature Malcolm Young on Guitar ………… http://loudwire.com/report-new-acdc-...-young-guitar/

    Thunderstruck Makers will likely be a tour stop for this album, IF and ONLY if, current leadership remains in place - with it's current outrageous salary and benefits package still in place, and not a penny less! - to facilitate and negotiate the details. Think it over, Bisonville. You have 30 days.

  4. #644
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    It's Homecoming Week at Thunderstruck Makers!!!


    Thunderstruck Makers Awesomely Awesome Homecoming Week Activities

    Monday Afternoon - Check in & Registration

    After paying your final 10-week installment of your early registration fees, and submitting a $500 cash deposit for any potential damage you may cause during this week's special activities, we'll run you through an intensive and carnally-satisfying background check and security pat down, give you a couple of standard AC/DC lyrics quizzes to make sure you are a full-blooded classic rocker, and take your picture for your commemorative Thunderbolt-shaped Bison Name Tag and Events Pass to this week's upcoming activities.

    Monday Evening - Bowling League Playoffs

    After a hearty dinner of bowling alley pizza and full cash bar, you are invited to come cheer on your hometown ThM Honchos bowling team as it attempts to win it's very first playoff game in the history of the organization! Come see for yourself the extreme athleticism that our boys put on display each and every Monday evening, right up until the time that they've finally had a few too many (it's surprising how little time that takes) and they call for the gutter bumpers to be deployed immediately (or else)! This is also an excellent time to satisfy your own selves, dammit, that Loaf's constant whining and insistence on always being the team's 'clean-up' bowler every night, has not, in any way, shape, or form, been the cause of the less-than-stellar league results for this team over the past number of years (or at least back to when he started).

    Tuesday Evening - Thunderstruck Tequila Uppity-Bastard Taste Testing Extravaganza

    Be sure you don't miss this evening's high-class and high-brow taste testing event, complete with some kind of unpronounceable stinky cheese served with fancy-ass salt-free crackers. We will be offering free (within reason) samples of ThM's mondo-popular 'Pork-Rind' flavored Thunderstruck Tequila that was just introduced last year. Later in the evening, we will be unveiling our newest Thunderstruck Tequila flavor .... 'Grill Scrapings' ...... that we have very high hopes for in making us a monetary killing in the near future. We'll have classic AC/DC tunes playing in the background with a fully amped up orchestra, and remember that formal wear IS required for this event. Men must be in Angus Young-style schoolboy outfits with some sort of tie, while women must be in very tight-fitting, low-cut, hip-high party dresses. Also remember to have your Reserved Tailgating Passes available for exclusive entry. This event is NOT, under any circumstances remotely imaginable, open to GA tailgaters.

    Tuesday Evening - The GA Tailgaters Beer and Pork Bellies Hoedown

    Come and join the rest of your friends (except those snotty damned Reserve Tailgaters) for a special evening of comradery and debauchery! Put on your finest duds, wash your mullets, and get yer finest, gussied-up gal to kick up yer heels behind locked, sound-proof doors. We'll have semi-cold beer on tap (but make sure it is in a cup, dammit) to wash down a vast selection of grilled pork bellies, racoon carcasses, tater tots and corn nuts. Be sure to start lining up in your vehicles before 6 am this morning out in the Rugby Field if you want to get in for this event. We'll have tow trucks available on site when your rusty pickups don't start later in the day. Then, once jackboot security lets you into the party, we'll have country music blaring at you like stuck hogs, trigger-happy snipers staked around the perimeter in case someone touches your belt knife or key chain, and portable showers in the hallways to take some of that unbearable stank away that you came in with. Come on out, enjoy the evening, and lock the door when you leave!

    Wednesday Evening - ThM Wet Pom-Pom Contest & Silent Auction

    Think you've got the best pom-poms on the block? Here's your chance to prove it!! Enter your favorite play things in our Wet Pom-Pom Contest. Categories that win cash prizes (and earn our undying drooling devotion to) include: Biggest Poms, Perkiest Poms, Most Natural Looking Poms, Best Retro Poms, Easiest Handling Poms, Stiffest Poms, Loosest Poms, and Poms That Perform The Best Right Out Of The Box; all while wet!!!! While that crap is going on, wander on over to our Silent Auction where you can bid a ton of money on things like "We'll Be Right Back' Signs Confiscated From The GA Tailgating Lineup, A Package of Hard-To-Find ThM Drink Umbrellas, 2 Free Passes Into The Rugby Field Overflow Lot, One "Jump Ahead In The Porta-Potty Line" Pass, A Season's Worth Of Escorts Around The Fargo Dome Metal Detectors, A Rare Picture of Bison Loaf and Angus Young Leg Wrestling, and 200 Million valuable and rarely awarded ThM Priority Points that might really be worth something someday.

    Thursday Morning - Thunderstruck Makers Unveils A Great New Service And Releases Another Cut From Its Best-Selling Album 'Back In Smack'

    Join us for the Grand Unveiling of Thunderstruck Maker's latest and greatest constituent tailgating service - The West Lot SQWAT Team! Do you get tired, dammit, of all the bull-crap rules for tailgating out in our beloved West Lot (aka Thunder Tundra)!?! Well have we got a deal for YOU!!! Join us and the rest of the rockin' free world on Thursday as we unveil our latest stroke of unmitigated brilliance ....... AND we butcher up the lyrics to another AC/DC Classic for no other reason than to shamelessly help us plug this exciting new service! So, come back on Thursday and don't miss a chance to see real business innovators at work!

    Friday Evening - ThM Homecoming Parade

    Forget about the NDSU Homecoming Parade. Join us out in the Rugby Field as we take the place over in style (after, that is, the GA tailgaters are finally allowed to leave and line-up on the street for the night). We throw out candy, we throw out booze, We throw out undergarments, we throw out live puppies ......... anything it takes to get you in the mood for some Bison tailgating!! The floats and performers that are scheduled to appear (pending city permitting and misdemeanor legal interpretations) are: A Three-Pole Strip Wagon, Circus Clowns that jump out and make kids cry (they're hilarious!), The Jacksonville State Marching Band, The Big-12 Conference (trying to brown-nose us again), Huge Belgian Horses crapping all over the place followed by the Mountain West Conference float stuck on cleanup duty, The UND Helmet car with Bubba throwing out free Fawkers game tickets, A Bisonville float throwing out free T-shirts, A Joose Truck, and, the Grand Finale - An Angus Young Look-A-Like, mooning the crowd and pretending to slap up a mock dummy of Bison Loaf! It's gonna be great!

    Saturday Morning - Gameday Lineup & ThM Hospitality Social

    Now you can feel like a real tailgater the one time a year that you come to a Bison game. We'll park you out in a noxious weed patch well north of the Fargo Dome where you can sip warm non-alcoholic drinks and gorge on sour spinach dip with the likes of TransAmBison and Vet70, and then bad-mouth Pat Simmers with a real professional like TheSoCalledFan (disclaimer: TSCF's availablilty at any given game is subject to change on any old whim of his). Then we'll get you into a single-file 3 hour line-up, just like the big boys do, to get access into the Thunderstruck Makers Hospitality Tent where, for a fee, you can hob-nob with some of the biggest names known in world tailgating circles. Once there, we'll raise a toast to you with multiple shots of Thunderstruck Tequila, show you how top-notch good-natured smack is delivered at your own expense, and give you a nasty, barf-inducing, pee-dancing port-a-potty experience that you can tell your grandkids about one day! Finish your Homecoming Week experience off right, with a headache and memories that will cause you to schedule a catscan first thing Monday Morning! We're Thunderstruck Makers. Accept No Substitutes!

  5. #645
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Mr. Supreme Superpower Executive Honcho Loaf Sir- you have outdone yourself once again.

    Brilliant move brown nosing the Big 12 showing off those show horses. Bowlsby has backed off the investigation after the all but forgotten “Manilow Incident.” This is straight from GT. Things are very much back in motion for a Nebraska wooing and promise of a new northern tier structure in the conference involving at least one new “dark horse conference member”. His words not mine- I got the text.

    It will be a homecoming week we will celebrate from the hilltops (or top of tailgate rigs lacking the hills and all) and forever try to remember.


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  6. #646
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by I miss Chubs View Post
    Mr. Supreme Superpower Executive Honcho Loaf Sir- you have outdone yourself once again.

    Brilliant move brown nosing the Big 12 showing off those show horses. Bowlsby has backed off the investigation after the all but forgotten “Manilow Incident.” This is straight from GT. Things are very much back in motion for a Nebraska wooing and promise of a new northern tier structure in the conference involving at least one new “dark horse conference member”. His words not mine- I got the text.

    It will be a homecoming week we will celebrate from the hilltops (or top of tailgate rigs lacking the hills and all) and forever try to remember.
    Never ever underestimate, dear pupil, the ability of large, aromatic mounds of draft horse pooh to effectively grab someone by the nose hairs and proclaim "we're here, dammit, and we're now ready to entertain your offers for immediate, fee-free conference membership". Just another reason why I get the big paycheck around here.

    There ends the lesson.

  7. #647
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    How has everyone's ThM Homecoming activities been so far?

    Me? Busier than hell, frankly. I'm still trying to deflect all the blame off of myself (and onto some other unsuspecting sap) for the most recent public relations disasters we've had in the "Highway to Hell' country music cover (see it here ………….. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...23#post1287023 ) and the "Face of Manilow" advertising campaign (see it here …………….. http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...69#post1293769 ) Gosh, a guy makes two little mistakes in his entire lifetime , and suddenly the long knives come out faster than you can say "Looks Like We Made It"!

    Meanwhile, we're now busy negotiating terms with Gameday for another appearance next weekend, but this time we're bound and determined not to let them push us around. Bottom line: either Samantha Ponder shows up in a bikini riding Corso the Bison, or we walk. Game, set, match, Thunderstruck Makers.

    But before we impress you TOO much with our natural-born machismo (not that there's anything wrong with that), we promised you an unveiling ceremony today and dammit, you're going to get one whether you want it or not! So now, without any further ado, we introduce our newest service, The West Lot SQWAT Team, a bunch of ne'er-do-well stealth commandos (actually going 'commando' ) that come in with guns and booze bottles blazing, and solve (by any means possible, legal or otherwise) all your first-world tailgating problems that (for good reason) nobody ever seems to listen to. And we do all this for the well-being of our constituents and for a large, hefty fee ……... because we know you've got the cash and, honestly, nobody likes a whiner either. Combine the two and, well, THAT's just good business!


    West Lot Needs (Not Done Cheap!) ….

    You leave work early and you park your rigs
    so full of alcohol,
    Out to the place where you line up like pigs
    and wait for night to fall.
    Can't leave the cab, or start a bar tab
    Just gotta stay in line.
    But we'll save your spot, for all that you've got
    and have you back just in time!

    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    (You're a GA gaiter, and we know you're cheap)
    (We'd like to help you, but we charge a heap)

    You get up early and you drive your rigs
    so full of booze and whine,
    To the reserved line and your rich man's digs
    get there and snooze til nine.
    But something is wrong! The line's effin' long!
    "Don't they know who I am?!!"
    Well pull out your cash, and we'll fix it fast!
    If not, nobody gives a damn!!

    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    (We know you've got it, and we don't come cheap)
    (You love to flaunt it, so we charge a heap)
    Yeahhh

    You can't be bothered like the rest of the race
    who love their alcohol.
    You won't come early but you want a place
    to park and have a ball.
    What?! NO overflows!? Man, that really blows!!
    Where can my bandwagon land?
    For a large ugly fee, we're happy to see
    You party hard in "rugby land"! Hey!

    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
    (We know you've got it, and your worth runs deep) yeah
    (The needs are heavy, and we don't come cheap)
    (You love to flaunt it, til it's time to leap)
    (So fork it over, man, we don't come cheap!)

    Reserve Notes, Mutual Funds, Golden Rings
    (We don't come cheap!)
    Trust Funds, Prepaid Funerals, Shiny Things
    (We don't come cheap!)
    ahhhhh
    Last edited by Bison Loaf; 11-12-2021 at 03:10 PM.

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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Mr. Supreme Superpower Executive Head Honcho Loaf Sir, this is your best yet.

    Quick update- Gameday to Fargo hinges much more on what happens behind closed doors in Irvine, Texas this week than at any P5 stadium.

    I am currently hunkering down on a wall in a hallway exterior to the conference room with a drinking glass to my ear.

    Can’t hear much, but they did discuss how the Big 12 Horses being part of the ThM Homecoming activities was a baller move for about 5 minutes.

    They also said the tequila you sent tastes like everclear with a lime squeezed into it.


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    Default AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by I miss Chubs View Post
    Mr. Supreme Superpower Executive Head Honcho Loaf Sir, this is your best yet.

    Quick update- Gameday to Fargo hinges much more on what happens behind closed doors in Irvine, Texas this week than at any P5 stadium.

    I am currently hunkering down on a wall in a hallway exterior to the conference room with a drinking glass to my ear.

    Can’t hear much, but they did discuss how the Big 12 Horses being part of the ThM Homecoming activities was a baller move for about 5 minutes.

    They also said the tequila you sent tastes like everclear with a lime squeezed into it.
    Great work, Sargent!

    Let me know the minute they start mentioning anything about (1) bringing back Samantha Ponder, (2) skimpy bikinis, or (3) Loaf being a real dick.

    Then we’ll know we have them!

  10. #650
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Getting pretty sloppy in there after the 6th “tequila” shot. Lot of talk about Sam Ponder, but not related to Gameday Fargo III anymore. The Oklahoma and Texas constituents mostly just keep interrupting yelling “yee-haw! Who wants another taq-evercleera?!?”

    I do think it is a done deal though.


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