Originally Posted by
MankatoBison
So Far the #FcsForever crowd has offered these solutions to #BisonFatigue, which they also say does not exist:
1. Cancel the season- #TrustScienceExceptForScienceThatDisagreesWithMyPo liticalBeliefs
2. Do NOT Sell beer. under any circumstances- you must not, cannot sell beer in the dome. The end of civilization
3. Schedule Indiana State again. We need more #elite talent coming to the dome. Fans are ravenous for the top level of football, and that means more #elite teams and #elite programs like indiana state, western illinois, ISUr, SIU, Montana State , Montana, Cal Poly, Dayton, Central Connecticut state etc. We're talking BIG BOI COLLEGE FOOTBALL HERE. If we continue to schedule these teams that totally take football seriously, the dome will be #BleedingYellow once again. Just imagine how empty the dome would be if we scheduled teams like Colorado State, Air Force, Wyoming, Kansas, Boise State, Cinicinati, Hawaii, Gorgia southern, App state, Buffalo etc.. seriously, everyone knows that every FCS team would take those morons to the woodshed. We are the TRUE standard for college football #FCSFOREVER!!!!!11!!!11!!1!
4. Ban Yellow jerseys and Green Helmets. No explanation needed. Enough of these entitled players and their #Swag and texting on their emails and internets. These kids need to grow up and stop being gang bangers with their "color rush jerseys" and "alternative helmets". we all know what those really mean. Gang violence..... Its all been downhill since we introduced those non-traditional combinations. Except for when we did the throwback snorty helmets. those are ok, but the rest just indicates that the University, and society as a whole is crumbling
5. Move back down to D2, or better yet, D3 or even NAIA. After all, the only, and I mean ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS. Why win 8/9 championships when we could win 100/100 in NAIA? After all, the top level of all college football is wherever you can win a NATIONAL championship. The word NATIONAL is in its name so that is waaaaaaay way way way way better than winning something dumb like an "orange bowl" or "cotton bowl" or "fiesta bowl". I mean, what the f*ck are those? everyone know that advertisers are absolutely foaming at the mouth to advertise on the FCS, D2, D3, and NAIA championship games! No one watches a "rose bowl", lol... all about the Natties, baby, thats why youre seeing so many teams gleefully leaving the FBS for the FCS and even DII. Theyve seen the future of college football, and the future is D2
6.Do not, under any circumstances, improve or expand the dome. In fact, if we REDUCE the seats then it will decrease the amount of emtpy seats! Problem solved. Addition by subtraction. No one has ever or will ever be encouraged or discouraged to going to a game based on how interesting a stadium or facility is or the amenities that it offers. Think about it, that's why the price a trailer home is exactly the same price as a mansion on Gull Lake on AirBnb and VRBO! Duh! DO NOT IMPROVE THE DOME, just a waste of money that no one will notice or care about.
7. Ignore objective truths such as the "law of decreasing marginal utility". Nope. Its #FakeNews and #alternativeFacts. Ignore that UND propaganda. In fact, we believe that the longer youve had something, the MORE you are willing to pay for it! We believe that the less exciting something becomes the MORE exciting it becomes! It makes perfect sense if you dont think about it. If you want to reinvigorate your program, fan base, marriage, home, career- just change NOTHING and everything is bound to change! Its absolutely genius. Think about it- thats why farmers can no longer factor in depreciation on their taxes- because nothing gets less valuable, exciting, or useful over time, EVER! Again, it makes perfect sense to us #FCSForever Nazis. Just repeat and believe #FcsIsThePinnacleOfCollegeFootball