AC/DC to the West Lot.........rumors

[Bison Loaf]

Hells Bells! It's Week #3 already of our 8-week countdown to the first 2023 tailgate, and I'm starting to wonder whether or not we have enough stinky old material to repost, retread, and retry for the duration. My Grunts and Lackeys tell me that we do, but there's a reason why they are Grunts and Lackeys and I'm the Boss Honcho around here. Can't think of one right now, but I KNOW there are reasons for it.

We've also found that quite a few of our musical parodies have been confiscated and impounded by a fun-killing judicial system to be used as evidence in a bunch of bullcrap charges against us, like, (1) general sedition & sedation, (2) contributing to the delinquency of the human race, (3) butchering the english language for one's own pleasure, (4) butchering a classic AC/DC song for fun and pleasure (guilty as charged!), and (5) aggravated intellectual vagrancy.

But we've somehow found one that hasn't been taken against its will for this week's countdown, so until the legal system eventually buckles to the unrelenting will of Thunderstruck Makers, let's continue the festivities!

Here ....... from THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives (and currently on loan from the Department of Justice) ......... originally released on July 20, 2017 ........ and then straight to the top of the charts with a bullet ........ not to be used without the express written consent of someone, anyone, anyone at all at Thunderstruck Makers who can actually read and write ........ another ThM classic that was likely hard for everyone to forget for about a week or so ....... we proudly re-release and repost during our period of severe writer's performance dysfunction ........


Let There Be Thunder .................

With a dynasty just beginning.......
Back in nineteen sixty five,
fans didn't know how a tailgate goes
to bring this Herd alive.
One man had some Grain Belt,
The other man had some chips.
But neither one knew just what to do
so the turf gods dropped some hints
the voice boomed:

Let there be Grills............... and there were Grills
Let there be Tents............. and there were Tents
Let there be Flags............... and there were Flags
Let there be Rigs................ and there were Rigs
Now Let there be Thunder!!!!

<insert a Gnarly, Jammin', Bitchin', Killer Interlude here>

And over the years, it came to pass.....
That this tailgate heaven was born
in this Fargo land, where not a soul can stand
to miss a Saturday morn.
The entry line is gigantic
with nary an empty hitch
filled with logo-wraps and liquor taps
meant to scratch their gridiron itch.
With a snort of this and a shot of that
and medicinal swigs on the side
sporting Bison tees, eating what they please
grins and bellies just as equally wide.
They all yell:

Let there be Playoffs...........and there were Playoffs
Lett there be Winning............and there was Winning
Let there be Titles..............and there were Titles
Let there be Pride..............and there was Pride
Now, Let there be Thunder!!!!!

<insert another Crankin', Poundin', Bashin', Maniacal Interlude here>

One day the world caught wind of this place
With it's hundred-plus decibel Dome,
Where football was proud and the music was loud
and "Power" made it's earthly home.
"No way this can be happening!"
said the GameDay Babe once here,
but her eyes didn't decieve, as she came to believe
and she toasted the throng with a beer!
Screaming:

Let there be Great Fans...........and there were Great Fans
Let there be a "Corso".................and there was a "Corso"
Let there be Ratings...............and there were Ratings
Let us COME BACK here............and they CAME BACK here

"Now, Let there be Thunder!!!!!!!"

[Bison Loaf]

It's Week #4 already of our 8-Week countdown to the first 2023 tailgate and we here at Thunderstruck Makers continue to do what it is that we do best ...... make it look like we're busier than hell, while we sit on our dead asses doing absolutely nothing the whole time; grossly entertaining ourselves on somebody else's dime donation. But, please, do not try this at home. We've spent years perfecting our craft.

Meanwhile, we're super excited about Week #4 of our countdown because it starts out (uh oh, is that a foreshadowing of a 2nd post this week? ) with one of the very favorite AC/DC tunes of all the dirty, disgusting feces-throwing animals down here in the ThM bunker. We play this sucker all the time, so it was just a matter of time before we put another set of words to it and wrecked it for all eternity. And now we're going to re-post it again on countdown week! Good Lord, we clearly have no shame!

But it's too late now to take it all back. The grand plan has been set in motion and AC/DC may or may not be on their way to a massive Live Intro appearance in 2023.

So here it is ...... from the BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives ....... originally released on November 27, 2017 ...... and then (say it with me now) straight to the top of the charts with a 2nd Amendment bullet ...... not to be used without the express written consent of somebody who can actually read and write at Thunderstruck Makers (if you're having any luck with this .. giggle, snicker, giggle ... let us know) ....... the ThM classic that no one can forget because no one ever remembered it in the first damn place ........ we re-present ......


If You Want Blood (and a Loss) You've Got It ..................

It's criminal.......
There ought to be a law
Our tailgate......
It's the best you ever saw.
You'll get strong drink for nothing
All the food you can eat
But when the football gets started
You gotta know your team gets beat

If you want blood (and a loss) ..... you got it
If you want blood (and a loss) ..... you got it
From food in your gut
and booze in the lot,
to ringing in your ears
and all the tears you'll drop
If you want blood (and a loss) .......... you got it!
(uff da, that was a little chilly out there, eh friend?)

We're animals............
Packed into this Dome
Just freaking animals...........
When our Herd takes the field at home
Now you're feeling like a sacrifice
Thunder Virgin that you are
Thrown to the lions
By the Ranking Committee Czar

If you want blood (and a loss) ..... they gave it
If you want blood (and a loss) ..... they gave it
There's blood on their hands
for sending your team here
There's blood from your ears
can't even hear your fear.
If you want blood (and a loss)............. they gave it!
(it's none of our doings, dontcha know den, you bet)

Now it's time............
to send you on your way
It been a load of fun
Nothing personal, any day.
When you come back the next time
We'll smile and slap your back
We're really happy to see you
Before the game, it's all just smack!

But then...................
(you dint let our cute little accents fool ya now, did ya?)

Blood on your jersey..........
Blood out your nose..........
Blood from your two ears.........
We know how THAT goes.
Blood out of both lungs..............
Spewing as WE shout..............
Then Blood from your eyeballs..............
as your forced to view this rout.
If you want blood (and a loss) ............ you got it!
If you want blood (uh huh) ............ you got it!
If you want blood (that was ugly) ............ you got it!
If you want blood (and a loss) ............ you got it!

(You all come back now, ya hear? )

[Bison Loaf]

Two posts this week?! I don't like it. The thing is ....... I don't get paid any more freaking money whether we have 2 posts or 1 post or no posts! And I always like money coming in ......... for the good of Thunderstruck Makers, of course .... and for the 10% that is always reserved for the "Big Guy" (that's me, but don't tell anyone) in most normal cases. But we started this damn thing, so we might as well finish it.

So here ...... to cap off Week #4 of our 8 Week countdown to the first 2023 home tailgate ....... a date that will live in infamy, because diddly squat is accruing to me personally at this time ......... from THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives ........ originally released on June 29, 2018 ....... another date that will live in infamy (seems we've got a lot of those kind of dates) ........ then going straight to the top of the charts with a bullet ........... and not to be used without the express written consent of somebody who can actually read and write at Thunderstruck Makers (I think we almost hired somebody like that once) ....... we re-post and re-present to you, our totally naive and unsuspecting new readership ...........


Loud As Hell Dome Nation ...............

You say that we cheer too loud,
Well, Cookie, that's tough.
You say that we drink too much.
Can't chug enough. (true story bro, )
You tell us that it can't be done,
We're just "nobodies" out having fun.
You say that our team's JV,
Just blanks in our gun.

[Chorus]
But we're a Loud As Hell Dome Nation,
You ain't the first to not believe it's true.
We're a Loud As Hell Dome Nation.
When your team plays here ..... you won't hear us beat you!

You say that you've heard noise before,
So why be so proud?
You say that there's no way in hell,
That hicks can get loud.
We're a myth, and you say we'll see,
when your team goes on a scoring spree.
Oh you're sure we've got a nice little place,
but there ain't no way this place is gonna be right in your face!

[Chorus]
But we're a Loud as Hell Dome Nation,
From the "Intro" all the way on through.
We're a Loud As Hell Dome Nation,
When your team plays here ..... you won't hear what beat you!

Dome Nation ......... They don't understand
Dome Nation ......... All across this land
Dome Nation ......... You're only 19k
Not enough damn people to be rockin' out this way!

(Chorus)
But we're a Loud As Hell Dome Nation,
We'll keep it up until you say "No Mas!"
We're a Loud As Hell Dome Nation,
When your team plays here ..... you won't hear your next loss!


Dome Nation, you're such a happy home
Dome Nation, each win you call your own
Dome Nation, you've got such arrogance
Dome Nation, these stiffs don't stand a chance!
Dome Nation, your breath just reeks of booze
Dome Nation, how do you EVER lose?!
Dome Nation, you're all such hottie hunks
Dome Nation, and are the NICEST drunks!
Dome Nation, oh do we have the goods?
Dome Nation, do bears shit in the woods!
DOME NATION!

[Bison Loaf]

My Dear Thunderstruck Makers,

It's Week #5 already of our 8-week countdown until the first home tailgate of 2023, and for the life of me, I don't know where we are coming up with all this old crap that we're posting. I thought it was all dead and buried long ago, along with my liver, my pride, and my testes. At the very least, I was sure that the Department of Justice had confiscated all copies of this material and had it deeply hidden away in some government vault until it could be cherry-picked against me in a court of law at a time and place of their own choosing.

But ...... I begrudgingly have to hand it to the resourcefulness of our unpaid interns, lackies, and grunts for finding all this stuff! Is there enough to finish out the 8-week countdown? I doubt it. And with my performance issues right now, I sure as hell know that there won't be any eruption of sexy and stimulating new material to get us through these remaining, lonely days and nights until we consummate our first 2023 tailgate (and long rumored AC/DC appearance).

So here ....... from THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives (and God knows where else we're stealing this stuff from) ........... originally released on August 28, 2018 ......... and then straight to the top of the charts with a bullet ........ a rare AC/DC parody from the unique perspective of one of our shell-shocked opponents ........... not to be used without the express written consent of someone at Thunderstruck Makers who can actually read and write .......... we re-gift to you ..........


Win City (aka/ A Visiting Coach's Pep Talk) .............................

Titles ...... or bust
These guys win ........ like they must
Power football ....... banner's up
Fans are loud here ........ know their stuff
I got a gnawin' feelin'
deep inside my gut
I just might throw up on
the ass that scheduled us

To come on in ...... to Win City
No way we win ..... in Win City
Where the fans don't sit
'Til they make us quit
Let's pack it in, boys ....... it's Win City

<Gnarly axe solo by a shell-shocked assistant coach …. and heck, he's not too bad!>

Wheel routes ..... and fakes
Hell, what's next? ....... for eff sakes!
Tough men, fast men ....... sneaky ball thieves
Boys, we ain't gotta hope in hell ....
That's my belief!

Tailgate's over!! (boom,boom,boom,boom) ....... Thunder time! (boom,boom,boom,boom).
We gotta get out there boys .......... no sense in cryin'!

So say a prayer, call loved ones
and change them soiled pants.
Run out like we're cocky jerks
but know, we don't stand a chance!

They sent us in ..... to Win City
That's dumb as sin ..... it's Win City!
No we won't come back
Unless our school's on crack
Just pack it in, boys ........ it's Win City!

[Bison Loaf]

It's Week #6 of our 8-Week countdown to the first home tailgate of 2023, and I was shocked when I saw the Lackies and Grunts submitting this one for approval to my Chief of Staff (who I've since fired because he or she - (that bulge doesn't mean anything these days) insisted on calling themselves "Chief" and we all know there's only one Chief around here!)

I really thought our AC/DC stuff had run out, and we'd have to post one of our even more lame Stones parodies, or maybe a KISS re-write, or .... horror of horrors .... one of those country music pieces of shit that we dabbled in for a while there. Frankly, all that would do is give those icky General Admission Tailgaters hope that they could, one day, be one of us ..... and that just wouldn't be humane. But, dammit, we'll do what we have to do to fill out this frickin' 8-week countdown that we so foolishly started, even if it means we have to watch mullet heads rattle their billfold chains doing the Cotton-Eyed Joe! We're THAT serious about finishing this thing!

Anyway, we're sure hoping it doesn't come to that and it looks like we're fine for now so don't be alarmed, although there will be a 2nd post later this week (probably during our Friday ThM News/Communal Dump) ...... and, fair warning, it's NOT an AC/DC song. Please, no crank calls or complaints. We're doing the best we can.

So without any further ado ..... from THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives .......... originally released on September 20th of 2018 ......... then straight to the top of the charts with a bullet ......... not to be used without the express written consent of someone at Thunderstruck Makers who can actually read and write (come to think of it, the Chief of Staff could read and write a little ... oh well) ........ we re-present to you at no charge ........



West Lot Needs (Not Done Cheap) ...........


You leave work early and you park your rigs
so full of alcohol,
Out to the place where you line up like pigs
and wait for night to fall.
Can't leave the cab, or start a bar tab
Just gotta stay in line.
But we'll save your spot, for all that you've got
and have you back just in time!

West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
(You're a GA gaiter, and we know you're cheap)
(We'd like to help you, but we charge a heap)

You get up early and you drive your rigs
so full of booze and whine,
To the reserved line and your rich man's digs
get there and snooze til nine.
But something is wrong! The line's effin' long!
"Don't they know who I am?!!"
Well pull out your cash, and we'll fix it fast!
If not, nobody gives a damn!!

West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
(We know you've got it, and we don't come cheap)
(You love to flaunt it, so we charge a heap)
Yeahhh

You can't be bothered like the rest of the race
who love their alcohol.
You won't come early but you want a place
to park and have a ball.
What?! NO overflows!? Man, that really blows!!
Where can my bandwagon land?
For a large ugly fee, we're happy to see
You party hard in "rugby land"! Hey!

West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
West Lot Needs ........ Not Done Cheap!
(We know you've got it, and your worth runs deep) yeah
(The needs are heavy, and we don't come cheap)
(You love to flaunt it, til it's time to leap)
(So fork it over, man, we don't come cheap!)

Reserve Notes, Mutual Funds, Golden Rings
(We don't come cheap!)
Trust Funds, Prepaid Funerals, Shiny Things
(We don't come cheap!)
ahhhhh

[Rock]

I can hard-ly wait till tomorrow. Hope it ROCKS!

https://open.spotify.com/track/0QtwM...Rg2J1u3kK13I8A

[Bison Loaf]

Dammit, people! How am I supposed to execute a Friday News Dump when all the commodes are taken?! Geezus H Angus, I tell you, I'm about ready to lose it around here!!

Now ...... I promised all of our important and valued Thunderstruck Makers donors and benefactors (no, stop it, I'm not joking about those pud's this time) that we would have a 2nd post this week ........ and you little bastards said that we would have enough material to do it, so where the hell is it?! It's only Week #6 of an 8-Week total clustermuck that all of you idiots said would be great for ThM's image ...... an image that I friggin' built from the ground up with my bare hands and broken balls ...... and now just 2 weeks from ending this thread for good, I'll be damned if I'm going to take the fall for anything that goes wrong now!

My inbox? Which one? ....... ?? ........ ? ........ <backspace> .......... Oh there it is.
Okay, carry on, fellas. Great work today. Proud of you.


My Dear ThM Friends ...... here ........ to finish Week #6 of our 8-Week countdown to the first HOME tailgate ..... from THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives ...... it's not AC/DC but it just might be the next best thing ...... originally released on November 28th of 2018 ....... then straight to the top of the charts with some awesome pyro on the side ........ not to be used without the express written consent of someone, anyone who can actually read and write at Thunderstruck Makers ........ YOU WANTED IT ........ YOU GOT IT ..........


Pound The Rock City .................

Everything's all right on a Friday night
Got my rig in line and the booze is packed up tight
Bison playoff morn, they're gonna wave me on through
To my West Lot spot, then I'll tell you what I'm gonna do ......

Set up!
Hope somebody brought a little heat
Tear down!
Everybody's gonna leave things neat
It's tailgate time in ....... Pound The Rock City
Set up!
Everybody's gonna drink and eat
Tear down!
Time for everyone to find their seat

It's getting late, tailgate's gotta end
Have to pee again, but that line is not my friend
The Intro's up, but I'm not there yet
God I hope its dark, 'cause my pants are slightly wet .........

Step up!
Everybody's lined up down the hall
Zip down!
Everybody aim and hit your stall
It's pre-game time in .........Pound The Rock City!
Zip up!
Everybody don't waste precious time
Calm down!
We'll make the Intro if we move this line

Deferred the toss, defense stopped 'em cold
Then we throw a pass, what the hell that crap gets old
We gotta pound the rock, it's an easy call
It's what we do, it's called "Run The Effin' Ball" ..........

Line Up!
The game is early and you're full of sass
Knock Down!
You can't talk trash when you're laid on your ass
It's go time now in ........ Pound The Rock City
Man up!
Quit'yer bitching, have you had enough
Stand down!
We thought you guys would be a bit more tough

The Herd's up big, knitting's coming out
And we're drinking milk, means we're gonna win no doubt
It feels so good, we ain't the Mountain West
We might be pud, but at least our pud's the best ........

Get up!
Everybody get up on your feet
Sit down!
These Dippin' Dots are sure a messy treat
It's garbage time in ...... Pound The Rock City
Get up!
Everybody knows "The March Is On"
Sit Down!
That was quick, another victim's gone
In Pound The Rock City!

(One .... more ..... time! ........)

Get out!
All the ushers want you out of here
Don't shout!
It takes some time for that damn lot to clear
It's post-game bitch in ........... Pound The Rock City
Drive safe!
Everybody's at their liquored peak
Rest up!
We want you back here at your best next week
Right here again in .......... in Pound The Rock City
Pound The Rock City!

[Bison Loaf]

It's finally Week #7 of what feels like the longest ever 8-Week countdown in world history, all leading up to the 1st home tailgate of 2023.

Why the first HOME tailgate, Loafy? Well, first of all, because ..... We're Thunderstruck Makers! We do whatever the hell we want, whenever the hell we want! (There it is - words to live by - one final time before this thread goes dark). Second, nobody gives a flying monkey crap about this week's game, except for all the Minneapolis toadies who want to convince us that the city is safe. Nothing to see here, folks. Except that the tough guys swearing that it's safe down there are the same ones you couldn't drag out of their house during Covid!

Meanwhile, our offering this week brings back a flood of extremely fond (hubba hubba) and extremely sad (sob, sniffle) memories for me. I've been both crying my eyes out AND smiling my ass off all week! Good Lord, I've got smiling ass eyes!

So here it is ........... from THE BEST OF THUNDERSTRUCK MAKERS archives ....... originally released on February 7th of 2019 ..... and then straight to the top of the charts with a high voltage bullet ......... a love story like no other ...... a sexual romp that'll have your palms sweating like a downtown Minneapolis tourist ........ a story that will restore your faith in old-fashioned two-gender lust ....... not to be used (like I was) or re-consummated without the express written consent of someone who can actually read and write at Thunderstruck Makers ...... we give to you (at no charge) one more time ..........



High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll ..............

Well, I left my tailgate late again
Tossing back some quick ones with Herd friends
But when I reached the Dome I could not see
How I could make "The Intro" AND go pee
But then a lady screener waived my up
And said "Come on up here sweet buttercup"...... so I cruised by
the line's outcry!

High voltage line loophole
Gotta love when ladies take control
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll

Well she asked me why it took so long
And then she noticed my booze breath smelled strong
And so she asked me for my contraband
"Well do you mean this one last drink in hand?"
And then she wants to frisk me for a flask
"Hey baby, all you gotta do is ask!" ...... cuz I'm so shy
and that's not my thigh!

High voltage booze control
Never know when love is gonna roll
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll

Then she asked me why I like to drink ........... (is that a trick question?)
And then she winked and zapped me as I think
And then she made me stop and drop my pants
Good Lord! My first detector love romance!
And then she asked me what I'm smiling 'bout
"Well babe you're good with wand in hand no doubt ... not gonna lie"!
Still not my thigh!

This high voltage takes it's toll
But my heart, girl, I think you stole
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll

She asked me to be her life's romance
I say "Before the kickoff?! Not a chance!"
So she said, "Meet me here then at the half......"
".... and we'll quick run away and have some laughs."
And with a little twinkle in her eye
I pried her hand's death grip off of my thigh ....... I pried and pried!
Then ran inside!

High voltage sure seems droll
When your hands, girl, I can't control
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll

Didn't leave the game, the Herd you know
Halftime came and went, and I didn't show
So I didn't expect to see her there
With her wand in hand and blue-gray hair
Insisting that she still check for my flask
I said, "Babe, you don't even have to ask!" ..... now say good-bye!
We gotta fly!

High voltage lifts the soul
For whom the wedding bells may toll
High voltage, high voltage
High Voltage Pre-Game Stroll

[GreenfieldBison]

Second, nobody gives a flying monkey crap about this week's game, except for all the Minneapolis toadies who want to convince us that the city is safe. Nothing to see here, folks. Except that the tough guys swearing that it's safe down there are the same ones you couldn't drag out of their house during Covid!

This is a pretty unfortunate comment. You should delete it. Or come to Minneapolis and we can discuss!

[Bison Loaf]

This is a pretty unfortunate comment. You should delete it. Or come to Minneapolis and we can discuss!

You're right. I should have said ..... nobody gives a filthy, stinking, somebody-just-fed-me-a-three-day-old-burrito flying manic monkey shit about this week's game.

Yeah, that's much better!

Thank you. This writer's block I have is a real bastard.