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Thread: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

  1. #501
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by CyPanth View Post
    I haven't been on the site for weeks, but I was reassured that all is well in Bison-land when I saw this thread had recent posts. It continues to deliver!
    Little do you know, CyPanth, that all is NOT well around here behind the scenes. The only reason it seams as such is because of the seamless, highly professional honchoism that everyone takes for granted in these parts (yet will not adequately or equitably compensate a person for it). You would think that our football dominance and our primo tailgating atmosphere would keep the Thundering Herd at bay, but in fact, we are putting out fires every single day, and this damn Axl Rose DEFCON 2 thing (see it here ..... http://www.bisonville.com/forum/show...28#post1267128) is making everybody crazy!

    Take a peek at this letter that recently snuck through our "bad news" censors, and almost wrecked a perfectly fine buzz from a freshly opened bottle of our newly-created 'Pork Rind" flavored Thunderstruck Tequila.



    To the Powers-That-Be at ThM,

    When I signed up for Thunderstruck Makers, I was promised a hell of a good time, 7 straight football championships (not this 6 out of 7 crap), endless alcohol, jiggly pom-poms, a gnarly AC/DC live appearance, and unlimited general admission tailgating space. Instead, I get drafted into service for some stupid-ass Axl Rose battle that nobody gives a crap about in the first damn place. Hell, the plain truth is, I actually LIKE Axl Rose!

    So here I am, in a dirty damn foxhole with no booze and no smokes, tired, hungry, cold and standing in a puddle of my own piss ..... opening a freaking fundraising letter from ThM telling me I must up my donation levels if you are ever going to get AC/DC (sans Axl Rose) in here for a Live Intro and Meet n' Greet, let alone get an invite to the Big-12 Football Conference. WTF! Have you no self awareness nor compassion for those of us out here on the front lines fighting your dirty little battles?

    Signed,
    Redacted for Security Purposes




    Dear 'Redacted",

    Its pretty obvious, son, that you are suffering from a severe case of tailgating deprivation. But, we can assure you, that those of us back in the plushy confines of our own warm beds and well-stocked bunkers, are also suffering greatly along with you in these dangerous and uncertain times. First, all hell broke loose when NDSU changed their spring game to a Friday Night. Then, we lost the much-coveted "Joose" beverage endorsement (along with the free taste-testing and tax cheating event planned for this fall) to our rivals down at SDSU. Damn that hurt. And finally, just the other day, our beloved leader Loaf had to actually eat a steak that wasn't properly marbled or marinated, and forced to wash it down with multiple shots of lukewarm Jägermeister! LUKEWARM DAMN JAGERMEISTER, FOR EFF SAKES!

    So, you are more than likely feeling a little embarrassed right now about your petty little bitching and whining, but we DO understand the pressures you are under. Axl Rose and the Mountain West Conference have that kind of debilitating effect on people. Just know that another Championship Bison Football season is not too far away, and that we'll all soon be back where we belong in the Thunder Tundra West Lot singing 'kumbaya' while binge drinking, talking smack, shaking pom poms and greatly enjoying ......... if both parties don't royally screw us over again ........ timeless, LIVE, and authentic AC/DC music within the confines of an inaugural Big-12 Conference tailgate!!

    No thanks needed here. We do it all for you.

    Sincerely,
    Thunderstruck Makers

    P.S. Dont forget to BOTH up your ThM donation level substantially, AND send it in as soon as possible. In fact, just go ahead and 'overnight' it right now. Many thanks!

  2. #502
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    I'm just glad that Iowa State went away from using Thunderstruck as its intro (as it did during the 2016 season). The imminent thread of a lawsuit from you guys was like a thunderstorm cloud just hanging over Jack Trice Stadium for the entire season.

    I still can't believe that our new, super young, hip coaching staff picked Thunderstruck for the intro of their first season. It is a great song, but belongs in the ears of aging, beer-belly'd AC/DC fans like you.
    "You should host seminars on how to behave on opposing fan forums. Charge a pretty penny toward that Bison tailgating rig. " from Milkman 1/6/2016

  3. #503
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by CyPanth View Post
    I'm just glad that Iowa State went away from using Thunderstruck as its intro (as it did during the 2016 season). The imminent thread of a lawsuit from you guys was like a thunderstorm cloud just hanging over Jack Trice Stadium for the entire season.

    I still can't believe that our new, super young, hip coaching staff picked Thunderstruck for the intro of their first season. It is a great song, but belongs in the ears of aging, beer-belly'd AC/DC fans like you.
    Of what you speak is all deliciously and undeniably true.

  4. #504
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Man, that Pat Simmers and the rest of the NDSU crew are some smooth operators! I just recently got my personal letter of thanks along with my Team Makers Athletic Fund stickers and, you know, maybe that damn Fanette was right. Maybe I DO need to be a little more thankful for all of our own dear Thunderstruck Makers Members and send them each a personal note of thanks. I mean, I actually DID have a letter written and ready to go out, but now ....... when I put it next to Simmers's note ........ mine seems to be lacking a little something. I don't know what it is, but it just doesn't SOUND right for some reason. Then again, maybe I'm just imagining things. With my spotless track record, I'm sure I probably am.


    From the NDSU Athletic Fund

    April, 9, 2018

    Dear Bison and Geneva Loaf,

    Thank you for your support of Bison Athletics through your donation to Team Makers. 2017 proved to be another record year for fundraising and our membership numbers climbed to over 4,000 for the first time.

    Your Team Maker donation has helped our student-athletes continue to raise the bar both on the fields and courts and in the classroom. A total of 425 student-athletes recorded an overall grade point average of 3.35 during the 2017 fall semester. 96 of these student-athletes achieved a perfect 4.0 and 70% of our student-athletes recorded a gap of 3.0 or above. Our student-athlete performance is a model for institutions, at every level, across this great country.

    It is your support that allows them to continue to reach for the stars. Thank you for being a Team Maker and helping our student-athletes dreams come true.

    Go Bison!!

    Sincerely

    <Pat>
    Pat Simmers
    Sr. Assoc. AD/Team Makers Exec Director




    From the ThM AC/DC Meet ’N Greet Fund,
    a 501c3 non-profit organization
    (well, technically, the non-profit part is true)

    April 9, 2018

    Dear What’s-Your-Name,

    Thank you for your support of Thunder Tundra Tailgating through your important, yet admittedly meager, donation to Thunderstruck Makers. 2017 proved to be another great year in which ThM did all the heavy lifting around here, and our membership numbers even managed to climb to well over 20 people for the first time ever (not all of them contributing straight cash, however).

    Your Thunderstruck Makers donation has (sort of) helped us get closer to the ever-elusive (and that's not our fault) AC/DC Live Intro appearance and the Big-12 Football membership that we so richly deserve, and continues to raise the bar for the tremendous success of our raucous tailgating atmosphere, our court-mandated anger management courses, and our online “flagship” finger-flipping classrooms. In addition, we’ve brilliantly managed to pull one over on a total of 55 potential new student-recruits from across the country who recorded an astounding 1.07 grade point average during the 2017 fall semester at some institution, some where …… our most brainiac bunch of potential future ThM members ever! This type of student-recruit performance is what continues to bring our progressive organization out of the sophomoric, low-brow, Good-Time-Charlie dark ages, and into a new and more sophisticated level of debauchery.

    It is your support, even though you continue to insolently ignore our higher recommended donation levels, that allows us to hope that one day the good people that we serve will be able to pull their heads out of their collective asses and finally “get it” as to the great stuff we’re actually trying to do for them. But, screw those dimwits! THIS letter is to personally thank YOU for (1) openly admitting to being a Thunderstruck Maker, (2) never calling us EVER, and (3) helping (in your minuscule way) to make the rock-n-roll dreams of an entire tailgating nation come true.

    Long Live ThM!

    Sincerely,

    <Loafy>
    Bison Loaf
    Thunderstruck Makers Primo Executive Lifetime Super-Honcho and All-Around Good Guy

  5. #505
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    After thoroughly critiquing the letter...
    I found it to be grammatically correct, bursting with respect, profuse in gratitude, overflowing with inspiration, abounding in praise, and generously encouraging continued support or allegiance of its' members to ThM. PL speaks about "reaching for the stars" ... you correlate that with "rock-n-roll dreams of tailgaters." I think you've skillfully accomplished what you set out to do.
    Put a stamp on it!
    (Who the hell is Geneva?) ?
    I HAVE A RED POODLE WHO'S NAME IS GENEVA!

  6. #506
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    Default AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by bisonfanette View Post
    After thoroughly critiquing the letter...
    I found it to be grammatically correct, bursting with respect, profuse in gratitude, overflowing with inspiration, abounding in praise, and generously encouraging continued support or allegiance of its' members to ThM. PL speaks about "reaching for the stars" ... you correlate that with "rock-n-roll dreams of tailgaters." I think you've skillfully accomplished what you set out to do.
    Put a stamp on it!
    (Who the hell is Geneva?) [emoji782]?
    I HAVE A RED POODLE WHO'S NAME IS GENEVA!
    High praise, indeed, dear woman! And what the hell was I thinking ever questioning ANYTHING I ever do. Forget the stamps! We may bronze this sucker and prominently display it within the ThM Hospitality Tent this fall, for all of the under-donating masses to gaze upon it's splendor. If we have to, we'll even put up a slightly smudged paper copy out on a telephone pole for all the animals in the 5-mile long, 3 day advance general admission line to look at, too.


    Geneva ....... Oh, that's just my drop-dead gorgeous, filthy-rich, arm-candy Bride #7. But I refuse to be goaded into talking about all the marital issues we're having over her irresponsible behavior in allowing me to squander her vast fortune. Frankly, it's going to be tough for me to forgive her for that (sob, sniffle), so, as is only proper, Bride #8 has already been identified and located.
    Last edited by Bison Loaf; 04-17-2018 at 02:24 PM.

  7. #507
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Found something better than the dude playing thunderstruck on the bagpipes

    https://youtu.be/g50Un5QD2u0
    "For pass rushers, trying to tackle Carson Wentz is like trying to tackle a pissed off grizzly bear. He is a fu**ing animal both in and out of the pocket. And when you inevitably fail to to get him on the ground he's got the arm talent to make you pay for it." -Brett Kollmann from The Film Room Ep. 50

  8. #508
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by TNbison View Post
    Found something better than the dude playing thunderstruck on the bagpipes

    https://youtu.be/g50Un5QD2u0
    Better? Better? ................... Oh, I think I know where THIS is all heading.

    "Loaf isn't even trying to get good acts in here, let alone bring in AC/DC"
    "Loaf has no plan and is too secretive about everything"
    "Loaf doesn't care about the common fan"
    "Loaf consistently double dips into the queso"
    "Loaf picks his nose in public"
    "Loaf doesn't wash his hands after wiping his ass"
    "Loaf is impotent"

    Dammit, people! Not this again! I can tell all you rabble-rousers, with an 87% level of certainty, that only 3 or 4 (maybe 5, max) of these things are even remotely true, so quit complaining and criticizing, and get your facts straight! We've ALL got to pull together here ..... intellectually, hygienically, financially, flagshipishly, intoxicatingly and pleasurably ..... if we are ever going to pump up and stimulate ourselves enough to quickly rise and harden for action, and then perform those actions with a firm duty to consummate them quickly and efficiently to our sole satisfaction, without regard to the feelings or needs of others, if any, involved.

    ............... Oh come on! I'm referring to an AC/DC appearance, of course. Sheesh.


    In the mean time, you'll be happy to know, that we are "working our butts off" around here just for you, and ......... (wait for it) ........... we found something better than the dude playing Thunderstruck on the bagpipes.
    Last edited by Bison Loaf; 04-20-2018 at 07:04 PM.

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