The Bisonville Playbook: Saving Roehl's Job and the 2021 Season

[Kevin]

Mr. Roehl,

You probably don't remember me. We met once many years ago in passing but you were always my fourth favorite Bison. We're also eskimo brothers since we both tagged ECEH8HE's mom. On the same weekend, which might actually make us eskimo twins idk how that works. Anyway, I've been a huge supporter since before you were running away over and away from Goopher defenders.

I've also been one of your harsher critics here on the forums. I don't mean to be an ass, it's just that like most of our fans I'm a spoiled/entitled shithead who expects the impossible on a weekly basis. However, I'm not one critique and not offer solutions. As such, I am assembling the brightest minds of Bisonville to fill the playbook with shit other than power left, jet sweep right and quarterback dive for one yard.

Here on Bisonville we have some of the brightest minds in football. We have PL, who played on the 1936 championship team. We have CAS, who may or may not be in Guantanamo Bay currently, that guys got some rings too. We have TAB who... well, he's TAB.

And we have me. Your new secret weapon.

As such, I've designed a few plays to turn this season around. Starting with one I call the War Horse, this is a QP designed missile to destroy the enemy in their base.

It starts here, in the Delta formation:

https://i.ibb.co/J7Dn6WY/unstoppable-play-1.png

Here we have QP running the ship. To his right is big boy Hunter Luepke. To his left, The Dominator. Behind him is the shifty as hell Jalen Bussey.

Flanked out wide is Christian Watson. Phoenix Sproles is line up to the right but you can't see him. He's invisible, much like on gameday. But I assure you he's there.


https://i.ibb.co/GxNdMfP/unstoppable-play-2.png

As you see here, the ball has been pitched back to Bussey who has gone down and to the right. The linebackers are on this like lakes on a new recruit because they're thinking "Fucking Roehl, so predictable. We got this." but wait, Christian Watson who was in motion lays the wood to the bitch coming off the edge. Sneakily a few of our badass lineman have pulled left along with... who's that? That's right. QP sneakin' into the flat with them. Bussey being a midget comes in handy here, the defense never sees him throw it back across the field because Hunter is in front of him.


https://i.ibb.co/L0h3yXy/unstoppable-play-3.png

Next we see the culmination of offensive genius. The entire defense bit hard to our right. Except the corner who got straight up fucking murked by our boy Dom. Seriously, after this play they have to get the cart on the field. We all feel bad about it for a bit.

Everyone on the right is confused. Our guys are actually laughing in their faces as the dumb as fuck defense is like my dog when I pump fake with the tennis ball: "Where's the ball? Where's the ball? WHERESTHEBALL???"

Meanwhile QP is lumbering down the field for an easy TD with a lineman escorting him and wondering why he isn't as fast as he seemed in that fucking VT tape.

Boom, six points Mr. Roehl. 8 if you run the 2 point conversion I'll draw up after I make some bank on these UFC fights.

Don't worry, we got this.

[56BISON73]

Mr. Roehl,

You probably don't remember me. We met once many years ago in passing but you were always my fourth favorite Bison. We're also eskimo brothers since we both tagged ECEH8HE's mom. On the same weekend, which might actually make us eskimo twins idk how that works. Anyway, I've been a huge supporter since before you were running away over and away from Goopher defenders.

I've also been one of your harsher critics here on the forums. I don't mean to be an ass, it's just that like most of our fans I'm a spoiled/entitled shithead who expects the impossible on a weekly basis. However, I'm not one critique and not offer solutions. As such, I am assembling the brightest minds of Bisonville to fill the playbook with shit other than power left, jet sweep right and quarterback dive for one yard.

Here on Bisonville we have some of the brightest minds in football. We have PL, who played on the 1936 championship team. We have CAS, who may or may not be in Guantanamo Bay currently, that guys got some rings too. We have TAB who... well, he's TAB.

And we have me. Your new secret weapon.

As such, I've designed a few plays to turn this season around. Starting with one I call the War Horse, this is a QP designed missile to destroy the enemy in their base.

It starts here, in the Delta formation:

https://i.ibb.co/J7Dn6WY/unstoppable-play-1.png

Here we have QP running the ship. To his right is big boy Hunter Luepke. To his left, The Dominator. Behind him is the shifty as hell Jalen Bussey.

Flanked out wide is Christian Watson. Phoenix Sproles is line up to the right but you can't see him. He's invisible, much like on gameday. But I assure you he's there.


https://i.ibb.co/GxNdMfP/unstoppable-play-2.png

As you see here, the ball has been pitched back to Bussey who has gone down and to the right. The linebackers are on this like lakes on a new recruit because they're thinking "Fucking Roehl, so predictable. We got this." but wait, Christian Watson who was in motion lays the wood to the bitch coming off the edge. Sneakily a few of our badass lineman have pulled left along with... who's that? That's right. QP sneakin' into the flat with them. Bussey being a midget comes in handy here, the defense never sees him throw it back across the field because Hunter is in front of him.


https://i.ibb.co/L0h3yXy/unstoppable-play-3.png

Next we see the culmination of offensive genius. The entire defense bit hard to our right. Except the corner who got straight up fucking murked by our boy Dom. Seriously, after this play they have to get the cart on the field. We all feel bad about it for a bit.

Everyone on the right is confused. Our guys are actually laughing in their faces as the dumb as fuck defense is like my dog when I pump fake with the tennis ball: "Where's the ball? Where's the ball? WHERESTHEBALL???"

Meanwhile QP is lumbering down the field for an easy TD with a lineman escorting him and wondering why he isn't as fast as he seemed in that fucking VT tape.

Boom, six points Mr. Roehl. 8 if you run the 2 point conversion I'll draw up after I make some bank on these UFC fights.

Don't worry, we got this.

https://i.imgur.com/NU2EV0k.jpg

[SafeTeeJ]

Mr. Roehl,

You probably don't remember me. We met once many years ago in passing but you were always my fourth favorite Bison. We're also eskimo brothers since we both tagged ECEH8HE's mom. On the same weekend, which might actually make us eskimo twins idk how that works. Anyway, I've been a huge supporter since before you were running away over and away from Goopher defenders.

I've also been one of your harsher critics here on the forums. I don't mean to be an ass, it's just that like most of our fans I'm a spoiled/entitled shithead who expects the impossible on a weekly basis. However, I'm not one critique and not offer solutions. As such, I am assembling the brightest minds of Bisonville to fill the playbook with shit other than power left, jet sweep right and quarterback dive for one yard.

Here on Bisonville we have some of the brightest minds in football. We have PL, who played on the 1936 championship team. We have CAS, who may or may not be in Guantanamo Bay currently, that guys got some rings too. We have TAB who... well, he's TAB.

And we have me. Your new secret weapon.

As such, I've designed a few plays to turn this season around. Starting with one I call the War Horse, this is a QP designed missile to destroy the enemy in their base.

It starts here, in the Delta formation:

https://i.ibb.co/J7Dn6WY/unstoppable-play-1.png

Here we have QP running the ship. To his right is big boy Hunter Luepke. To his left, The Dominator. Behind him is the shifty as hell Jalen Bussey.

Flanked out wide is Christian Watson. Phoenix Sproles is line up to the right but you can't see him. He's invisible, much like on gameday. But I assure you he's there.


https://i.ibb.co/GxNdMfP/unstoppable-play-2.png

As you see here, the ball has been pitched back to Bussey who has gone down and to the right. The linebackers are on this like lakes on a new recruit because they're thinking "Fucking Roehl, so predictable. We got this." but wait, Christian Watson who was in motion lays the wood to the bitch coming off the edge. Sneakily a few of our badass lineman have pulled left along with... who's that? That's right. QP sneakin' into the flat with them. Bussey being a midget comes in handy here, the defense never sees him throw it back across the field because Hunter is in front of him.


https://i.ibb.co/L0h3yXy/unstoppable-play-3.png

Next we see the culmination of offensive genius. The entire defense bit hard to our right. Except the corner who got straight up fucking murked by our boy Dom. Seriously, after this play they have to get the cart on the field. We all feel bad about it for a bit.

Everyone on the right is confused. Our guys are actually laughing in their faces as the dumb as fuck defense is like my dog when I pump fake with the tennis ball: "Where's the ball? Where's the ball? WHERESTHEBALL???"

Meanwhile QP is lumbering down the field for an easy TD with a lineman escorting him and wondering why he isn't as fast as he seemed in that fucking VT tape.

Boom, six points Mr. Roehl. 8 if you run the 2 point conversion I'll draw up after I make some bank on these UFC fights.

Don't worry, we got this.

That Fucks! Well done!

[CAS4127]

That Fucks! Well done!

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

[Kevin]

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

No its a war horse.

[SafeTeeJ]

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

Not the actual play. I’m just mesmerized at the pretty dots and thingys

[Kevin]

Alright bros we got the next installment in our championship playbook.

I was looking over the depth chart and I was shocked to see that we have 29 tight ends on the roster. That's not a type-o, nor an exaggeration. There are twenty nine people in that position room. Crazy.

Anyway I figured how can we get them involved so I was like fuck it, we're gonna run a beef package. I call this play.... Roll Herd:


https://i.ibb.co/gFzDy35/unstoppable-play-te.png


I know what you're thinking. "Is that.... tight ends tripp'd up on the right and stacked on the left?" Damn straight it is.

That's five of the 29 tight ends on the field at one time. That's 5.8% of them out there together, rolling fools. Look at that piece of shit defense lined up in a 3-4. That's given us fits in the past right? Not anymore. They're about to get herd rolled.

Safeties creepin' up because they're like "Ok they got that hulk of a QB who likes to run just not physically enough for Bisonville... they got roughly 4800 pounds of linemen and tight ends out there.. this has to be a draw."

But it's not.

https://c.tenor.com/JCbBjvq4ZHoAAAAM/dexter-james-doakes.gif

It's five fucking go routes.

All ending in the same place.

6 more points, Roehl. If you have the balls.

[CAS4127]

Not the actual play. I’m just mesmerized at the pretty dots and thingys

It’s a set up for blocks in the back and hitting what are now called “indefensible players”.

[Kevin]

It’s a set up for blocks in the back and hitting what are now called “indefensible players”.

Listen bro if you want to draw up some plays we're all ears.

Maybe you can use the pro set. Those zoomers will have no idea wtf it is.

[GreenfieldBison]

It’s a basic throwback play that he probably lifted from First Down Playbook on the apolitical Twitter. Philly special is better and has a better success chance.

C’mon man, he got it from a Reddit forum.

It was probably drawn up by magic pussy or whatever that guy calls himself.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Kevin]

C’mon man, he got it from a Reddit forum.

It was probably drawn up by magic pussy or whatever that guy calls himself.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

As though you know what reddit is boomtown.

[GreenfieldBison]

As though you know what reddit is boomtown.

Just enough to know it sucks. Ya know, wait a minute, … , got a call coming in from GS. Gotta hit ya back later….


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[123Gobison]

Common man, not another running play.

[SafeTeeJ]

It’s a set up for blocks in the back and hitting what are now called “indefensible players”.

Yeah…pretty soon they will call penalties on crack blocks on alley players.

[EC8CH]

Why is our QB dot so black?










Steve Walker graduated years ago.

[CAS4127]

Listen bro if you want to draw up some plays we're all ears.

Maybe you can use the pro set. Those zoomers will have no idea wtf it is.

I’m privy to NDSU historic playbook: https://blogs.usafootball.com/blog/6204/check-out-how-north-dakota-state-s-diamond-power-read-has-contributed-to-the-bison-s-success

Crazy how fast we used to play and how creative things were ....

[Kevin]

Ok bros next installment is one I really don't want to include but I know I have to if we're going to get TR to actually buy into our obvious superiority.


https://i.imgflip.com/5lxc7h.jpg


That's right bros. If we have to run the fucking sweep let's go sweep inception. I call this play... Sweepception. Because there's a sweep in the sweep, bro.


https://i.ibb.co/brzRrRk/jet-sweeps.png

There's a lot of shit going on here that needs to be broken down. To start, we have Hunter Luepke in the backfield behind QP. Spread out are Christian Watson, Sproles and Kobe Johnson. Watson motions in, defense is like "awww shit, jet sweep!" salivating like the rabid fucks they are. Fans are watching at home and are like "ahhh shit, jet sweep....." and sure enough, handed off to CW.

But then what's this? Sproles doubles back and takes the pitch as he goes by. Random TE because there's too many to remember the names seals the edge. Hunter takes out the MLB while the entire rest of the defense crashes left thinking Watson is Watsoning a Jet Sweep.

Boom, Sproles takes off for six, and no one mentions Tik Tok or NIL for two whole pages in the Game Day Thread until Lakes gets out of the bathroom.

CASS is going to show up and say this is a double reverse. I don't know what that means either so just ignore him.

[CAS4127]

Ok bros next installment is one I really don't want to include but I know I have to if we're going to get TR to actually buy into our obvious superiority.


https://i.imgflip.com/5lxc7h.jpg


That's right bros. If we have to run the fucking sweep let's go sweep inception. I call this play... Sweepception. Because there's a sweep in the sweep, bro.


https://i.ibb.co/brzRrRk/jet-sweeps.png

There's a lot of shit going on here that needs to be broken down. To start, we have Hunter Luepke in the backfield behind QP. Spread out are Christian Watson, Sproles and Kobe Johnson. Watson motions in, defense is like "awww shit, jet sweep!" salivating like the rabid fucks they are. Fans are watching at home and are like "ahhh shit, jet sweep....." and sure enough, handed off to CW.

But then what's this? Sproles doubles back and takes the pitch as he goes by. Random TE because there's too many to remember the names seals the edge. Hunter takes out the MLB while the entire rest of the defense crashes left thinking Watson is Watsoning a Jet Sweep.

Boom, Sproles takes off for six, and no one mentions Tik Tok or NIL for two whole pages in the Game Day Thread until Lakes gets out of the bathroom.

CASS is going to show up and say this is a double reverse. I don't know what that means either so just ignore him.

The time it would take to develop that play (not to mention setting it up earlier in the game (which we wouldn’t do), parenthetically speaking of course) would take longer and be less successful than the last pass Cam Miller threw today.

[Kevin]

The time it would take to develop that play (not to mention setting it up earlier in the game (which we wouldn’t do), parenthetically speaking of course) would take longer and be less successful than the last pass Cam Miller threw today.

Watson and Sproles combined run a 4.22 40 yard dash, CAS. It's going to be so fast it might be too fast.

In fact I might tell them to slow it down to really incept the deception.

[Kevin]

Hey bro's I was just getting ready to go to sleep when I heard this ungodly noise coming from my office. What the fuck is that? I thought.

I got up and grabbed my AR-15 and crept down the hall. Almost shot my dog, she's black so she spooked me (because it was dark you racist).

Anyway, get into the office and it's my fucking fax machine buzzing and kicking out papers. This thing has a layer of dust on it as tall as lakes. I forgot I even had one.

I waited until it stopped printing and then I put two .223's into it to be safe. The first sixteen shots missed but the last two were money. Just in case anyone asks why we need 30 round magazines (that's clips to you ECE8HE).

I collected the paperwork and then I realized... it was CAS. CAS had sent us a play! I switched my AR-15's flashlight from "strobe" to "bright as fuck" and started looking over his work and I quickly realized why he was a champion. Truly brilliant. He didn't name the play though, so I'll take the honor. I call it "Boomer take the wheel":

https://i.ibb.co/qxGBYTb/boomer-wheel.png


As you can clearly see we're using the pro set offense. To anyone under the age of 60 who is confused that is when two running backs line up side by side in the backfield forming a triangle of death. In this case we have Gonnella and Johnson.

Nothing fancy. In fact, on the original fax CAS scribbled "no dancing". I assume that means in the endzone because this play is a guaranteed banger.

We have Watson far left running his deep route. We have two more unnamed receivers taking the safeties deep or running a safety valve route underneath. CAS scribbled another note here but it's hard to read. I think it might be written in blood?

Anyway, then the money shot. Our two backs running wheel routes in opposite directions.

Someone's going to be open for QP. Pick your poison defense. Death by Watson or Johnson?

Bravo, CAS. A great addition to the playbook.

[CAS4127]

Hey bro's I was just getting ready to go to sleep when I heard this ungodly noise coming from my office. What the fuck is that? I thought.

I got up and grabbed my AR-15 and crept down the hall. Almost shot my dog, she's black so she spooked me (because it was dark you racist).

Anyway, get into the office and it's my fucking fax machine buzzing and kicking out papers. This thing has a layer of dust on it as tall as lakes. I forgot I even had one.

I waited until it stopped printing and then I put two .223's into it to be safe. The first sixteen shots missed but the last two were money. Just in case anyone asks why we need 30 round magazines (that's clips to you ECE8HE).

I collected the paperwork and then I realized... it was CAS. CAS had sent us a play! I switched my AR-15's flashlight from "strobe" to "bright as fuck" and started looking over his work and I quickly realized why he was a champion. Truly brilliant. He didn't name the play though, so I'll take the honor. I call it "Boomer take the wheel":

https://i.ibb.co/qxGBYTb/boomer-wheel.png


As you can clearly see we're using the pro set offense. To anyone under the age of 60 who is confused that is when two running backs line up side by side in the backfield forming a triangle of death. In this case we have Gonnella and Johnson.

Nothing fancy. In fact, on the original fax CAS scribbled "no dancing". I assume that means in the endzone because this play is a guaranteed banger.

We have Watson far left running his deep route. We have two more unnamed receivers taking the safeties deep or running a safety valve route underneath. CAS scribbled another note here but it's hard to read. I think it might be written in blood?

Anyway, then the money shot. Our two backs running wheel routes in opposite directions.

Someone's going to be open for QP. Pick your poison defense. Death by Watson or Johnson?

Bravo, CAS. A great addition to the playbook.

The in-play pauses for NIL and tick toc takes doomed the play from the start, but it was otherwise solid.

[HerdBot]

Delta formation with 2 TEs and 3 fullbacks

When QP takes the snap, he does a pump fake and then all 3 fullbacks will pretend it's a fumble and point to the left

But then all 3 fullbacks will hit the B Gap along with the pulling guard with Uber power and anyone in the way will literally explode and QP will run through the biggest hole ever

We could call it Delta Delta Delta Varient QB power right with a fake fumble . Or we could have Luepke do a direct snap and then do the statue of liberty to QP

[Kevin]

Delta formation with 2 TEs and 3 fullbacks

When QP takes the snap, he does a pump fake and then all 3 fullbacks will pretend it's a fumble and point to the left

But then all 3 fullbacks will hit the B Gap along with the pulling guard with Uber power and anyone in the way will literally explode and QP will run through the biggest hole ever

We could call it Delta Delta Delta Varient QB power right with a fake fumble . Or we could have Luepke do a direct snap and then do the statue of liberty to QP

I'm actually drawing that one up as we speak I was calling it El Anexion de Inglaterra but I like the word play on delta so maybe something like The Breakthrough Infection

[El_Chapo]

I found Kevin!!


https://youtu.be/zg5ej7Eui30

waterboy playbook scene

"Kev ran the practices, I wrote the plays" haha

[scottietohottie]

I found Kevin!!


https://youtu.be/zg5ej7Eui30

waterboy playbook scene

"Kev ran the practices, I wrote the plays" haha

Mama says you're the devil.

[oldmantutters]

I've got no plays to add but love the creativity Kev. I'd you start the petition to replace TR with yourself I'll sign it. Mary want to have dinner NDSU football players correct my signature though because my residential status is... iffy.

Do you think we could get more guys into the end zone is we sell some ticky tocky thing in each EZ? Think of the dancing! Think of the NIL money that could be made!!

Sent from my Pixel 4a using Tapatalk

[scottietohottie]

I've got no plays to add

Sent from my Pixel 4a using Tapatalk

A pass to a tightend in the middle of the field would be a good start.

[GreenfieldBison]

A pass to a tightend in the middle of the field would be a good start.

QP completed two of those yesterday. One of them was even in the end zone!


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[scottietohottie]

QP completed two of those yesterday. One of them was even in the end zone!


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I spent the off-season studying football fields and boundary sides. Apparently a rectangle has 4 boundary sides. The end zone is not in the middle of the field. It's on the boundary side. I mean you could use your tightends in other places then just the redzone. I'm sure they're saving it for sdsu. Probably won't even run a qb on the first 3rd down that day.

[scottietohottie]

Like when the defense sells out to smash your running qb on the first 3rd down of the game and he throws it over their heads to a tightend kind of pass. Almost already a sdsu thing. Rpo.

[GreenfieldBison]

I spent the off-season studying football fields and boundary sides. Apparently a rectangle has 4 boundary sides. The end zone is not in the middle of the field. It's on the boundary side. I mean you could use your tightends in other places then just the redzone. I'm sure they're saving it for sdsu. Probably won't even run a qb on the first 3rd down that day.

Yes I can see that throwing to a TE in the EZ is certainly sub-optimal.

But anyway I don’t understand all this boundary and side-y stuff too good. According to the game stats Josh Babicz had two catches with an average distance of 13.5 yds, long of 18. That seems pretty middle-y to me. Might be splittin some of them hairs there though.


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[NDSU92]

Like when the defense sells out to smash your running qb on the first 3rd down of the game and he throws it over their heads to a tightend kind of pass. Almost already a sdsu thing. Rpo.

Yeah or we could run QB draw. Our predictiveness is difficult to predict.

[Kevin]

Alright bro's, this one is TESTED and PROVEN. I saw the neighborhood kids playing some two hand touch and I had them run it until one of them puked. 84% TD ratio.

That's a higher efficiency than the vaccine half of you are peddling like it's a fucking MLM.

Anyway here it is. It's called the Spin Cycle:

https://i.ibb.co/Hhd5j71/spin-cycle.png


Ima break this down for the football illiterate here like Hammersmith. We have QP, Our Boy Dom, Kobe and TaMerik in the Delta Formation. QP has to read the defense and announce in super secret code if the play is going left or right. This is so the lineman know who's pullin' and who's standing tall at the line. In this case he's chosen right because when you go left you get a disaster in Afghanistan and a nation hooked on experimental therapeutics.

Next, important timing here. The snap has to come as soon as Watson, who is in motion, clears the left ass cheek of the tackle. Second the ball snaps Watson runs straight at QP.

Then the three backs and Watson start running in a giant circle around QP. The rotating delta formation can roll slightly left or right as necessary. Once QP sees an opportunity he has the option to keep it himself or covertly hand it off to the guys as they run in this circle. Once someone has the ball everyone breaks in a different direction. Who has the ball?

We do.

And we're going to the end zone.

84% of the time.

[Kevin]

Our goal here isn't to redefine our cultural identity. We run the damn ball here. But A-Gap Power just isn't getting it down.

So I came up with this. Super A-Gap Power^3


https://i.ibb.co/0FyJ66R/super-a-gap.png

I know what you're thinking as you look at it. "Holy shit why didn't I think of that?"

It's really that simple. Everyone who can crams into the A-Gap clearing is clearing a path. A TE, two fullbacks, pulling linemen, all clearing a path for a back who is at least 135 pounds.

That's right, no more power runs with the Little People Society of NDSU. This is pure Hunter Fucking Luepke. TaMerik Williams. Our Boy Dom. Take your pick. Hell, put them all out there. Make them fight each other for who gets the gameday carry in the practice.

Just be sure the gloves are at least 16 ounces.

Big boys are hungry and this play is designed to let them eat.

[EC8CH]

Our goal here isn't to redefine our cultural identity. We run the damn ball here. But A-Gap Power just isn't getting it down.

So I came up with this. Super A-Gap Power^3


https://i.ibb.co/0FyJ66R/super-a-gap.png

I know what you're thinking as you look at it. "Holy shit why didn't I think of that?"

It's really that simple. Everyone who can crams into the A-Gap clearing is clearing a path. A TE, two fullbacks, pulling linemen, all clearing a path for a back who is at least 135 pounds.

That's right, no more power runs with the Little People Society of NDSU. This is pure Hunter Fucking Luepke. TaMerik Williams. Our Boy Dom. Take your pick. Hell, put them all out there. Make them fight each other for who gets the gameday carry in the practice.

Just be sure the gloves are at least 16 ounces.

Big boys are hungry and this play is designed to let them eat.

My a hole is sore just looking at that.

[Kevin]

My a hole is sore just looking at that.

Yeah, I’m sure that’s the only reason why.

[rutlandbison]

Cripes. First game of the year. Never going to provide film for the conference during a game when can be vanilla and win. Bisonville. A place where a single fumble can mean the end of a season.

[Kevin]

Cripes. First game of the year. Never going to provide film for the conference during a game when can be vanilla and win. Bisonville. A place where a single fumble can mean the end of a season.

We were saying that same excuse in the playoffs last year. “Don’t want to put anything on tape until the semis!”

[Kevin]

Well, well, well bro's... what do we have here?

A one and done play. Because it's gonna work the first time and that's about it because then it'll be on tape and everyone will know our secret weapon rides the pine.

This play is designed by yours truly and approved by ECE8HEH. It's called "The Left Hook".


https://i.ibb.co/RD2MQ67/left-hook.png

What it be do? Well, it starts with QP in shotgun. To his right, who's that? The Southpaw from Omaha? Mr. Should Be Wearing 13 Because He's 1 Better than Mr. Stick? Future First Round Draft Pick In My Fantasy League Cole Payton Manning?

Yes, it's him.

Defense is gonna be like "shit these guys have a lot of running backs and that one's tall as shit" when they see him line up.

Meanwhile we got everyone who can run a 4.5 or better stacked up left and a big brick shithouse from the TE room on the right. Pick whichever one you want I can't keep them straight anymore.

Everyone's gonna take off. QP is going to pitch and block whoever comes off the right. Payton's gonna set his feet and let it rip.

Everyone's gonna know the name and number after that. I promise you.

SportsCenter here we come.

[runtheoption]

Well, well, well bro's... what do we have here?

A one and done play. Because it's gonna work the first time and that's about it because then it'll be on tape and everyone will know our secret weapon rides the pine.

This play is designed by yours truly and approved by ECE8HEH. It's called "The Left Hook".


https://i.ibb.co/RD2MQ67/left-hook.png

What it be do? Well, it starts with QP in shotgun. To his right, who's that? The Southpaw from Omaha? Mr. Should Be Wearing 13 Because He's 1 Better than Mr. Stick? Future First Round Draft Pick In My Fantasy League Cole Payton Manning?

Yes, it's him.

Defense is gonna be like "shit these guys have a lot of running backs and that one's tall as shit" when they see him line up.

Meanwhile we got everyone who can run a 4.5 or better stacked up left and a big brick shithouse from the TE room on the right. Pick whichever one you want I can't keep them straight anymore.

Everyone's gonna take off. QP is going to pitch and block whoever comes off the right. Payton's gonna set his feet and let it rip.

Everyone's gonna know the name and number after that. I promise you.

SportsCenter here we come.

Ineligible receiver.

[Kevin]

Ineligible receiver.

So you bribe a ref or two bro that was supposed to be the unspoken part of it.

Like how SDSU got a 5th down in that “win” vs Colorado state.

[southcliffbison]

Ineligible receiver.

Yup, the receiver next to the left tackle is covered and if he goes beyond the expanded neutral zone and the QB throws a pass...........that would be a penalty for ineligible receiver down field.

[Kevin]

Ok bros next installment is one I really don't want to include but I know I have to if we're going to get TR to actually buy into our obvious superiority.


https://i.imgflip.com/5lxc7h.jpg


That's right bros. If we have to run the fucking sweep let's go sweep inception. I call this play... Sweepception. Because there's a sweep in the sweep, bro.


https://i.ibb.co/brzRrRk/jet-sweeps.png

There's a lot of shit going on here that needs to be broken down. To start, we have Hunter Luepke in the backfield behind QP. Spread out are Christian Watson, Sproles and Kobe Johnson. Watson motions in, defense is like "awww shit, jet sweep!" salivating like the rabid fucks they are. Fans are watching at home and are like "ahhh shit, jet sweep....." and sure enough, handed off to CW.

But then what's this? Sproles doubles back and takes the pitch as he goes by. Random TE because there's too many to remember the names seals the edge. Hunter takes out the MLB while the entire rest of the defense crashes left thinking Watson is Watsoning a Jet Sweep.

Boom, Sproles takes off for six, and no one mentions Tik Tok or NIL for two whole pages in the Game Day Thread until Lakes gets out of the bathroom.

CASS is going to show up and say this is a double reverse. I don't know what that means either so just ignore him.

This play just went for six.

YOU’RE. WELCOME.

[Kevin]

Our goal here isn't to redefine our cultural identity. We run the damn ball here. But A-Gap Power just isn't getting it down.

So I came up with this. Super A-Gap Power^3


https://i.ibb.co/0FyJ66R/super-a-gap.png

I know what you're thinking as you look at it. "Holy shit why didn't I think of that?"

It's really that simple. Everyone who can crams into the A-Gap clearing is clearing a path. A TE, two fullbacks, pulling linemen, all clearing a path for a back who is at least 135 pounds.

That's right, no more power runs with the Little People Society of NDSU. This is pure Hunter Fucking Luepke. TaMerik Williams. Our Boy Dom. Take your pick. Hell, put them all out there. Make them fight each other for who gets the gameday carry in the practice.

Just be sure the gloves are at least 16 ounces.

Big boys are hungry and this play is designed to let them eat.


You’re welcome.

[Kevin]

https://i.imgflip.com/5mnhxm.jpg

[NDSU92]

This is better than the time that McFeely took the text right out of a Bisonville post and put it in one of his columns.

Bisonville, the heart of Bison football since 2003(ish?). The brains since 2021.

Put it on a tshirt

[gavin2126]

This is better than the time that McFeely took the text right out of a Bisonville post and put it in one of his columns.

Bisonville, the heart of Bison football since 2003(ish?). The brains since 2021.

Put it on a tshirt

He really did that?

[EC8CH]

He really did that?

Pffffft. Naaaah.

[NDSU92]

Pffffft. Naaaah.

Well not in reality, but in my realistic artistic illustration he did. I asked for his permission, and he said it was fine. And by that I mean when I asked him I told him that no response was the same as saying it was okay. He hasn’t gotten back to me so for now it’s legally acceptable.

In all seriousness, McFeely pulls his straw man arguments directly from BV. Just like next week how he’ll talk about online message boards thinking they’re calling the plays.

[SlickVic]

this is GOAT kev

[Kevin]

this is GOAT kev

thanks bro i'm thinking about holding weekly press conferences to discuss the progression of this bitch bangin playbook

[Kevin]

It was brought to my attention that the last play was technically "illegal" even though SDSU runs it all the time without issue. So fine. I replaced it with this.

I call it Dos Tres. Because it's TWO sets of trips running routes I drew up personally. Look at that stupid as shit defense. They're like "Wow is that Phoenix Sproles? From the Tick Tack?" yes, but we're not going to throw it to him.

It's going to Watson or Luepke whom we lined him up wide because fuck you that's why.


https://i.ibb.co/2FRWPqq/totally-legit.png



p.S. the QB here is Cole. Payton. not saying he should start tho. but also not saying he shouldn't.

p.p.s. he probably should

[GreenfieldBison]

It was brought to my attention that the last play was technically "illegal" even though SDSU runs it all the time without issue. So fine. I replaced it with this.

I call it Dos Tres. Because it's TWO sets of trips running routes I drew up personally. Look at that stupid as shit defense. They're like "Wow is that Phoenix Sproles? From the Tick Tack?" yes, but we're not going to throw it to him.

It's going to Watson or Luepke whom we lined him up wide because fuck you that's why.


https://i.ibb.co/2FRWPqq/totally-legit.png



p.S. the QB here is Cole. Payton. not saying he should start tho. but also not saying he shouldn't.

p.p.s. he probably should

Unlike you I’m not real strong on the whole x o thing but I thought we were only supposed to be able to have eleven on the field at one time no?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Kevin]

Unlike you I’m not real strong on the whole x o thing but I thought we were only supposed to be able to have eleven on the field at one time no?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

SDSU runs it all the time!

[GreenfieldBison]

SDSU runs it all the time!

Should probably tell the league office. Do they read your playbook?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HerdBot]

It was brought to my attention that the last play was technically "illegal" even though SDSU runs it all the time without issue. So fine. I replaced it with this.

I call it Dos Tres. Because it's TWO sets of trips running routes I drew up personally. Look at that stupid as shit defense. They're like "Wow is that Phoenix Sproles? From the Tick Tack?" yes, but we're not going to throw it to him.

It's going to Watson or Luepke whom we lined him up wide because fuck you that's why.


https://i.ibb.co/2FRWPqq/totally-legit.png



p.S. the QB here is Cole. Payton. not saying he should start tho. but also not saying he shouldn't.

p.p.s. he probably should

Is the the CFL or are we trying to sneak an extra player on the field?

[Kevin]

Is the the CFL or are we trying to sneak an extra player on the field?

Wait they let 12 people play at once in Canada?

I refuse to watch that shit. Maybe I should start.

[EC8CH]

Wait they let 12 people play at once in Canada?

I refuse to watch that shit. Maybe I should start.

With the exchange rate, it's equivalent to 11 American football players.

[56BISON73]

Wait they let 12 people play at once in Canada?

I refuse to watch that shit. Maybe I should start.

You just found your market.

[gavin2126]

With the exchange rate, it's equivalent to 11 American football players.

No it’s because of the metric system.

[1998braves64]

Wait they let 12 people play at once in Canada?

I refuse to watch that shit. Maybe I should start.They also have a C yard line. Because you know exchange rates and metric.

Sent from my Pixel 3a XL on a bullet train from Hillsboro.

[23Bison]

I’ve played against our Northern friends in Saskatchewan out of high school. Just us lowly little 9 man ND kids against what looked like 60 Canadian men that just got done squeezing fresh maple syrup straight from the maple trunk. Needless to say, they fuckn suck at football!!! I wish I had tape of that game. So many blind side hits were taken by the syrup squeezers. It was still legal then I might add. Lots of fun up in Foam Lake, SK.

[Kevin]

Renaming the play O Canada. It stays. Well only run it when we have CAA refs they’ll never notice.

[Kevin]

Alright bro's, this one is TESTED and PROVEN. I saw the neighborhood kids playing some two hand touch and I had them run it until one of them puked. 84% TD ratio.

That's a higher efficiency than the vaccine half of you are peddling like it's a fucking MLM.

Anyway here it is. It's called the Spin Cycle:

https://i.ibb.co/Hhd5j71/spin-cycle.png


Ima break this down for the football illiterate here like Hammersmith. We have QP, Our Boy Dom, Kobe and TaMerik in the Delta Formation. QP has to read the defense and announce in super secret code if the play is going left or right. This is so the lineman know who's pullin' and who's standing tall at the line. In this case he's chosen right because when you go left you get a disaster in Afghanistan and a nation hooked on experimental therapeutics.

Next, important timing here. The snap has to come as soon as Watson, who is in motion, clears the left ass cheek of the tackle. Second the ball snaps Watson runs straight at QP.

Then the three backs and Watson start running in a giant circle around QP. The rotating delta formation can roll slightly left or right as necessary. Once QP sees an opportunity he has the option to keep it himself or covertly hand it off to the guys as they run in this circle. Once someone has the ball everyone breaks in a different direction. Who has the ball?

We do.

And we're going to the end zone.

84% of the time.


Bumping this awesome thread so TR uses it again.

And also to point out that the Kansas City Chiefs of Kansas implemented a variation of this in the redzone. They ran it during the season and once during the superb owl.

I am a great offensive mind and deserve the headset next year bros.

[Bisonator98]

Bumping this awesome thread so TR uses it again.

And also to point out that the Kansas City Chiefs of Kansas implemented a variation of this in the redzone. They ran it during the season and once during the superb owl.

I am a great offensive mind and deserve the headset next year bros.

Will you be in the booth or on the sidelines Kev?

[Kevin]

Will you be in the booth or on the sidelines Kev?

i'm a booth guy bro i can see better up there and i can't hear lakes yelling shit at me

[HerdBot]

Alright bro's, this one is TESTED and PROVEN. I saw the neighborhood kids playing some two hand touch and I had them run it until one of them puked. 84% TD ratio.

That's a higher efficiency than the vaccine half of you are peddling like it's a fucking MLM.

Anyway here it is. It's called the Spin Cycle:

https://i.ibb.co/Hhd5j71/spin-cycle.png


Ima break this down for the football illiterate here like Hammersmith. We have QP, Our Boy Dom, Kobe and TaMerik in the Delta Formation. QP has to read the defense and announce in super secret code if the play is going left or right. This is so the lineman know who's pullin' and who's standing tall at the line. In this case he's chosen right because when you go left you get a disaster in Afghanistan and a nation hooked on experimental therapeutics.

Next, important timing here. The snap has to come as soon as Watson, who is in motion, clears the left ass cheek of the tackle. Second the ball snaps Watson runs straight at QP.

Then the three backs and Watson start running in a giant circle around QP. The rotating delta formation can roll slightly left or right as necessary. Once QP sees an opportunity he has the option to keep it himself or covertly hand it off to the guys as they run in this circle. Once someone has the ball everyone breaks in a different direction. Who has the ball?

We do.

And we're going to the end zone.

84% of the time.

Gotta run around the running QB like an atom . It's all about timing, quickness, agility, and latetal movement. Guys with good 3 cone agility would excel in this play. If you fuck up the timing, all 3 blockers could run into each other and trip up the QB

We could call it atom bomb right

https://iheartcraftythings.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/6-25.jpg

[KSBisonFan]

Gotta run around the running QB like an atom . It's all about timing, quickness, agility, and latetal movement. Guys with good 3 cone agility would excel in this play. If you fuck up the timing, all 3 blockers could run into each other and trip up the QB

We could call it atom bomb right

https://iheartcraftythings.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/6-25.jpg

What does the QB's 40 time have to be? What's the minimum height for OL?

[Kevin]

Gotta run around the running QB like an atom . It's all about timing, quickness, agility, and latetal movement. Guys with good 3 cone agility would excel in this play. If you fuck up the timing, all 3 blockers could run into each other and trip up the QB

We could call it atom bomb right

https://iheartcraftythings.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/6-25.jpg

This is exactly the kind of innovation we need bro. I'll add it to the sheet.


Other name ideas:

fatman (for the big package)
little boy (for the speed package)
split the atom
radiation poisoning but still not as bad as ohio
boom

[BISONBRI53]

This is exactly the kind of innovation we need bro. I'll add it to the sheet.


Other name ideas:
fatman (for the big package)

little boy (for the speed package)
split the atom
radiation poisoning but still not as bad as ohio
boom


You want to name a play after Lakes? You know he will take credit for it right?

[gavin2126]

You want to name a play after Lakes? You know he will take credit for it right?

Not if the play lasts longer than 5 seconds.

[scottietohottie]

You want to name a play after Lakes? You know he will take credit for it right?

I want espn to have the score at the bottom of the screen saying lakes eh.

[BISONBRI53]

I want espn to have the score at the bottom of the screen saying lakes eh.

Lakes Dakota State... Lakes D St. ... LDSU SOMEONE EMAIL THEM AND TELL THEM IT"S WRONG!!!!

[HerdBot]

What does the QB's 40 time have to be? What's the minimum height for OL?

The QB cant be too fast or he will outrun the atom shield. Slow and stready, but strong enough to shed a tackle if the shield is compromised. A prototypical QB would be built like Bryan Schaetz

The o-lineman must be tall and athletic. They must be able to create a pulling wedge for the atom to run behind. Basically they just lock hands and skip like a 9 year old girl with pigtails in front of the atom.

Pursuing tacklers will stop and uncontollably start laughing. So they will have to be charismatic and sell the comedy. It's very much deception.