Well, well, well ........................... considering the circumstances and the uncalled-for language ................ this was a very nice gesture.
"To our dear fans at Thunderstruck Makers,
Here's wishing all you Mates a very Happy Australia Day! (except for you, Loaf ............... ya dumb bastard)
Hope to see you soon,
Your Boys"
Last edited by Bison Loaf; 01-26-2018 at 06:29 PM.
It's a sad day around here when we are reduced to trying a very dangerous and juvenile stunt in an attempt to finally get some local and national publicity out of our hard work. That's right, people, today we are foolishly announcing OUR recruiting signees BEFORE the official, legal, and sanction-free national signing date allowed by the NCAA pencil pushers. Oh hell yes we might get put on double secret probation again ............ but we thought ....... Screw 'Em, We're Thunderstruck Makers!!
Introducing your 2018 ThM Tailgating Recruits:
CyPanth - Well known for his fondness for NDSU's tailgates and mondo rigs. Has always dreamed of being a Thunderstruck Maker from a very young age, but was tragically abandoned as a young boy and raised by a roving band of circus clowns in Ames, IA. Could be the real "steal" of this recruiting class if his summer workouts with Kramer get him to leave behind the garage door politics, gaudy damn football uniforms, and his soft spot for losers. Tailgated for Coach Ronald "Look at Me, I'm Creepy as Hell" McDonald in high school, and was named first team All-Conference and All-State in each of his short, non-winning (but lovable) seasons there. Parents are the unholy 3-way of Herky the Hawkeye, Mark Farley, and Miss Cyclone 1960 ...... of which, the disgusting alcohol-fueled specifics will not be delved into at this time. Also had offers from Insane Clown Posse, Farley-palooza, Association of Garage Door Monuments, The Official Bison Loaf Fan Club of America, and The "Sprinkles are for Everyone" Foundation.
I Miss Chubs - A stealth tailgating athlete known for his quick thinking during trouble, a satisfied mind, and a smart ass. Will provide a much needed sense of whimsy, irreverence and lightheartedness to ThM's always-serious, can't-take-a-joke, stick-up-our-butt attitude and culture. Will definitely play right away, or else he will cry over it for half the damn season. Tailgated in high school for Coach Bubba "Big Baller" Scrotesplitter (who, by the way, was a deadly shot while snapping a wet locker room towel at his players). When not on team probation, or in the hospital with unfortunate groin injuries, was named 3rd-team All-Conference and dishonorable-mention All-State (a good thing) on the Punt, Drink and Pass(out) Team in his last 3 varsity seasons. Parents are I Miss Duffys and his dear, sweet mother - I Miss All Bars Everywhere. Also had offers from Thunderstruck Tequila, The Breathalyzer Store, Mechanical Testicles Inc., Rice Krispies, and The Numb Tongue League.
Bisonfanette - A once highly recruited tailgater who has really let herself go to the "dogs" lately, thus becoming available to Thunderstruck Makers on the cheap. Will really help the program, however, with her ability to pull great signs out of her ............ ass-ociates, and her ability to shamelessly get herself on Television and Print Media better than almost anyone who ever existed (except Tatanka, of course). She also promised us tickets to a lot of great rock concerts, which is completely against NCAA regulations, but we love the GAF attitude that this represents. Tailgated in high school for Coach Bill "Here's Your Sign" Lookyhere and was named an All-Stater in her junior and senior seasons. Parents are BisonInHeat and BisonStudMuffin, who both attended NDSU on a Forum Communications Photo Illustration scholarship. Also had offers from Ticket Master, Goldendoodles-R-US, "HELP! the Musical" by Neuterer's Anonymous, and ESPN's GameDay Signage Division.
Hail Bison - A late comer to the attention of ThM recruiters, who were initially put off by his fantastically foul 'effing GD mouth. Was eventually recruited, however, for ThM's specialized "communications" initiatives to certain members who we really don't like all that much (this'll show 'em!) and need to be taken down a peg. Should help the organization clarify it's message to those assholes, and other pricks, in the shortest and foulest 4-letter words known to mankind. Will definitely start as a true freshman, because ...... "none of you fu&ki$g pussies have the balls to tell me otherwise". Tailgated for Coach Michael "Soap In My Mouth Can't Hurt Me" Swearingman in high school. After much controversy, looked to finally be named an All-Stater his senior season until he went "off" on the school principal in a shocking, profanity-laced tirade that is now legendary in the tri-state region (and banned in 29 other states & Guam). Parents are Eat ShitAndDieBison and UpYoursBison. Also had offers from Andrew Dice Clay, Ice Road Truckers, The Drunken Sailor's Benevolent Association, The Urban Dictionary, and, somewhat curiously, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
Roadwarrior - An ageless wonder, had paraded himself all over the country, begging to be recruited by SOMEBODY during his formidable and continuing 440-some game tailgating streak, until Thunderstruck Makers was finally able to sign him for (surprisingly) just a warm six-pack of cheap beer (that he chugged down and then vanished into thin air for another tailgate) and a place to set down his well-worn cooler. By virtue of his status as a 35-year medical redshirt senior, will likely go right into a graduate assistant position in our clandestine travel department. Tailgated for Coach Glenn "Mad Max" Gibson in high school, where he was named All-State in all 50 states that he traveled to and tailgated in during just his first week on the team. Parents are RestAreawarrior and MileHighClubwarrior. Also had partial scholarship offers from Delta Airlines, Igloo Brand Coolers, The US Dept. of Transportation, The North Dakota "Home Is Just A State Of Mind" Tourism Campaign, and SDSU's formerly known as Hobo Days, but now the politically correct "Itinerant Traveler" Days.
Please join me in welcoming these outstanding tailgating talents to Thunderstruck Makers! "Once a Thunderstrucker, always a Thunderstrucker"!!
The Hailbison part was good. I hate to give you any kind of credit...but that was good stuff...especially liked the parents...
Notorious--Bisonville all-time POTY
Proud member of TOHBTC[/B]
My Mom yells louder than your Mom.
Country, disco .......... ............ I'm beginning to think there's no limit to the decadence that you will gladly associate yourself with.
I suppose next you'll be telling us that you are a general admission tailgater, a proud and voracious milk drinker from Section 21 ............... and wrote the song 'Weekend In New England' in your spare time back in the '70's!
Last edited by Bison Loaf; 02-03-2018 at 03:15 AM.
Just a minor correction re: ThMers Tailgating Recruits for 2018 -
Correcting your reference to "the ability to get oneself on television & print media" -
I'm sorry to inform you that the once ever so popular "Tatanka" is no longer in 1st place.
The LAZY ESPN2 camera guy, no longer pretends-to-work from the corner of section 6-7, where he LAZILY (but frequently) would slightly cast his camera to the "left" & ONLY to the "left" filming the "big guy with the bison horns!" No, the "LAZY one" must have gotten the "boot" & the "NEW guy" was "ALL OVER THE PLACE" thus kicking a "Certain Celebrity" out of 1st place.
I know this news may be painful, but someone had to tell you. If a therapy DOG would help... just let me know.
I'm thrilled with my new ThM position, but darn, it was hard to turn down that offer from the Broadway Musical.
I must return to my urgent work at hand... 2 young English Cream Goldendoodles in heat, 1 over-heated Blue Merle Poodle who is out of his mind, 2 post-partum five year old Goldendoodles who would like the younger generation to disappear, & 1 beautiful (pregnant) Golden Retriever soon to whelp in Feb.
Your sad, sob-story of extremely unbecoming envy, mixed in with a large dose of hurtful retribution, reeks of lame excuses and haunting regrets over past mistakes and grave errors in judgement; all resulting in broken promises and wasted opportunities along the path of an already pathetic and misguided existence; not to mention a wholly unredeemable guilty conscience and an unhealthy amount of anti-authority spit and venom.
................. which, of course, will fit in just PERFECTLY here at good old Thunderstruck Makers! Welcome aboard!!
If we concentrated on the really important stuff in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles"
When you play football, you gotta like the taste of blood, And 50 percent of the time, it's your blood.
It is characteristic of the unlearned that they are forever proposing something which is old, and because it has recently come to their own attention, supposing it to be new.
"The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer."