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Thread: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

  1. #781
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by Bison Loaf View Post
    Oh, this is legit, Member TransAmBison, this, like all information on this entire thread (except maybe CAS's and RTO's posts) is most definitely legit.

    We cannot, however, by legal and binding confidentiality agreement with the CIA, the World Health Organization, or the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, either confirm OR deny that Mr. Loaf is back in charge at Thunderstruck Makers, nor indeed, if he ever truly left in the first place. So, you will just have to trust that whomever is currently at the helm around here ………… is doing the kind of "Loaf-level" type of work that we've all come to expect out of this organization. That being said, we believe that our latest initiative "The 2020 ThM-AC/DC-Coronavirus Cancellation Over World Health Concerns", speaks for itself in that regard.

    Best Wishes Always,

    ThM Secret and Silent Management
    I am curious as to what measures Thunderstruck Makers is taking to not add to the climate change issue? I mean, what are you doing to combat the excessive amount of CO2 being produced? And by excessive, I mean Lakes' ego size.

    Notorious--Bisonville all-time POTY
    Proud member of TOHBTC[/B]

  2. #782
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    They say the virus originated in China, but ask yourself this: What lengths would Loaf go to in order to cover up his incompetence?
    The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
    Paul Fix
    .

  3. #783
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    But........If I'm stricken by the Corona Virus and fall over dead in a Chinese forest, will my 1981 Back in Black 8 track make a sound?

  4. #784
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Quote Originally Posted by TransAmBison View Post
    I am curious as to what measures Thunderstruck Makers is taking to not add to the climate change issue?
    Oh we definitely ARE adding to man-made climate change around here and will NOT apologize for it. In fact, we celebrate it here at ThM. The amount of methane generated from a full day of consuming massive quantities of rot-gut liquor and huge, heaping helpings of scrambled eggs at tailgating is, quite simply, environmentally GINORMOUS! Yeah, yeah, yeah we're killing the planet, but to our credit . we're having great fun doing it!

    We are, however, considering charging a hefty climate tax on each individual's methane footprint. That, and a good pair of nose plugs, oughta do it for us.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vet70 View Post
    They say the virus originated in China, but ask yourself this: What lengths would Loaf go to in order to cover up his incompetence?
    Serious charges, indeed, Member Vet70. You can be assured that we will look into it, post haste. It still doesn't change the fact, however, that AC/DC was successfully booked, and now must be cancelled for the greater good of all mankind.

    Darn it the luck.

    Quote Originally Posted by IzzyFlexion View Post
    But........If I'm stricken by the Corona Virus and fall over dead in a Chinese forest, will my 1981 Back in Black 8 track make a sound?
    We would feel quite confident, Member Flexion, in saying that it would STILL blow your cold, dead, rotting eardrums (and maybe a bit of your brain) out, all over the Chinese forest floor. Then, virus pandemic or not, all the oppressed masses of the world will see and learn that truly: Rock and Roll ain't noise pollution, Rock and Roll will never die!

    And they all said . Aaaaaaaa-men.

  5. #785
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Bison Loaf Self-Quarantine Day Number 288:

    Current Body Temperature: Normal at 91.4 degrees
    Weight Loss: A gain of 45 pounds
    Exercise routine: Little to none
    Cheeto supply: Dangerously low
    Entertainment and Mental Stimulation: AC/DC's 'Powerage' album on continuous loop
    Sexual Activity: Data Not Available. Unrelated note: Tissue supply also getting dangerously low
    Amount of Hours of ThM Business Conducted: Incalculable @ 325/hr. Where do I send the bill?
    Websites Visited: 10,582 (including adult sites)
    Accrued Tax on Methane Footprint During Quarantine: $563,876
    Personal Letters and Emails Requesting Designation as Essential Personnel: 72 and counting
    Number of Requests Rejected: 72 unanswered so far due to obvious mail and internet issues in D.C.
    Projected Quarantine Time Left Until Deemed Safe To Return To Society: I have heard "two weeks" for 30 straight weeks now.

  6. #786
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Bison Loaf Self-Quarantine Day Number 325

    Current Body Temperature: Rising rapidly at 95.1 degrees. Am sitting in an emergency ice bath, but that puts me out of ice for my liquor, not to mention all the horrifying shrivel I'm seeing.
    Weight Loss: Good news - Got the 3-day runs and lost 15 pounds. Bad news - Concerned about all the bright orange color in my fecal matter.
    Exercise Routine: Dammit, have you ever tried to work out with a bad case of the runs!?! Let's just say me and my sweat are not the only runners.
    Cheeto Supply: Down to cutting the individual Cheetos into 3rds, and then only eating half a bag of them every 2 hours.
    Entertainment and Mental Stimulation: AC/DC's 'Powerage' album now starting to wear out, so I'm performing the AC/DC classics on my own ........... and if I do say so myself ................ I fricken rock!
    Sexual Activity: Data not available. Unrelated note - "Ask a Nurse" has banned me from calling, and why has my therapy dog been removed?
    Amount of Hours of ThM Business Conducted: Not one minute more until I get my last invoiced paid. I mean it, Trump!
    Number of Books Read: Just need one book, people - the Good Book, of course, in these trying times .. "AC/DC: Maximum Rock and Roll" by Murray Engleheart, gnarly forward by Bison Loaf
    Supportive Messages From Bisonvillers: 5 in just 300 days - My God! They like me, they really, really like me!

    TAB - to tell me his legal action to have me removed at ThM has now been postponed by COVID-19, but he's not giving up on it. Also to have a nice day. (Aw. Thanks TAB!)
    CAS - to tell me to simply STFU and "Go Eff Myself". Also to pass along that Hail Bison says "Eat Shit, Asshole". (Folks, this is strangely conforting at a time like this. Thanks, boys!))
    I Miss Chubs - to tell me not to worry, Supreme Leader, the Cheetos and Liquor black market shipment is on the way! (Bless his heart and don't forget the ice, dammit!)
    Roadwarrior - to notify me that his 60-year old cooler got damaged at the last ThM Hospitality Tent event and he wants it repaired, pronto! Also to thank me for making his moderator job easier by not being around. (Nice of you to say, Road!)
    RTO - to tell me that my hot young wife says 'hello'! (Thanks for checking in on her buddy!)

    Projected Quarantine Time Left Until Deemed Safe To Return To Society: 2 weeks!

  7. #787
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Bison Loaf Self-Quarantine Day Number 387

    Current Body Temperature: Good news! Holding steady now at 95.1 degrees. The ice in my emergency ice bath has melted, of course, and the water I'm sitting in is now yellow and kind of smelly, but at least I'm not so damn hot all the time.
    Weight Loss: The bout with "The Runs" is over and the blackmarket Cheeto supply finally came in (Late as it was, dammit Chubs!). Gained the 15 lbs. back and another 10 for good measure. Screw you, Mr. Virus!!
    Exercise Routine: Started doing a few arm curls while in the ice bath and my guns are getting huge. If I ever get out of here, I'm gonna need some tight t-shirts (well, tight in the arms and loose down below) to show these puppies off.
    Cheeto Supply: Figured out what the orange color was in my fecal matter, so nobody needs to worry. Also my skin is getting an odd glowing tan and I haven't been outside for over a year. Has the CDC ever even tried Cheetos to cure this virus thing? It's a miracle drug in itself and I'm sensing a potential cash bonanza for Thunderstruck Makers!
    Entertainment and Mental Stimulation: AC/DC's 'Powerage' album became unplayable and I went into catatonic shock for a short while, and while that was pleasently reminiscent of my lost years in the early 70's, I don't recommend it for other virus sufferers!
    Sexual Activity: Still No Data Available. Unrelated note - Running out of hand lotion now and even Nancy Pelosi is starting to look real good. What the hell is wrong with me?!
    Amount of Hours of ThM Business: I'm working on this Cheeto Cure idea, but cant' get the government to send me the equipment or test supplies I need for it. I'm starting to think it's all a big scam. And believe me. I know scams!
    Number of books read: Had a lapse in faith after the 'Powerage' album went down and read "Barry Manilow The Biography" by Patricia Butler, and "The Official Guide to Disco Dance Steps" by Jack & Kathleen Villari. Please don't hold this lapse of judgement against me. It's the virus, I tell you, the virus! It's a real nasty bastard and it will stop at nothing in trying to break you. On a positive note, I will have a bunch of nifty foot moves to show off if the ThM Hospitality Tent ever opens up again this fall.
    Supportive messages from Bisonvillers: 2 more - and they are real tear-jerkers, so brace yourself:

    Bison"FAN"atic - to tell me that I am not really sick and that if I can't get AC/DC in here for a Live Intro Performance this season, then I might as well just hurry up and die. (It obvious that this dear man doesn't want me to suffer. Precious.)
    BisonFanette - to tell me that she has already invested too much time and emotion into this project, and that she is ready to start adoring a new ThM Honcho if anyone looks like they might have more success with AC/DC than I have. (A case of "if you love it, set it free" Eh dear lady? What a lovely sentiment!)

    But don't worry, people! Don't worry! Have I ever let you down before? I'm going to beat this thing and come back stronger and better than ever. You all (well technically, not ALL of you) deserve someone like me, and as you can clearly see, I am working just as hard as I ever have, making sure that you get the kind of rock and roll tailgating dreams that only I (and a certain percentage of your charitable cash giving) can provide.

    Here's the good news in this time of crisis!!!! ..............................

    Projected Quarantine Time Left Until Deemed Safe To Return To Society: A mere 2 weeks!

  8. #788
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Supreme Head Honcho Loaf Sir!

    I apologize for the delay in Cheetos and with your permission to speak freely- in fairness to my efforts I had been outside your door for 18 hours waiting to confirm delivery with you.

    Thank you for the opportunity sir!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  9. #789
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    Finally, finally, finally! After 585 days of self-isolation for the greater good of all mankind, I get this correspondence from the SBOHTvT (The State Board of Higher Tailgating and Viral Testing)!


    Dear Mr. Loaf,

    We have reviewed your numerous requests for relief from your semi-voluntary self-containment lockdown and semi-INvoluntary solitary confinement that successfully concealed you away from the people of this great State of Tailgating, and we are now ready to outline a detailed 16-week plan for your eventual release back into the faux tailgating community (God help us all). Please be advised that this plan has nothing to do with your very annoying multiple demands to be designated as an "essential" person of importance during this crisis. In fact, if we've told you a million times, we'll tell you again ........... the answer is no, No, NO! Nothing about what you do is even remotely "essential"! That being said, there IS a small but persistent faction of your most ardent supporters and admirers who are, quite inexplicably, looking to you for direction in their useless and wasted viral lives. The fear of no tailgating this season, and the continued fear of no AC/DC at that tailgate, has the handful of people that still believe Thunderstruck Makers can make something happen with it, quite concerned. So, in deference to them, and at the risk of massive liability claims filed against us by all others, here is the 3-phase plan and terms for your return to the general population (God help us all).


    Phase 1 - Physical Cleansing - 3 weeks

    1. The assigned nurse outside your door during this phase is required to take your temperature each morning before you leave, to verify that you don't have a contagious fever. Please don't cause a scene over it and no, the nurse is NOT required to take your temperature rectally, no matter how many times you insist.

    2. You must be slowly weened off your Cheetos addiction for a period of 7 days, until you are down to just 1 cup a day. We will know when you have complied with this step because you will have stopped bragging about the "beautiful sunset color of your latest crap" to all your friends.

    3. Physically, you must be able to show us that you have the stamina to return to society by doing 3 consecutive man-style push-ups everyday for 3 days straight. We can't help but say, "Ha-ha, good luck with that, you lazy effin' slob"! (Sorry, that was a bit unprofessional, but can you blame us for it?)


    Phase 2 - Emotional Stability - 3 weeks

    1. Everyone can be a bit emotional during these trying times, but to actually weep over the slightest things like an empty Dome parking lot, a rusty unused grill, a dusty shot glass, and a crushed beer can that Roadwarrior drained and never cleaned up from the ThM trailer, is quite concerning behavior, even for you. Stop it. Now.

    2. You must show that you can play your beloved AC/DC tunes at a reasonable volume and not ever again try to "blow the doors, windows and ear drums off those nasty voices in my head" that you so regularly become unglued and unstable over.

    3. Yes, we all miss Bison football, but you must end your very odd use of an indoor rented port-a-potty (you have a regular bathroom, for crissakes!) and your very concerning habit of jumping up and yelling "Everybody up for the kickoff, the March is On!" each time you need to use said port-a-potty.


    Phase 3 - Protecting The Public - 10 weeks

    1. You must wear a mask while out in public, but that mask may NOT be full-faced at any time, nor, for very obvious legal reasons, depict the caricaturized images of Angus Young, Pat Simmers (he's retired now, you know), Barry Manilow, Dr. Fauci, Axl Rose, Runtheoption, or Chuck E. Cheese.

    2. You are limited to one single six-pack of regular beer (not malt liquor) each week, and are not to resume your previous habit of telling the poor store clerk to "Stand down, the bulge in my pocket is not a gun!". Despite your belief otherwise, they do NOT think it's funny.

    3. You must avoid all unsanitary contact with Wuhan bats, Boomtown rats, Chinese grub, Irish pubs, stripper poles, facial moles, Izzyflexion, TransAmBision, fingers up your nose, jam between your toes, and small-town North Dakota parade clowns on unicycles. No exceptions.

    4. You are not allowed to hook up propane to a grill, regardless if you're tailgating or not, or to even so much as help with hooking up propane to a grill, or to light said grill, or even help cook from said grill, especially if there is any type of hot grease involved. Remember, we are trying to flatten the curve for our healthcare workers, not provide more work for them.

    5. You are to wear full and proper clothing at all times, regardless of any "hot flashes" you claim to be experiencing, or that some random sign did not say it WASN'T a nude beach. It is possible, you know, to be "technically" right, but still be so very very wrong.

    6. You are not to travel to ANY foreign country, including those where Angus Young may have living quarters. We need not remind you of the worldwide restraining order that he has slapped on you over previous unseemly and unfortunate incidents, let alone all the actual physical beatings he has laid upon your ass.

    7. You are to have no more than 3 people in your Thunderstruck Makers bunker headquarters at any one time, and no more than 10 people in the ThM Hospitality Tent at one time. All should be well spaced out (we do mean "physically" spaced out) and properly cleansed. While you were away, we've done an expensive deep clean of both areas, and after the type of filth we've seen, you should shut up and consider this a real compromise on our part.

    8. You and your merry band of ThM flunkies are not allowed to schedule, for admission fees or otherwise, any more of your infamous Friday Night "Weed and Feed" events. This has nothing to do with the virus, it's just plain common sense.

    9. You are not allowed to write any new song parodies from here on out, let alone bastardize AC/DC's classic library of tunes. While this seems like a relatively innocent activity, these exercises are racking up the legal fees for us, and, frankly, it simply scares people to death. We just can't have that during these unprecedented times.

    And finally,
    10. You are not to book AC/DC for a tailgate performance until we can verify ............... wait a minute ........... actually, we're not really worried about THIS possibility at all. Nevermind.


    Well, Good Luck Mr. Loaf, and may we never have need to correspond with you again.

    Sincerely serious,


    The Powers-That-Be
    SBOHTvT

  10. #790
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    Default Re: AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

    May 4, 2020

    Dear ThM Membership,

    Yes, after many month's of sleepless nights and debilitating uncertainty for you and yours, Thunderstruck Makers is finally opening back up for business this summer and fall, with a likely appearance by AC/DC and ESPN's Gameday soon to follow thereafter. But ... with the recent pandemic virus concerns, we gotta think outside the box on this one, folks, and now do things in a way that is both safe and different from our usual way of operating. That's right ... we gotta be smart about it. So, in what is likely the most empathetic, mature, and sensible plan that we've ever attempted to put together within these hallowed halls of happenstance, here are the no-nonsense, non-negotiable rules for a safe experience at the ThM Hospitality Tent this fall. We wish you luck.


    Social Distancing Rules at the Thunderstruck Makers Hospitality Tent

    1. All essential ThM personnel are to get to the Hospitality Tent early and are to stay at least 6 feet away from Supreme Honcho Loaf while he sits on his fat ass and watches everybody else set up and do the work. In other words, no change from prior.

    2. Members and guests standing in the 3-hour, 2-mile-long security screening line (and now symptom screening line) for ThM entry, shall remain 6 feet apart from all others in that line. Those that may have a substantial bribe to offer in order to cut the line, are to wave a hand to attract the attention of the nearest ThM min-honcho, instead of physically attempting to tap them on the shoulder. Put into words that our members are most used to hearing, that means: "Don't touch me, creep, or I'll call the cops!" Those that DON'T have a substantial line-cutting bribe to offer up, should seriously be asking themselves - "why am I even here?".

    3. All mandatory donations for entry should be forked over in the largest denominations possible so that our dear, unpaid ThM money-grubbing flunkies don't have to handle so many contaminated greenbacks when they are eventually shoved under the bunker mattress for safekeeping (We're referring to the money, of course, not the flunkies. Flunkies have their own special place, obviously.). Also, by order of our own internal health experts, no receipts for your contributions will be given out. Safety first, always.

    4. Once members and guests are granted entry into the Hospitality Tent, they shall, without exception, pinky-promise to do their very best, most of the time (unless nobody's looking), to adhere to all protocals set forth.

    5. All clothing and Personal Protection Equipment, PPE, (including nut cups and chastity belts), that are worn while at ThM events should be of solid material with all skin parts well covered, especially if you are on the homely side. Likewise, those that are physically fit and in good health, and feel that they've got anything worth looking at in the first place, can, by all means, disregard this stupid damn directive at your own judgement and perogative.

    6. There will be no sharing of liquor bottles, shot glasses, beer mugs, dixie cups, beer cans, hidden flasks, drink umbrellas, swizzle sticks, tippy cups, beer bongs, wine sacks, jello shots, body shots, or intravenous liquor hookups (whether medically approved or not). Alcohol, meanwhile, is to be used for heavy drinking only, not wasted on cleaning and disinfecting. Cleaning liquids, on the other hand, are for cleaning and disinfencting only, unless, of course, it's an emergency.

    7. Members and guests are not to use their bare fingers while pulling off hot, flaming chunks of animal flesh from the hellacious grease fires that we call the ThM community grills and smokers, and then … .... proceed to lick those fingers and cry "ooh, ooh, ooh" after they've burned them to the bone. HELL YES it hurts, but c'mon people, let's start thinking about the health and safety of others, and try to act like we've done this stuff before!

    8. When using ThM port-a-potties, members and guests are now required to use disinfectent wipes to wipe down the incidental spillage areas on the seat, floor, walls, and, yes, ceiling before the next guest enters. We make no personal judgements on the matter, but have to wonder sometimes what the hell you people are actually aiming at in there!

    9. Hands should be sanitized at all times, and there will be no hand-shaking with the other guests, ThM honchos, or the musican-vendors, namely AC/DC. There will also be no back-slapping, high-fiving, fist-bumping, butt-grabbing, crotch-scratching, nose-picking or pelvic-grinding of any kind.

    10. When Angus Young enters the tent area to "blow the froth off a couple cold ones", everyone should give a wide birth. Not only is he a big star, but that guy is also a dirty old sweat machine who WILL, literally, blow forth beer, spit, and sweat ALL OVER EVERYONE, and then - Boom! - we've got a damn Coronavirus 2nd surge on our hands! Dammit people, as God is our witness, and after almost 2 years in self-confinement for the greater good of all mankind, we are NOT going back into the dark, lonely space of isolation again!



    Admittedly, it's a a brand new world for Thunderstruck Makers these days and one in which we are not entirely confortable playing in, but we do thank you in advance for your concern over the health, well-being and financial-giving of your fellow world-class tailgate, championship-level football, and iconic classic rock enthusiasts. If you should notice anyone not following these protective protocals, or anyone not financially giving to Thunderstruck Makers to the utmost of their ability, please don't hesitate to secretly rat them out through our new ThM "Calling Out The Bastards" hotline at 1-800-YOU-SUCK. We are nothing if not caring. Nor are we caring for nothing.

    Be Safe,

    ThM Management
    Last edited by Bison Loaf; 05-05-2020 at 01:55 PM.

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