Playoff Matchup 2018

[thebigund]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

[Bison Dan]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

LOL - First of all there isn't a coach on your whole team that would be an assistant to any of our assistant coaches. When is that last time that anyone from und said wow great half time adjustments. Just doesn't happen up there. As far as players like I said our 2's and 3's are better than your starters. Your players were crap last year and now their going to come back and be all stars???

[Bison 4 Life]

You mean Sean Engel, the WR for Augustana?

[MNLonghorn10]

I agree with this. Und is going to be a machine. How fun will it be when it's#1 und vs #2 ndsu in Frisco?!

[Bison bison]

Your players were crap last year and now their going to come back and be all stars???

all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

[17>1]

Spot on!! Wish I could give you another red Chiclet for this masterpiece, but I seriously only give them to you and Alsen and I'm not able to do so right now. How and when did Alsen get into the green btw?!!

I LOL'd at the Conner comment about him even being able to physically slide, that was good.

[thebigund]

You mean Sean Engel, the WR for Augustana?

No, the big time 6’5” wr that you guys have been waiting for. He’s bound to make a huge impact this year. Isn’t he?

[thebigund]

LOL - First of all there isn't a coach on your whole team that would be an assistant to any of our assistant coaches. When is that last time that anyone from und said wow great half time adjustments. Just doesn't happen up there. As far as players like I said our 2's and 3's are better than your starters. Your players were crap last year and now their going to come back and be all stars???

I figured either you or 1980 would surely be the first to reply. Thanks for not disappointing.

[THEsocalledfan]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

Am I the only one who enjoys undies sense of humor? That was a great read. Undies, you should have had some more fun with Sean E. since he is no longer a Bison. My LOL moments were you putting the QB's over NDSU and RB, even with your supposed "stars."

Need you defensive assessment......

[thebootfitter]

Am I the only one who enjoys undies sense of humor? That was a great read. Undies, you should have had some more fun with Sean E. since he is no longer a Bison. My LOL moments were you putting the QB's over NDSU and RB, even with your supposed "stars."

Need you defensive assessment......

I actually gave him a green chiclet for this comedic gold. Ha ha!

[Mr. Burgundy]

Great takes. Great read. He singlehandedly keeps two message boards going. I like how he picks on a couple recruiting misses. In the last few years there hasn't been many. Some kids with 15 D1 offers come in and flat out suck! haha. Fun read. Thank you!

My one comment. The most anticipated game of the year: UND vs Sammy. Last year Sammy refused to compete. I have never seen so a big gap in teams. That reminded me of the 3 first down game against UND in the dome. One team was telling the other what play was being run and the other team had zero chance of stopping it. So now Sammy graduates their best two players, their franchise QB and we are supposed to think they are good? They are a bottom feeder in any other league. What is their strength? They have a couple fast kids? who cares, they are a disaster. With that said, it is a monster game on the UND schedule. One I am interested in seeing. Bubba must clearly be focusing on that game since he isn't out recruiting. Will be a whale of a game. A must win for UND who after that will not have a chance to have a meaningful win as of course they don't play anyone good in the Big Sky again. So it will be tough for them to have a playoff resume if they lose this game, but I find it hard to believe you could possibly lose to Sammy who was probably the worst team in the dome last year and then graduated their stud QB. I just don't see Bubba losing that. Eric Schmidt will again send the house on every single play leading to a few sacks, a force fumble...and the other teams band playing several times as he again left his corners on an island. But, if they lose it won't be Bubba's fault, as Tommy will write a nice piece in the Herald about how injuries last year slowed the process and they are just getting to know eachother more. #daybyday #brickbybring

[Christopher Moen]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

F'Hawking viruses!!!
http://i.imgur.com/g6ckIXc.gif

[MankatoBison]

This is gold- I laughed out loud 5-6 times haha

[totoinfl]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

I had to do a double take...I thought somehow a hacker had redirected this page to The Onion...I am a sucker for good or bad satire....

[abc123]

A must win for UND who after that will not have a chance to have a meaningful win as of course they don't play anyone good in the Big Sky again.

I'll give you EWU, but I'm still confused by this since I see Montana on the schedule. All the experts claimed that was the other good team UND missed in 2016. I've been convinced that is all that matters. Are you saying that isn't true??

[56BISON73]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

https://i.imgur.com/ixJdIBV.jpg

[NDSU1980]

UN_ can make the playoffs with a 3-8 record??? :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Vet70]

thebigund at his best. By the way, he only left one thing out: 1>14.

[THEsocalledfan]

I actually gave him a green chiclet for this comedic gold. Ha ha!

I gave him a red Chiclet as that is a badge of honor for Undies.

[runtheoption]

LOL - First of all there isn't a coach on your whole team that would be an assistant to any of our assistant coaches. When is that last time that anyone from und said wow great half time adjustments. Just doesn't happen up there. As far as players like I said our 2's and 3's are better than your starters. Your players were crap last year and now their going to come back and be all stars???

Go on...

"What's Bugging Andy?" also gets Bison Dan fired up.

[Mr. Burgundy]

I'll give you EWU, but I'm still confused by this since I see Montana on the schedule. All the experts claimed that was the other good team UND missed in 2016. I've been convinced that is all that matters. Are you saying that isn't true??

Hey bud, the big sky is awful football. Slowly admit it. You will see soon what a schedule is like. You can disagree if you want. Don't lose to Sammy or you have no playoff resume.

[NovaBison]

Thanks for posting this... my summer is complete thanks to your satire! :)

[No_Skill]

Ahhhhh preseason when hope springs eternal.

[thebigund]

Thanks for posting this... my summer is complete thanks to your satire! :)

This is only the warm up. It gets real when I start talking defense.

[CyPanth]

thebigund at his best. By the way, he only left one thing out: 1>14.


No UNI. Didn't read.

[Christopher Moen]

No UNI. Didn't read.

Don't waste your time reading his posts. Otherwise, you'll end up like this guy -
https://media.giphy.com/media/ulL1WJI6ykOLSX9vEN/giphy.gif

[thebigund]

Don't waste your time reading his posts. Otherwise, you'll end up like this guy -
https://media.giphy.com/media/ulL1WJI6ykOLSX9vEN/giphy.gif

How long did it take you to learn how to tie your Velcro shoes?

[thebigund]

No UNI. Didn't read.

UNI? You mean the team we haven’t lost to in 20 years?

[EndZoneQB]

Hey bud, the big sky is awful football. Slowly admit it. You will see soon what a schedule is like. You can disagree if you want. Don't lose to Sammy or you have no playoff resume.

There is a reason the "voice of the Fighting Hawks" is on the radio advertising getting tickets now before they join the "highly competitive Missouri Valley Football Conference". We know it, they know it, every FCS conference in America knows it.

[Christopher Moen]

How long did it take you to learn how to tie your Velcro shoes?

Seriously, that’s your best retort? My guess, you blew all your creativity in one wad today. Sadly, it was a recycled one you’ve been reusing too many late Summers in a row.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.

[totoinfl]

UNI? You mean the team we haven’t lost to in 20 years?

I guess if you don't play them you can't lose...

[totoinfl]

Seriously, that’s your best retort? My guess, you blew all your creativity in one wad today. Sadly, it was a recycled one you’ve been reusing too many late Summers in a row.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.

Dude, don't tell him to blow his wad...his mom will be cleaning the computer screen for a week.

[thebigund]

Seriously, that’s your best retort? My guess, you blew all your creativity in one wad today. Sadly, it was a recycled one you’ve been reusing too many late Summers in a row.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.

You are hardly worthy of my b material.

[thebigund]

I guess if you don't play them you can't lose...

We beat them at their place years before you guys, and we were a poor little d2 team at the time.

[thebigund]

Dude, don't tell him to blow his wad...his mom will be cleaning the computer screen for a week.

Yea, whatever, looser.

[Bison Dan]

We beat them at their place years before you guys, and we were a poor little d2 team at the time.

Ah the glory days....

[MNLonghorn10]

We beat them at their place years before you guys, and we were a poor little d2 team at the time.

does that rank above or just behind the Wyoming win?

[aces1180]

We beat them at their place years before you guys, and we were a poor little d2 team at the time.

Kind of what we did to Montana, yeah?

[TransAmBison]

Great observations by thebigund. I just love this guys posts. My kind of scum.

[Vet70]

UNI? You mean the team we haven’t lost to in 20 years?

Patience, that will all change in a couple of years.

[perthbison]

We beat them at their place years before you guys, and we were a poor little d2 team at the time.
Cling to that win. Grip it tightly and don’t let go of it. Make it last.
What ever became of Chappell after that season? He looked like a player but apparently had some screws loose

[thebigund]

Cling to that win. Grip it tightly and don’t let go of it. Make it last.
What ever became of Chappell after that season? He looked like a player but apparently had some screws loose

That was his fr year. He was even better as a soph. My memory gets a bit fuzzy after that.

[tony]

Kind of like to see a "UND vs. San Diego 2018 Playoff Matchup" breakdown.

[WhoRepsTheLurker]

we were a poor little d2 team at the time.

Kind of funny how some things never change around here …

[Vet70]

Great observations by thebigund. I just love this guys posts. My kind of scum.

I think thebigund's posts are a great comic relief and theatre of the absurd at the same time:
"Logical construction and argument give way to irrational and illogical speech and to its ultimate conclusion, silence."

[TransAmBison]

I think thebigund's posts are a great comic relief and theatre of the absurd at the same time:
"Logical construction and argument give way to irrational and illogical speech and to its ultimate conclusion, silence."I think thebigund should be promoted to the thunderstruck makers presidency since Loaf has been banned, tarred, and feathered.

[Vet70]

I think thebigund should be promoted to the thunderstruck makers presidency since Loaf has been banned, tarred, and feathered.

Giving thebigund the presidency would be a fitting punishment. Come to think of it he couldn't do any worse than Loaf.

[Bisonator98]

I always look forward to this time honored tradition. I'm guessing UN_ owns us defensively and don't even bother doing special teams because ours aren't........special that is......

[Bison Loaf]

I think thebigund should be promoted to the thunderstruck makers presidency since Loaf has been banned, tarred, and feathered.

We're not exactly sure here, because we never read the damn thing, but it is our understanding that Thunderstruck Makers doesn't have a "President" per se. Their bylaws appear to expressly require that they be managed by a Primo Executive Lifetime Super Honcho.

BIG, big difference in skillsets, obviously.


BV Admin

[scottietohottie]

I just hope this playoff game is in Grand forks. Save me 144 miles of traveling plus they have a water slide.

[TransAmBison]

We're not exactly sure here, because we never read the damn thing, but it is our understanding that Thunderstruck Makers doesn't have a "President" per se. Their bylaws appear to expressly require that they be managed by a Primo Executive Lifetime Super Honcho.

BIG, big difference in skillsets, obviously.


BV AdminSo what you are saying is Loaf needs to "disappear"? This appears to be an acceptable option to most, if not all. I will get the Craigslist ad up within the hour.

[NDSU1980]

UNI? You mean the team we haven’t lost to in 20 years?

And it will probably be another 20 years til you beat UNI again too. You'll be the new MVFC doormat.

[Rock]

So what you are saying is Loaf needs to "disappear"? This appears to be an acceptable option to most, if not all. I will get the Craigslist ad up within the hour.

Where is Loaf anyway? BV admin- can you tell us if he has been lurking while suspended? Do you have some IP address review magic or something?

How long is an appropriate waiting period before I pledge allegiance to the new Supreme Honcho?

Not sure how I feel about reporting to Undies, but he will have a more recent skill set from watching his favorite team move up to a superior conference. How does he feel about Axl? Will he try and add “bring back bleacher creature” to the priorities list?

So many questions...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[admin]

Where is Loaf anyway? BV admin- can you tell us if he has been lurking while suspended? Do you have some IP address review magic or something?


A. Suspended? Bison Loaf? Not that I know of.
B. I did trace the IP address from his last post... and IT'S COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!

[HerdBot]

That was pretty good

[Rock]

A. Suspended? Bison Loaf? Not that I know of.
B. I did trace the IP address from his last post... and IT'S COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!

WHAAT?!?

I am out of town for work.... LOAF!!!!

https://youtu.be/h4F4w58NNv0



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[thebigund]

And it will probably be another 20 years til you beat UNI again too. You'll be the new MVFC doormat.

No. We wiped our asses with Missery St last year and the UNI done is like a second home to us. All we do is win down there.

[Christopher Moen]

No. We wiped our asses with Missery St last year and the UNI done is like a second home to us. All we do is win down there.

You F'Hawkers are 1-2 at the UNI-Dome according to Massey Ratings (https://www.masseyratings.com/rival.php?t0=5538&t1=5641&lg=41714).

[2011BisonAlumni]

What is more embarrassing?

1.) the UND football product in and of itself
2.) the fact the state subsidized UND football to the tune of $2.3M in 2017 to support said product’s deficit

[Vet70]

You F'Hawkers are 1-2 at the UNI-Dome according to Massey Ratings (https://www.masseyratings.com/rival.php?t0=5538&t1=5641&lg=41714).

You know thebigund never lets facts get in his way. And when you are 3-8 I guess you have a right to brag about beating another 3-8 team.

[thebigund]

You F'Hawkers are 1-2 at the UNI-Dome according to Massey Ratings (https://www.masseyratings.com/rival.php?t0=5538&t1=5641&lg=41714).

What’s our record in the Fargo Loaf?

[EC8CH]

What’s our record in the Fargo Loaf?

Pretty shrewd move getting to play both games in the Fargodome knowing how unstoppable you are there. Probably why you took less money than DII get.

[bisonfanette]

A. Suspended? Bison Loaf? Not that I know of.
B. I did trace the IP address from his last post... and IT'S COMING FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!

Admin - please check your PMs. Thanks!

[Christopher Moen]

What’s our record in the Fargo Loaf?

I don't know about football games being played in a Fargo Loaf (or how it relates to you guys playing at the UNI-Dome), but you F'Hawkers will have a losing at the FargoDome shortly, and hopefully within a decade after that happens, the overall record is no longer askew due to NDAC/NDSU not taking football seriously enough prior to the mid-60's. Of course, in order for all of this to happen, you guys need to make the playoffs a few times, and of course, not drop your program.

[HerdBot]

Here are the previous ones
2017 -
http://www.bisonville.com/forum/showthread.php?38353-Playoff-Matchup-2017

2016
http://www.bisonville.com/forum/showthread.php?37089-Playoff-Matchup-2016

2015
http://www.bisonville.com/forum/showthread.php?35406-The-Official-Sept-19th-2015-Playoff-Game-Preview-Scrimmage-in-the-FargoLoaf

2014
http://www.bisonville.com/forum/showthread.php?33238-Playoff-Matchup-2014

2013
http://www.bisonville.com/forum/showthread.php?30279-Playoff-Matchup-2013

[ndsubison1]

Sammy will beat UND. And I didn't know they played Pac12 Fav Washington LOL

[Vet70]

I don't know about football games being played in a Fargo Loaf (or how it relates to you guys playing at the UNI-Dome), but you F'Hawkers will have a losing at the FargoDome shortly, and hopefully within a decade after that happens, the overall record is no longer askew due to NDAC/NDSU not taking football seriously enough prior to the mid-60's. Of course, in order for all of this to happen, you guys need to make the playoffs a few times, and of course, not drop your program.

It's called, "Okay, you got me. Now I'm going to deflect and change the subject."

[TAILG8R]

Sammy will beat UND. And I didn't know they played Pac12 Fav Washington LOL

That's a pick'em game.





As in Washington can pick their score. I'm going with 63-6 Huskies.

[thebigund]

I don't know about football games being played in a Fargo Loaf (or how it relates to you guys playing at the UNI-Dome), but you F'Hawkers will have a losing at the FargoDome shortly, and hopefully within a decade after that happens, the overall record is no longer askew due to NDAC/NDSU not taking football seriously enough prior to the mid-60's. Of course, in order for all of this to happen, you guys need to make the playoffs a few times, and of course, not drop your program.
Ah yes, the old, BM AM argument.

[thebigund]

Sammy will beat UND. And I didn't know they played Pac12 Fav Washington LOL

Thing is, if we beat Sammy they will be touted as shity and soft. It’s a loose loose situation, so we better win.

[THEsocalledfan]

I get such a kick out of this thread yearly. Folks, Undies is trolling you. If you don't have a clever response, don't respond. This is satire and you are dealing with a master. (Example, citing NDSU not taking football seriously until the 1960's is not a clever response.....) If you don't get it, carry on so I can have more humor watching Undies toy with you.

[MNLonghorn10]

I wonder if moen realizes calling them F'hawkers peaked back in 2016.

[Christopher Moen]

I get such a kick out of this thread yearly. Folks, Undies is trolling you. If you don't have a clever response, don't respond. This is satire and you are dealing with a master. (Example, citing NDSU not taking football seriously until the 1960's is not a clever response.....) If you don't get it, carry on so I can have more humor watching Undies toy with you.

Don’t misquote me.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.

[thebigund]

Don’t misquote me.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.
I don’t see any quotation marks in his post.

[Bisonator98]

I wonder if moen realizes calling them F'hawkers peaked back in 2016.

yeah now their just fawkers

[Christopher Moen]

I don’t see any quotation marks in his post.

Being dense, is that natural for you or do you have to try really, really hard?

[Christopher Moen]

I wonder if moen realizes calling them F'hawkers peaked back in 2016.

Dude, it's something I came up with, and I'll keep calling them it, regardless of when you feel it "peaked."

[thebigund]

Being dense, is that natural for you or do you have to try really, really hard?

I do have a pretty great body composition. Good genes I guess, so yea, it is natural for me but I also try really really hard in the gym so I can look good naked.

[Twincitybizon]

:duel::fight::fight::fight:

[CyPanth]

I get such a kick out of this thread yearly. Folks, Undies is trolling you. If you don't have a clever response, don't respond. This is satire and you are dealing with a master. (Example, citing NDSU not taking football seriously until the 1960's is not a clever response.....) If you don't get it, carry on so I can have more humor watching Undies toy with you.


I'm amused at getting him distracted with a throw-away line about UNI not being mentioned and now he can't stop posting about us.

[Christopher Moen]

I do have a pretty great body composition. Good genes I guess, so yea, it is natural for me but I also try really really hard in the gym so I can look good naked.

Sounds like you like gladiator movies. Have fun with that, but not here.

[thebigund]

Sounds like you like gladiator movies. Have fun with that, but not here.

Pretty rich coming from a guy who used to get all lathered up, throw on a unitard, and roll on the floor with a pile of dudes for a living.

[TransAmBison]

Pretty rich coming from a guy who used to get all lathered up, throw on a unitard, and roll on the floor with a pile of dudes for a living.:rofl: :rofl:

[THEsocalledfan]

:rofl: :rofl:

Must spread rep. I tried to talk sense to the man......:) He's using a knife in a gunfight.

[Christopher Moen]

Pretty rich coming from a guy who used to get all lathered up, throw on a unitard, and roll on the floor with a pile of dudes for a living.

Sounds like this misconception of wrestling is another Freudian Slip of your, well, preference.

By the way, keep deflecting from your claim about how you F’Hawkers do nothing but win at the UNI-Dome despite being proven incorrect.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.

[Mr. Burgundy]

Chris should not represent NDSU in a trash talk contest. He is F'Hawking terrible at it.

[totoinfl]

Yea, whatever, looser.

That's the spirit...I feel so much better when insulted by three words, two commas and poor spelling...my day is complete...I can go home now.

[Vet70]

:rofl: :rofl:

I really hated to rep thebigund, but I have to admit.....

[Christopher Moen]

Chris should not represent NDSU in a trash talk contest. He is F'Hawking terrible at it.

In my defense, I'm playing down, and I mean way down (as far as I can without needing to get a lobotomy), to the competition.

[thebigund]

In my defense, I'm playing down, and I mean way down (as far as I can without needing to get a lobotomy), to the competition.

Just keep going. You’re in the fucking zone.

[EC8CH]

I wonder if moen realizes calling them F'hawkers peaked back in 2016.

Coincidentally the exact same year as their football team did.

[Christopher Moen]

Just keep going. You’re in the fucking zone.

Dude, you have all wrong. It's called the F'Hawking Zone.

[TransAmBison]

In my defense, I'm playing down, and I mean way down (as far as I can without needing to get a lobotomy), to the competition.Your best defense right now would be to own up to the fact that you've been beaten. To argue it further just digs the hole deeper.

[Bisonator98]

Come on undies when is the defensive breakdown coming???

[Christopher Moen]

Your best defense right now would be to own up to the fact that you've been beaten. To argue it further just digs the hole deeper.

How did I get beat? All I've been doing is feeding the dumb F'Hawker troll back the the juvenile rhetoric he lives by.

[EC8CH]

Your best defense right now would be to own up to the fact that you've been beaten. To argue it further just digs the hole deeper.

I'd switch topics and beat on Big Undies for their recruit who flipped his verbal. His tender feelings are exposed on that subject.

I agree, on this topic it's a losing cause. Big Undie has won. It's over.

[MNLonghorn10]

How did I get beat? All I've been doing is feeding the dumb F'Hawker troll back the the juvenile rhetoric he lives by.Because you're doing a shittier job at trash talking than lakes circa 2007

[Christopher Moen]

Because you're doing a shittier job at trash talking than lakes circa 2007

So you agree with the F'Hawker that UND owns the UNI-Dome?

[Vet70]

So you agree with the F'Hawker that UND owns the UNI-Dome?

Chris, thebigund won't ever admit he is wrong. And sometimes you've got to know when to quit. Look at it like UN_ football---they are bound to win one every now and then.

[Christopher Moen]

Chris, thebigund won't ever admit he is wrong. And sometimes you've got to know when to quit. Look at it like UN_ football---they are bound to win one every now and then.

But, I'm having fun these guys.....

[BisManBison]

Come on undies when is the defensive breakdown coming???

Allow me to sum it up:

State's Exhibit A:

NDSU defense:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qeg5SfkY4iY

[BisManBison]

Come on undies when is the defensive breakdown coming???

And State's Exhibit B:

UN_'s _efense:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luLsc_oSm7s

[Bisonator98]

UN_'s should just be a white flag.:)

[BisManBison]

UN_'s should just be a white flag.:)

Isn't the French flag essentially a white flag? :biggrin:

[Vet70]

Isn't the French flag essentially a white flag? :biggrin:

The funniest humor is always rooted in truth. Very well done. :rofl:

[NDSU1980]

UN_'s should just be a white flag.:)

No, UN_'s color is pink and white. Shows how tough they are.

[CyPanth]

Allow me to sum it up:

State's Exhibit A:

NDSU defense:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qeg5SfkY4iY


I was at that game . . . many times!

[NDSU1980]

Fall camp is right around the corner. The boys took a year off because they felt bad watching NDSU shit the bed at home in the playoffs. It just doesn’t feel right when the targeted spot of #1 isn’t held by teh bisons. Now that order has been restored in the FCS world teh Fighting Hawks are rested and ready to piss in your cereal. For some reason we aren’t ranked in the top 5 preseason again this year. Is Craig asleep at the fucking wheel?

Coaching:
HC- OK fine, Bubba had a down year in 2017, I’ll give Kleiman the slight edge thanks to Tyler Roehl.
Advantage-NDSU
OC- Rudolph is the most hated UND coordinator I can ever remember. The dude is public enemy number one with our fans. The shit flows downstream right on top of his head after every game. As usual you dumb fucks love to complain about OCs. It’s like famers, always finding something with the weather to bitch about. Messingham rests atop a throne of sprinkles, I was the first one on this cesspool of a website to say it and after a few games some of you simpletons got in line. I can’t support a coach who doesn’t throw a screen pass to the most explosive open field player in the national at any level. So I guess that means Mr. Sprinkles get the edge here.
Advantage- NDSU
DC- Matt Entz has been the beneficiary of some spectacular LB play during his time at NDSU. Will this year be different? OF course not, teh bison just reload, I mean you guys just kill it with recruiting. Eric Schmidt is the man, his defense sucked a big ol cock last year after the injury to Donnel Rodgers and the rest of the MLBs.

Advantage-UND

OFFENSE:
QB:
Is Easton Stick still hanging around elementary schools selling candy with his pedostache? He’s probably got the starting position locked down. Henry VanDabbin has got to be the top backup this year. I mean you can see the smoke trail behind the ball when he rips one. Definitely my favorite player on the rasta, just so chill. However, Tre Lance is the new best QB on campus. Ever since he committed, lotion sales in the FM area have sky rocketed, as have views of his HS highlights. Merely a coincidence I’m sure, sick fucks.

UND has a three way battle going into fall camp for QB. That said, Nate Ketteringham will be the starter. He has starting experience from Sac St and has all the tools you want in a QB. He’s 6’3” 210lbs so he can actually see over his OL, a luxury that our last qb did not have. Dude is absolutely dripping with potential. His backup will likely be the gun slinging backup from last year Andrew Zimmerman. RFR Brock Boltman has had rave reviews since he stepped on campus drawing comparisons to Danny Freund, only with a stronger arm. This is the best our qb room has looked since 2012 so an injury to the starter won’t completely ruin our season like it did in 2015.

Advantage- UND, there’s nothing more sexy than potential

FB:
We suck. Advantage-NDSU

RB:
All of a sudden Bruce Anderson is an NFL prospect? Bullshit. Lance Dunn was the better back before he wrecked his hip. Bruce is a really good back, don’t get me wrong. He’s just not a game breaker. All of his plays are the product of superior blocking. Dunn, on the other hand, has a little more shake to him and can make a play out of nothing. I wonder if he’ll be the same player after the hip issue. Seth Wilson is the best football player of the bunch. He’ll probably have a decent year this year and break out the next, unless there is another injury to Dunn or Anderson. Brooks will continue to be Diet Santiago for you guys. Will Cofield make an appearance this year? Has anyone seen Purifoy? It’s a solid crew.

UND returns the best open field player in the nation at any level in John Santiago. Three time all American. I’ve heard that we may throw a screen pass for the first time in 4 years. If we do, look out, Santiago will shred teams. Our other starter, Oliveira is a complete horse. 225lbs of Brazilian Vegan rage. There’s also the 230lb Johanneson as a change of pace guy. We’re loaded at RB. 3 all conference level backs, two all American level backs. Yea, It’s nice.

Advantage-UND because, we’re just better.

TE:
UND has finally rounded into form at this position. Alex Cloyd is an NFL athlete, really big strong kid who can run block and catch. Former wrestling champ in HS. We need to feed this beast. Luke Fiedler uses his long hair and skinny arms to confuse opponents before he locks on for a devastating block. He’s a pretty good receiver as well but won’t run away from anyone. Good ol Hunter Pinke from Wishek is a big ol ND boy who is physical on the edge and can leak out for a big gainer from time to time. Word on the street is RSFR Graham DeVore will be the h-back from hell. He’s very athletic and a mean bastard in blocking. He’s kinda like Andrew Bonnet except he’s more athletic and like girls.

OMG NDSU has sooooooo many TEs. They could all start for, like, any other team. Why the fuck would you take 5 TEs in one class? Are you fucking stupid? “Derr but we use them so much on the edge for blocking derr.” Morans. Anyway Nate Jensen is a big goofy fuck. Ben Ellefson, wait, you mean thee Ben Ellefson? I thought he went to Purdue. He’s apparently gonna blow up this year for 17 catches and 9 TDs. But will he block? Of course, that’s all he does. Noah Gindroff and Josh Babicz are supposed to be the second comings of, well, you guys have never really produced a TE prospect before so I’ve got nothing for you here.

Advantage: UND- it's the hair (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5694)
WR:
Urzenblobski is gone. That means Stick won’t be able to lock on to his boy and Sean Engle is going to have to rise to the occasion, like, really really high and use those sticky, stickiest of the icky, gloves to bring value to the position. Shepherd is still a stud, just not that fast or that tall. Christian Watson? More like Rand Watson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOk_1ZeSBe0) amiright? Is he the next tall WR prospect that you guys will drool over? Still waiting for you guys to unleash Desmond Kane. I hear he’s really really good. Dimitri Williams will probably have a career high 12 receptions this year. Talk about a hot take! Phoenix Sproles will probably have his shirt pulled to contribute on special teams. Nice.

This year we will have some shorter fast guys to add to our church basketball league looking WR corps. Noah Wanzek is a stud. He looks like a hapless doofus but when the ball is in the air he is an animal. 6’4” 210lbs of pasty greatness. Travis Toivonen is still the slowest WR in the nation, but he’s got good hands, so there’s that. Luke Stanley is a stallion but he missed most of last year with a knee injury. This year he will be back to devastating DBs in the run game and hovering up everything thrown his way. Mikey Greibel came in with much fan fare as a fr. He’s minute in stature but totally ripped bro. This year he will be our slot guru Wes Welker style. Watch out for Cam McKinney, I hear he’s every bit as fast as Santiago. He could be the deep threat we’ve been lacking the last couple of seasons. Dark horse WR is true fr Garret Maag. Word on the street is he came in at 6’5” and around 225lbs. He’s got freaky orangutan arms and runs like a deer. He’s gonna be a player.

Advantage-UND by 440 Zenners

OL:
Teh rams were really solid last year, we’ll see if they can make room for Dillon Radunz who is only 23 years away from being inducted in Canton. But first he needs to not average an ACL tear per game. I hear he’s good. Collin Conner had surgery on both hips? You fucking kidding me? Is he gonna slide over to LG? Can he even physically slide? Cordel Volson is a dark horse on the OL. He's just another big dumb ND brute who will sweat on his opponents til they don’t like football anymore. Tanner “Squidward” Volson is a lock at center. Zack Johnson is on his, what, 9th year of eligibility? Anyone at the NCAA care about this? 297 lbs of bacon at RG? Mmmmmmm, sounds good to me.

The Hogs were a fucking mess last year. We ended up starting a shit ton of fr and a guy who can’t get his weight over 270lbs. The good news is that those fr got a ton of really good experience, had a nice winter and are going to be much better off this year. Noah Mortel is a lock at LT for the next 3 years. Dudes a hoss at 6’6” 310lbs but has sweet feet. He was the one fr who more than held his own last year. Ryan Tobin is the walking definition of a big ugly (https://fightinghawks.com/roster.aspx?rp_id=5747) and he plays like it. Complete junkyard dawg inside. He and Mortel with hold down the left side til they graduate. Patrick Rooney will start at OC, nothing really special about him. He did get ejected for fighting last year so he’s a bastard, which I do like. Speaking of bastards, Grant Aplin is just mean. Honestly I wish he would play DL because he’s really short for an OL but what do I know. RT is a huge question, Nate Nguon, who is a mobile guard, will probably be the guy. I’d rather see him inside but we don’t really have a guy who is ready to hold down the edge at this point. A Dark Horse, barring injury recovery, is Connor Kruse. He’s the kind of guy that is literally fills an entire door frame. He’s huge but hasn’t had the reps yet to reveal his potential.

Advantage-NDSU with the assumption that Radunz and Connor don’t fall apart.

Overall- NDSU thanks to Mr Sprinkles

Sorry for resurrecting a dead thread but I couldn't resist since we have nothing major to discuss anyway for almost 2 weeks. Maybe geaux sioux will give us some insight on how he was wrong on the supposed playoff matchup.

[Christopher Moen]

Sorry for resurrecting a dead thread but I couldn't resist since we have nothing major to discuss anyway for almost 2 weeks. Maybe geaux sioux will give us some insight on how he was wrong on the supposed playoff matchup.

Good luck, I’m still waiting for him to explain how UND owns UNI at the UNI-Dome.


Using my iPhone to Tapatalk-a-tap-dance on the F’Hawking graves of dead feelings from those who worship Nazi-sympathizers.